ALLCAPS COOKBOOK PRESENTS: Strawberry-Balsamic Black Pepper Jam (Patreon)

I have been meaning to make fresh seasonal strawberry jam again basically since the year before I had Bastian. I used to make it with my...er...first ex-grandmother-in-law (look, I'm a mysterious dangerously sexy young divorcee, don't judge) every year, and it was so infinitely better than storebought that even plain strawberry jam tastes like a jar full of California to me.

But by this point, you all know me well enough to guess that many years hence, I have left the entire concept of "plain" far behind. I am physiologically incapable of just making a regular version of everything. (except...sigh...I totally did so that all Bastian's schoolmates could take home a little jar of non-confrontational toddler-friendly basic strawberry jam--that version was labeled THIS IS MY JAM.)

And this year I finally got my shit together to haul the kid out to a strawberry-picking field and get WAY too many berries (see additional photo evidence above!) and drag out the giant witch's pot to bubble up some red magic.

This is definitely my mysterious sexy divorcee-preferred version. The vinegar and pepper give it a little extra depth and kick that makes it really special. Now, I certainly didn't invent the combo, but every recipe I've ever found online includes a terribly DAINTY teaspoon or even half teaspoon of pepper for an entire batch of jam, which disappears in the sheer tonnage of sugar any jam you expect to set requires. So I FIXED IT.

Lastly, I used some pretty goddamned fancy balsamic vinegar from my local FANCY PEOPLE STORE. And that vinegar is lightly espresso-flavored, which just works a TREAT. Now, you can do that, if you are a big weirdo like me who would probably drink balsamic vinegar from the bottle if she wasn't worried about the judgement of SOCIETY, MAN. But regular is fine. You could add a half teaspoon of espresso powder to it if you wanted to do it on the cheap. I WILL NOT TELL THE FANCY PEOPLE, SWEARSIES.

Ingredients

2 pounds fresh strawberries, hulled and sliced at least in half.

4 cups sugar (you can see the ratio here to increase/decrease: 2 cups of sugar per pound of strawberries)

1/3 cup balsamic vinegar of whatever fanciness-level you prefer

1 heaping tablespoon black pepper (you could also do half black and half white pepper)

Juice and zest of one lemon

2 packages pectin (look, strawberries are very watery, we all need a little help to stand up for ourselves sometimes)

PUMP UP THE JAM

Do the good jam-witch thing where you put your empty jars in a pot of water and gently bring it to a boil without letting the jars touch. Boil for a few minutes then reduce to a simmer until you're ready to transfer the jam into them.

The rest is dead easy.

Put allllll your hulled strawberries into a deep pot and use either a fork or a potato-masher to squoosh them to your desired fruit-chunk-to-red-goo consistency.

Turn heat on low, then pour all the other ingredients into the cauldron of crimson yum you've got going. Stir until sugar is dissolved.

Turn heat up to high until you have a full rolling boil. The volume can increase a lot so watch it carefully. Boil until it reaches 220F on a kitchen thermometer.

Remove sterilized jars with tongs and transfer jam into them using a ladle, leaving 1/4-1/2 inch space at the top. Screw lids on tightly and leave in a safe place to cool. As they do, one of the BEST SOUNDS EVER will punctuate your day--the lids will make a loud POPTHUNK as their safety seals close up. 

Wipe down anything on the outside of the jars and affix your own labels! These will keep months in the fridge, 2-3 weeks outside. If you intend to eat it all right away, don't worry too much about a hardcore sterilization process, just put it in the fridge!

Voila, the best thing ever for toast and to SLATHER ON VANILLA ICE CREAM.