Strega Nona's Any Night Umami-Tsunami Pasta (Patreon)

Fuck food.

Seriously.

It's been too long, with too little respite, and I live on a damn island where I can't get things delivered easily, so I'm so sick of cooking and coming up with things to cook that don't bore me to tears I feel like fire-bombing my kitchen most nights.

DOING GREAT, HOW BOUT YOU?

So a few weeks ago I asked Twitter what their favorite low-effort recipes were, and after thousands of suggestions to which my responses varied from I'LL TRY IT to YOU EAT THAT? LIKE REGULARLY? someone threw up a little pasta recipe that sounded easy and good. But YOU KNOW ME, I can't just DO WHAT THE INSTRUCTIONS SAY. I've added to it a bit and adjusted things and now I have a recipe that is still pretty low (though not zero) effort, takes about half an hour, and satisfies my need for warm, savory, filling goodness without requiring creativity. I'm pretty obsessed with it, and I've made it easily ten or twelve times since the original Twitter post. Which is why I'm referencing the Queen Strega Nona, for lo the pasta flows these days.

So here is my New Standard Weeknight food, so much umami flavor it gives life meaning, and reheats fabulously with an egg on top for breakfast the next morning. It's not complicated (and though it has anchovies, it does not taste fishy at all) or hard but it tastes like you put a lot of work in, and that's pretty much what I'm after these days.

Now, some nights I make it a quick and dirty carbonara variation, which is very much optional, it's great without doing that, but I've included instructions at the bottom in case you want to. Also feel free to toss in any veggies you want, it's extremely forgiving of unexpected guests. I made it with shredded brussels sprouts one time and it was FAB. I also am just putting sichuan peppercorns on everything right now and it tastes great here (1/4 teaspoon, a little goes a long way) but that's definitely a bold flavor choice, so I don't blame you if you're not into it.

But don't skip the crackers, they really elevate it.

It's really just a fabulous gastropub pasta that's not too heavy, not too light, full of savory deliciousness and pops of fresh acidic tomatoes to lift it all up. I'm in love, it's very serious, we're looking at rings next week.

Ingredients

About half a package of pasta + reserved water (I recommend linguini or bucatini, you can use anything, but the standard long stranded pastas are best for this sauce)

Half a purple onion (white is fine, and far more traditional, I just prefer purple personally)

3 pieces of bacon

5 anchovies, diced fine

15 or so grape tomatoes, more or less to taste

1/2 cup parmesan cheese, grated

1 thai bird's eye chili

5 cloves garlic, crushed in a press (or less if you're not a GARLIC FIEND like me)

1 heaping teaspoon light miso paste

10 or so leaves of basil (optional)

Lots of black pepper

Two large whole wheat crackers, pulverized to crumbs

For carbonara variation: two large eggs whisked together in a small bowl

UMAMI TSUNAMI

Slice bacon into small strips and onions lengthwise. Pre-heat large skillet to medium high and add all together at once. Then turn heat to low and allow to cook, stirring just so that nothing sticks to the pan as the fat renders, about 20 minutes, or until bacon is mostly browned and onions soft and moving toward caramelization.

While that's happening, prepare pasta per package instructions, reserving 1 cup pasta water. Dice your anchovies and chili, press your garlic, shred your parmesan and cut up your basil.

When onions and bacon are done, increase heat to medium and add tomatoes, cook until skin begins to blister. Add garlic, chili and anchovies to onion mix and cook for another 1-2 minutes on low, allowing flavors to combine without burning the garlic.

Regular version: When pasta is done, drain and add to skillet with everything else and make sure all the pasta is coated before adding cheese, miso paste, black pepper, and about 1/4 cup of water to bring it all together.

Carbonara version: When pasta is done, add to skillet and make sure pasta is coated, adding water as necessary. Whisk cheese, black pepper, and miso into egg mixture. Turn off heat, wait 30 seconds, then pour in the egg mixture and very quickly stir vigorously with a pasta spoon, coating pasta without scrambling the egg. Slowly add another 1/4 cup to 1/2 cup of pasta water as you do this so that the egg emulsifies into a creamy sauce, cooking without curdling.

Add basil last and let sit for a minute or two to let the aroma release.

Serve sprinkled with cracker crumbs, more cheese, and more basil.

Enjoy by a rainy window and wait for a vaccine appointment.