ALLCAPS COOKBOOK PRESENTS: Chocolate and Pumpkin Chiffon Pie (Patreon)

Two Pies, Both Alike in Dignity

When I go to visit friends, I often cook for them. I LIKE TO. I PACK UNIQUE BAKING TINS.

This time, one of my old favorites was requested, a pie we often call Alternate Win Condition Pie. That is because every single goddamned time I make this pie, I FUCK IT UP. I forget some ingredient or step or WHATEVER and I have made it like twelve times and it’s ALWAYS A DIFFERENT THING and yet, each and every time, it turns out delicious. It is a RESILIENT RECIPE. It is the SISTERHOOD OF THE TRAVELING PIE. 

I got the original recipe off of Making Light, who calls it the Non-Canonical Pumpkin Pie. But I’ve made a few alterations over the years, yes, even while never being able to get the original recipe quite right, because I’m just that cool. I’M A LONER, DOTTY, A REBEL. I hardly ever make it anymore, as neither pumpkin pie nor whipped cream is preferred by my main audience. BUT I DID AGAIN LAST MONTH.

The pie, as prepared below, DID NOT LAST THE NIGHT. And we were left staring at the pie pan saying: but there is no pie now. What will we do? We are the bereft. We are the pieless. Where once was pie, now is only the emptiness of existence. And cookie crumbs.

The only answer was to make another pie. But why do two pumpkin pies? VARIETY, BITCHES.

The second was a variation on the OG, a chocolate chiffon pie that, while freaking delicious, had no proper name until Sebastian, font of pure wisdom that he is, took a bite (his first significant taste of chocolate, mind you), started dancing in his chair, and yelled BOOM BOOM BOOM!

The second pie was thusly christened Boom Boom Pie.

Both are included here for your dancing pleasure. The technique is almost identical for both, as they’re basic chiffon pies, differing mainly in ingredients. Also, if you don’t have black cocoa powder, that’s fine and ye shall not be judged. I don’t have that shit on hand, my friend did. It is, however, amazing shit. Highly recommended. Your pie won’t be quite as dark without it, but it will taste just as good.

ONWARD TOWARD PIEDOM.

Crust:

1/2 to 3/4 packet of Biscoff cookies, depending on how high up the sides of the pan you like your crust to go

6-7 tablespoons butter, depending on which amount of cookie you go with as explained above

1/2 cup pecans chopped fine

Filling:

1 envelope plain gelatin

¼ cup cold water

1 and ¼ cups mashed cooked (canned is fine) pumpkin 

¾ cup evaporated milk

½ cup water

2 egg yolks, slightly beaten

¾ cup brown sugar (scant), firmly packed

½ tsp salt

¼ tsp ginger

½ tsp nutmeg

½ tsp cinnamon

1/2 tsp clove

1/2 teaspoon cardamom

2 egg whites

½ tsp vanilla

1 cup shredded coconut, toasted

1/2 cup pecans, chopped

3/4 cup whipped cream (you’ll want homemade, so whip about 3/4 cup whipping cream with 2.5 tablespoons sugar on high speed until the magic happens)

Blitz cookies in food processor until completely pulverized. Add butter, melted, and pecans, stur all together and press into a 9 inch pie pan. Bake at 350 for 12 minutes, then set aside to cool COMPLETELY.

NOW FOR THE INNARDS.

STANDARD GELATIN PROTOCOL: Soften gelatin in the ¼ cup cold water.

Combine pumpkin, milk, ½ cup water, egg yolks, ½ cup of the sugar, the salt, and the spices in a double boiler. Cook over boiling water 10 minutes, stirring constantly. Add gelatin and stir. It will dissolve quickly. Remove from boiling water. Chill until slightly thickened. Beat egg whites until slightly foamy. Add remaining sugar to egg whites and continue beating until stiff peaks form.

Fold stiffly beaten egg whites, vanilla, pecans, and ¾ cup of the toasted coconut into pumpkin mixture.

Turn into cold pie shell.

Chill in refrigerator until firm, about 2 hours. Top with whipped cream and reserved coconut.

HELLO FROM THE OTHER PIIIIIIIIIIIE

Same technique as above! Only this time, instead of Biscoff, use Nabisco Famous Chocolate Wafer cookies (all other crustructions are identical), and instead of all the pumpkin and coconut stuff, use this:

2 1/2 teaspoons unflavored gelatin (1 package)

1/4 cup espresso, cold

1 cup whole milk

1/4 cup unsweetened (DARK) Dutch-process cocoa powder

2 tablespoons black cocoa powder (optional, just add extra regular powder if you don’t have it, or espresso powder)

1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons granulated sugar

Pinch salt

4 large egg yolks

3 large egg whites, at room temperature

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Now do this: dissolve gelatin in the 1/4 cup of espresso. Set aside. Beat egg yolks lightly in a large bowl, also set aside. Put the milk, cocoa, 1/4 cup of sugar, and salt in your double boiler, stirring constantly until all combined and dissolved, but do not let the milk boil. Remove from heat and add gelatin. 

In a thin stream, carefuly dribble 1/4 cup of chocolate mixture into the egg goop. Pour all that back into the original chocolate leftovers in the double boiler, and let it all cook while stirring constantly for about 8 minutes or until it’s thickened slightly and glossy.

Let cool about 20 minutes.

MEANWHILE, whip the egg whites, the rest of the sugar, and vanilla until stiff peaks form YOU KNOW HOW THIS GOES. Fold into the cooled chocolate, then tip it all into the cold pie crust, let chill for two hours before topping with the homemade whipped cream from the first recipe. Sift some black cocoa powder on top for decoration.

EAT BOTH.