ALLCAPS COOKBOOK PRESENTS: Not-So-Pumpkiny Pumpkin Pie (Patreon)

The Not-So-Entirely-Pumpkiny-Pie Pumpkin Pie

As many of you know, I am married to an Australian. As many of you may not know, to Australians, pumpkin is a savory food. It is for soup and quiches and whatever. So my husband does not like pumpkin pie, no way, no how. Oh, he’ll SAY he likes it, but that’s just trying to make me happy. He will follow up that wild claim by admitting that he would rather have literally any other kind of pie than pumpkin. It’s a texture thing, he says, but he just doesn’t like it. 

I FUCKING LOVE PUMPKIN PIE. We are a mixed household and it is war. If it’s autumn, you better believe I’m breaking out the cans. (I actually once committed to Real Pumpkin: I planted, nutured, grew, harvested, roasted, and pureed my own pumpkins for pie, the proper breeds and everything…and honestly it wasn’t quite as good as the canned stuff and the canned stuff doesn’t take four months to grow so WHATEVER, TRADITION OF MY AGRICULTURAL ANCESTORS.)

This year, I decided to try to make something that was undeniably pumpkin pie, but with a different texture, some crunch and some toothsomeness in order to convince the Obviously Wrong Antipodean that pumpkin pie is great. 

He allowed that it was the best possible version of pumpkin pie. 

He would still rather have apple.

Ugh. Hopeless.

But you benefit! Here is my Textured Pumpkin Pie, and I’m very proud of it indeed. You can really substitute anything in the middle layer to make this a cherry or apple or peach tart as well. If you do that, however, I would recommend whisking some jam of whatever fruit you used with a couple of tablespoons of a complimentary booze and glazing the top of the thing so it’s juicier than what you’ll see below.

And as with all pies, if you’re not topping this with vanilla ice cream, I don’t want to know you.

Ingredients:

One pie crust (store bought or homemade, all lifestyle choices are accepted and cherished here)

Bottom layer (soft marzipan):

1/2 cup whole almonds

1/3 cup + 2 tblsp sugar

1 large egg

3 tablespoons butter

2 1/2 teaspoons maple syrup 

2 teaspoons whiskey

Middle layer: pumpkin

Prepare pumpkin pie filling according to directions on your favorite canned pumpkin. Add a tablespoon of unsweetened dark cocoa powder for a bit of smoky depth. You will only use half of this, if that, so store the rest for another pie or half the recipe on the can. YES I SAID THE CAN CANS CAN BE FANCY

Top layer: streusel

1/3 cup flour

1/3 cup dry oatmeal 

1/3 cup brown sugar

1/8 cup white sugar

1/4 teaspoon salt

4 tablespoons butter

1/4 teaspoon cinnamon

A frickin lot of walnuts. Like 1/2 a cup. More. All. Whaddaya got?

Method Acting

Pre-heat oven to 375

Combine all bottom layer ingredients in food processor and process until a thick goo is achieved. Pour into pie crusted pie pan. There should be plenty of room left before pie overtakes the top of the crust. Bake in oven, with aluminum foil around the edges of the crust to prevent burning, for 10-15 min until barely set. Remove from oven.

Pour pumpkin pie filling (remember, about half of the full recipe on the can) over set marzipan layer. Return to oven and cook 20-25 minutes.

Combine all streusel ingredients in a large bowl and mush together with your hands or a pastry cutter until crumbly and well mixed.

Remove two layer pie from oven, over with streusel layer, and finish baking for another 15-20 minutes, being careful to let neither the crust nor the topping burn.

Enjoy THE MANY TEXTURES OF A CUSTOM ENGINEERED PIE MY HUSBAND SAYS IS PERFECTLY ALL RIGHT.