January Recipe: Muhammara (Syrian Pepper and Walnut Dip) (Patreon)

ALLCAPS COOKBOOK PRESENTS: Muhammara!

So I got it into my head last month that I wanted to learn how to cook a little Syrian cuisine. The fact is, most of my…erm…louder countrymen yell about Syria a lot but don’t know Thing One about the place, and probably wouldn’t recognize a Syrian person if one stopped them on the street and kindly offered to make them amazing food. Restaurants featuring the culinary spread of various other countries in the region are reasonably common in Ne England, but, heartbreakingly, I doubt many Syrian restaurants will be allowed to open here any time soon. And yet, it’s a beautiful country with an extraordinary history and culture, and we really should be learning about it instead of just yelling about it.

This is the recipe I found that I could make without going to a special store for ingredients (except the Aleppo peppers, but you can get those online very easily, as I did).

Oh my god you guys, this stuff is amazing. The flavors are rich and comforting, and the texture is like fricking…eating a summer cloud, I don’t even know. I scarfed up half of it in one afternoon, I just couldn’t stop. I’M NOT PROUD OKAY IT’S JUST A FACT THIS STUFF IS ADDICTIVE YOU’RE NOT BETTER THAN ME YOU’RE GONNA EAT IT ALL TOO.

Which ultimately is probably good. Muhammara is definitely best eaten fresh. It’s fine refrigerated, but nothing compares to the just made flavor. 

It’s technically a dip, and warm pita bread is AMAZEBALLS dipped in it, as are crackers of more or less any kind. It’s also great as a sandwich spread or heated up as a sauce for meatballs or steak or chicken or pretty much anything. It’s goop, in other words, goop that tastes like heaven on a bender. 

Ingredients

2 roasted red bell peppers (from the jar or you can roast your own. Don’t forget to remove the skins if you do…don’t tell anyone, but I think of the skins as gnome condoms. They’re red like a gnome hat, and a very…specific texture.)

1 cup walnuts, toasted

1/2 cup scallions or white onion 

1 clove garlic, roughly chopped

juice of 1/2 lemon

1/4 cup bread crumbs 

1 Tbsp pomegranate molasses (if you don’t have it, reduce some pomegranate juice in a pot on the stove for 15 minutes or until it coats the back of a spoon, let cool, voila, pomegranate molasses. You could also do a high quality balsamic vinegar in a pinch. The key is tart and sweet.)

1 tsp smoked paprika

1 tablespoon Aleppo pepper flakes (yes, you can use regular red pepper flakes if you have to, but reduce the amount if you don’t like it spicy)

1 tsp of cumin

2-3 tablespoons olive oil (when you blend, add the third if it looks dry and clumpy)

Salt and pepper to taste.

How to Make It Do

Oh my god, this is the hardest recipe, you guys. It’s so many steps. So many processes. So much thinking and measuring and waiting and simmering and timing and skimming and COMPLEXITY WHAT. ARE YOU READY FOR THIS MULTI-STAGE MONSTROSITY?

Put all the ingredients except the bread crumbs in a food processor and whizz it till its smooth, then add the bread crumbs and WHIZZ IT BABY ONE MORE TIME.

Serve.

I’ve read versions that say a food processor looses flavor and you should blend all this using a mortar and pestle, but let’s be real, here, ain’t nobody got time, or a big enough mortar and pestle, for that.