Candy Chaos Part 1 (Patreon)

Part 1: Chocolate Shuffle

Everybody loves chocolate, the sugary sweet stuff that gives us cavities and makes us fat. However, imagine being both made out of chocolate and still able to move. A living candy, a creature that is both animate and inanimate at the same time. Such creatures live among us, they are the M&M "spokescandies" and three friends were about to experience what it's like to be them...

It all started one day when the monkey-scientist Jam was hanging outside with his two friends, Rob the weasel and Dylan the human. Rob used to be a human, until an evil cartoon character from the old "Spy Dogs" show attacked and permanently transformed him into his current form. Dylan was a seemingly ordinary man with a brown beard and rather typical glasses.

To the outside looking in, he would appear to be your average guy. Dylan was actually a man who loved to swap bodies with anthropmorphic Pokemon babes, to the point where he was very rarely in his own body. This was one of the rare occasions where he was actually himself, though this would soon change.

Jam lead the three towards the downtown area of the city, on the prowl for some great bods to steal. Jam smirked as he rubbed his monkey paws together, "Alright, boys, you're about to wear some of the most hot and unique bodies you've ever worn!"

Rob smiled and pointed at Jam with his paw, "That works for me! I get tired of people calling me 'noodle-boy' and picking me up by my armpits all the time,"

Jam snickered and did as Rob described, picking up the thin weasel by his armpits, "You were saying 'noodle-boy'?"

Rob growled, "You did that on purpose!"

"That I did, my rather long friend!"

Dylan cleared his throat, "Very funny, Jam, now what bodies are we looking for?"

Jam winked and placed the weasel back on the ground, "Why spoil the surprise? All I can say is that the bodies are rather 'sweet'!"

"Sweet like chocolate? I could go for some chocolate!"

"Oh, there will be chocolate alright..." The monkey said with a snicker while wringing his hands.

The human shrugged his shoulders, "Whatever you say, you crazy monkey! Lead the way,"

"Can do!"

Jam knuckle-walked towards his destination, sniffing the ground like a bloodhound as he moved along the ground on all fours. Dylan and Rob followed behind him, like a group of mystery solvers trailing their dog. Jam eventually stopped, smelling his quarry from a fountain in the middle of the city. "Found them!" Whispered the monkey as he stood up and reached into his pocket.

Dylan looked at Jam, "So how do we approach this? Mind-swap helmets? Magic amulet? Bumping our heads together?"

Jam pulled out a silver grenade, "A body-swap grenade, my bearded friend!"

Rob and Dylan stared at it in utter awe. "I thought those were banned for swapping too many people at once!" Whispered Rob, his eyes staring intently at the silver grenade.

The monkey winked, "They were, but I made one that only swaps six people at once. And as long as a body-swap grenade doesn't swap more than a dozen people at once, it's perfectly legal,"

"Ha, should've known you'd have some over-the-top way to swap us! Swap away, monkey, I'm curious to see what bodies you have planned for us today," Said  Dylan, while giving Jam the thumbs up.

"Can do, Dylan!" Jam said as he tossed the grenade behind the fountain, catching three hapless women off-guard. Before they could say anything, the grenade hit both the ladies and the men with a blast of golden energy. The souls of the six people were separated from their bodies, causing them to slump onto the ground as their spirits floated out of their bodies.

The trio’s souls all floated above their bodies as they quickly spotted their targets. Dylan gasped as he saw both the bodies and the disembodied souls of their targets: They were M&M spokescandies! "Jam, you want us to swap with candy?!" Shouted Dylan.

"Animate candy, my friend! Besides, you've swapped bodies with a leach with sucker titties before. Surely, this isn't the strangest!"

"Fair point, but it's a big leap going from something like that to being living food,"

"Hey, you gotta try new things! Isn't that right, R-"

Jam turned and saw Rob's spirit floating before him in human form. "What?" Rob asked as he turned to look at his fellow spirits,"

"You're a human again!"

"Oh, right. My body may be permanently a weasel now, but my soul remains the same. I guess souls just don't change shape, unless you're swapping 'bodies' with a ghost?"

Dylan and Jam nodded in unison. "That makes sense!" Shouted the bearded human.

Just then, the three were interrupted by the sounds of screaming and panicking. "Eep, are we dead?! Have our shells finally been c-c-c-cracked?"! Shouted Ms. Purple, the nervous and bubbly M&M.

The ever beautiful Ms. Green shook her ghostly green head, "Relax, they wouldn't kill us off! They didn't even have the guts to replace us with Maya Rudolph, so they wouldn't off us,"

Ms. Brown, the intelligent and no-nonsense candy, nodded as she adjusted her spectral glasses, "Of course, we're just too popular and important to the brand to get rid of,"

Jam looked down at the candy ghosts as they helplessly thrashed about in mid-air, "Looks like those three are struggling as spirits! Gives us the perfect change to steal their bodies!"

Rob and Dylan nodded as the three swam down towards the trio of candies. Jam grabbed Ms. Green's spectral form, "Hey, ghostly chimp! Sorry, I don't do autographs!"

"Oh, we'll see who's a chimp in a second," Jam said as he grabbed Ms. Green's soul and chucked it into his unconscious monkey body.

Rob grabbed the purple M&M, "Sorry miss, but you gotta be a weasel!"

"But I don't want to be a weasel!" Rob ignored the Ms. Purple's pleas and pushed her soul into his body.

Dylan approached Ms. Brown's spirit and scratched the back of his head, "Hey, sorry miss, but I'm going to have to hijack your body!"

Ms. Brown stared at Dylan as she pressed her glasses closer to her face. She was enamored by the man's appearance, "Oh, I don't mind! You seem like you'd handle it well!"

Dylan scratched the back of his head nervously, "Y-You really think so?"

"Of course! I'm an excellent judge of character,"

Jam laughed, "Oh my gosh, Dylan is crushing on the brown M&M!"

Rob slapped Jam's spectral head, "Shush, Jam, he's just being nice!"

"Yeowch, surprised I could feel pain as a ghost! And hey, let me ship Dylan at least ONCE. This is the first story I've shared together with him in years!"

Dylan sighed, "Sorry about my friend, he is rather hyper and has the ability to break the fourth wall at random,"

"It's fine! Maybe we can hang out once we swap back!"

Dylan would've blushed at that moment, but lacked the blood to do so, "S-Sure! Anyway, I gotta say goodbye to you for now!" Dylan then grabbed Ms. Brown and threw her soul into his body.

Jam rubbed his hands, "Alright, now that their in our bodies, let's float into our new forms!"

Jam then flew into the Ms. Green's soulless shell, as Rob and Dylan did the same with Ms. Purple and Ms. Brown's shells respectively. As soon as their souls entered their new bodies, the letters on the shells changed to match their real names. Afterwards, the three friends awoke in their new bodies.

Moving around proved to be challenging to them at first. The way their bodies were constructed meant that they were simply a candy circle with very thin human-like arms and legs. Due to their bodies being large pieces of candies, it left them with rather weightless torsos.

It was challenging to accommodate for their decreased weight at first, which wasn't helped by the thinness of their new limbs. Their arms and legs felt more "organic" compared to the rest of them, like a mix of human and candy. As such, it was tricky trying to maneuver in a body that was part candy and part living being.

Still, the three friends were expert swappers and got the hang of it rather quickly. After a few minutes of practice and awkward arm and leg twitching, the trio were able to stand up and admire their new bodies. Jam's body was now a green colored circle with arms and legs, along with big pouty lips and long eyelashes.

Lacking a nose meant that Jam couldn't smell anything, but she didn't mind too much as she found her new body quite attractice. The candy found herself in a pair of fancy white boots, which were designer wear for a luxury candy such as herself. Jam took her new gloved hands and ran them along her hard candy shell, "Mmm, scrumptious!"

Dylan was in a different boat, feeling nervous being an animate piece of candy. While still possessing glasses, the rest of her form was alien to her. Her "bod "was now just a large brown circle with the initial of her name emblazoned upon her chest. She was lacking in many facial features and defining traits, and found it a bit unnerving that her head and her torso were now the same thing. She clicked her white high-heeled shoes together nervously, "This is embarrassing!"

Rob was of the same mind as Jam, loving her new form and the hardened shell encasing her body. Being Ms. Purple meant that Rob was taller than the other two, possessing a more egg-shaped body. Rob was also enamored by the regal shade of purple now decorating her body, like a chocolate meant only for the finest of royalty.

Jam smiled as she pressed her hands against her nonexistent waist, "Ah yeah, these candy babe bods are great!"

Dylan held her gloved hands in front of her face, marveling at how they now only had four fingers each, "I know I said I wanted some chocolate today, but this is ridiculous!"

Rob made lovey-dovey eyes at Dylan, entranced by her bespectacled chocolate form, "To be fair, Dylan, I'd say you are some rather HOT chocolate!"

"Geez, everyone's hitting on you in this story, Dylan! You've become quite the catch," Said the green M&M in jest.

"Oh, shush you! We're chocolate babes, now what?" Asked the brown M&M as she adjusted her glasses.

"Ooh, let's go and have some fun while we're in these bodies!" Exclaimed the purple M&M, infatuated by her new chocolaty form.

Jam gave Rob the thumbs up, "Sure, let's get a move on before the babes in our bodies find us!"

Rob peaked behind the fountain and saw the three pieces of candy in their bodies thrashing about on the ground struggling to get control of them. Dylan snickered, "Well, looks like we have plenty of time before they get back up! Fine, I guess I could be candy for a little bit,"

"That's the spirit!" Shouted Jam as he smacked the lower back of the chocolate.

"Are you trying to smack my rump, Jam? You know candies don't have those!"

"Shush, let me live in my fantasy! Anyway, let's get a move on,"

Jam lead the way as her two friends followed her, all three quickly getting the hang of walking in their new bodies. With nothing between their legs and having a body that is also a torso, walking felt a bit odd to them now. Still, it was easy enough to manage in their new bodies that it quickly became natural to them.

Dylan finally noticed something odd with her new body, specifically within her mouth. She smacked her lips, "Wow, I constantly taste chocolate in this body! Anybody else dealing with that?"

The green M&M licked the inside of her mouth in an overtly sensual way, "Of course, sweetie! Our mouths are made out of chocolate, so that is the only thing we can taste,"

Rob giggled, "Wait, you two can ONLY taste chocolate?"

Jam pouted as she turned to face Rob, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, I taste both chocolate AND caramel! Makes sense, since the purple M&M was on the packaging for the caramel candies,"

Jam scoffed, "Your mouth does not taste like caramel! All M&M spokescandies are officially the same flavor,"

Rob batted her eyelashes at Jam, "Really? Why don't you kiss me and find out?"

"Can do, my saucy candy!" Jam said as she bent in for a kiss. Dylan silently watched as her two friends locked lips and embraced each other, kissing deeply. Jam worked her tongue in there, French-kissing her fellow candy in the process. After kissing for several minutes, the pair pulled apart.

Jam gasped, "You really do taste like caramel!"

The purple M&M winked at Jam, "See? I told you!"

Dylan walked up to the pair, "Well, I see your little exploration there was a success!"

Rob nodded as she smiled at Dylan, "We sure did! Want to get a taste next?”

The brown M&M shook her head, "I'm good for now! So besides taste-testing each other's mouths, what else can we do?"

Jam pointed at nearby passersby, "We strut our stuff for our adoring fans, that's what!"

To be continued...