Arachnid Anarchy Part 1 (Patreon)

Author's Note: This is based off a pic I got from Dez-A-Sketch!

Day 1: The Big Heist

Spiders are truly misunderstood in nature, due to a natural fear of them from most people. In truth, not all spiders are venomous or deadly. In fact, they eat tons of disease carrying insects! Of course, not every spider is a friend. Some are dastardly thieves who will take and take until you have nothing left. This is the story of how one tarantula stole everything from a monkey in just three days...

It all started in Jam's lab one day, he was mixing some potions together when his simian hearing picked up the sound of something small! It sounded like the scurry of multiple legs across the floor, a spider to be precise. Jam would normally ignore this, but these didn't sound like the legs of an ordinary spider. In fact, they sounded more like the footsteps of a tarantula. Jam panicked, "Eep, poisonous critter!"

The monkey sheepishly ran on all fours to a nearby table and grabbed a glass cup and newspaper, the spider's natural enemy. Using these two household items, one could easily skirt a spider outside. Jam approached who he believed to be a venomous pest and looked down, only to find out he was completely wrong! Instead, it was Ms. Tarantula from the hit animated film: "The Bad Guys!"

The tiny anthropomorphic red spider had 8 legs, 2 arms, and a proper head and neck, giving her way more limbs compared to the average arachnid. She was clad only in her black hoodie and headphones, choosing not to wear pants as she couldn't find a pair to fit around her many tiny legs. The spider looked up at Jam and gave him a sinister smile with her big, goofy teeth, "Heya, monkey-boy!"

Jam gasped and gently picked the spider up, right before placing her on his palm and moving her up to eye-level, "M-Ms. Tarantula?! What are you doing here?"

She smiled as she wiggled her large abdomen around, "Well, I've come here to swap bodies with a great monkey-scientist like yourself. You're the one who swaps bodies with all the hot furry girls, right?"

Jam nodded, "Of course! My cute, little monkey body brings all the babes to the yard!"

Ms. Tarantula gave a slight nod as she eyed up the monkey, "I see why! Mind swapping with me, handsome?"

Jam nervously chattered as he scratched at his head, "I dunno, all the other lab-workers are on vacation and you are an ex-con! Seems like kind of a bad idea,"

She then crawled around on Jam's palm using her 8 legs, rhythmically tapping his hand in order to entice the monkey. She giggled and winked, "Come on! It's not every day a fine monkey like yourself gets to swap with a hot spider like me. Besides, I don't do crimes anymore!"

Jam shrugged his shoulders, "Well, if you say so! I guess one little swap couldn't hurt,"

Ms. Tarantula gave a playful wink, "That's the spirit!"

Jam then walked over to a nearby table, unaware that the spider was plotting something nefarious. Jam placed the spider on the table, before turning his attention to one of his inventions. He grabbed a bottle of his patented "Body-Swap Pills" and ate one, before handing the other to the spider. These pills allowed two people to swap bodies simply by consuming them, but only for a limited time. Despite Tarantula's measly size, she was able to swallow the pill whole with zero effort. With both pills ingested, the pair began to feel lightheaded. "Ooh, here we go!" Shouted Jam as the dizziness took hold of him.

Both Jam's and Tarantula's eyes fluttered as their vision became blurred. Once they could see clearly again, Jam found himself (or rather "herself") looking down at a sexy spider body! She smiled as she removed her black hoodie and headphones, leaving herself completely naked. She inspected her body, noting its many limbs and large (at least relative to the size of her body) breasts. She also had 8 legs, a large thorax, and a body covered in orange hair. She giggled as she poked her large, silly teeth, "Man, these are some big chompers!"

She used her new legs to crawl along the table-top, marveling at how big everything looked to her now minuscule body. It had been a long time since Jam had been this tiny! She tried to make webbing, but didn’t know quite how to do so! Regardless, simply crawling with a many-legged body was exciting to her.

Jam smiled as she waved her thorax around, "This is awesome!"

Tarantula had the opposite reaction, as he didn't like his new body very much at all. It was smelly, hairy, and lacking in all the subtlety and grace of his female spider body. The only thing he liked was the prehensile tail, but it still wasn't anywhere near as useful as the webs he used to be able to spin. Thankfully, he wouldn't have to put up with his horrid, little body for much longer as he was about to enact his plan.

Tarantula cackled mischievously as he picked up the spider with his greasy monkey paws, "Glad one of us enjoys this, at least! It'll keep you busy then!"

Jam raised an eyebrow, "What do you mean by 'keep me busy'? Wait, you don't mean-"
"Bring it in, boys!" Shouted the former Tarantula, right before the door burst open. Four anthropomorphic animals emerged from behind it: Mr. Wolf, Mr. Snake, Mr. Shark, and Mr. Piranha!

Mr. Wolf smiled as he held up a glass tarantula tank, “Guess who’s going in here?”

Jam panicked and tried to make a break for it, only for Tarantula to squeeze her tight. He cackled, “Sorry, my adorable, little spider, but you need to go in the tank for a while!”

The monkey then tossed the naked spider into the tank, before closing it shut. Jam grumbled as she laid on a stick in the middle of the tank, her large thorax sticking out, “I really need to stop swapping bodies with every cartoon babe I find…”

Tarantula laughed as he peered into the tank and stared at the spider’s backside, “Man, my spider-butt is huuuuuuge, hah! Sorry, but this was a setup for me and my crew to rob ya! You’ll be fine in my body in this tank!”

Being just a tiny spider in a tank, he lacked any way to defend himself or get out of his current situation. He could only watch as the trio of five evil anthropomorphic animals took everything he had. He desperately hoped they wouldn’t find and take his most prized possession, something that meant the world to him.

After stealing all they could find, they prepared to leave. Mr. Wolf grinned and winked, “Alright, Webs, we’ll leave once those pills wear off!”

Tarantula breathed a sigh of relief, “Great, I can’t wait to be out of this hairy loser’s hide!”

Just as they were preparing to leave, Jam heard something that made her little heart nearly jump out of her chest: The sound of robotic feet treading along the tiled floor! Peppermint, Jam’s robo-moth daughter, entered the room after having just finishing charging for the past 12 hours! Peppermint panicked at the site of the thieves, “Looters!”

Peppermint hauled up a metal fist, ready to punch the thieves into submission. Before she could, Tarantula leaped out in front of the moth still wearing Jam’s body, “Wait, uh… You! They’re friends of mine!”

Peppermint narrowed the eyes on her digital display, “Get out of my dad’s body right now, or I’ll teach you all the meaning of pain!”

Jam panicked and banged on the inside of the tank, she knew Peppermint wasn’t capable of taking on five thieves at once, “Peppermint, don’t!”

The robo-moth couldn’t hear her father from behind her glass prison, much to Jam’s horror. Peppermint prepared to assault them, only for Tarantula to shout: “Robot, power down!”

Peppermint’s body started shutting down at the sound of “Jam’s” voice, “Nooooo, I muuuust proteeeect daaaad’s laaaab…” Her body hit the floor with a loud thud as the Bad Guys gathered around her. Mr. Wolf smirked as he rubbed his paws together, “Looks like we have our own robot servant now, guys!”

Just as Peppermint fell to the floor, the body-swap pills wore off and Jam found himself back in his body! He ran over to his fallen daughter and held his hands up trying to protect her, “Take whatever you want from my lab, keep your hands off my daughter!”

The wolf snickered, “Look who’s back in their own body! Too bad, we’re taking everything here, pal,”

Mr. Snake let out a hiss-filled laugh, “That machine is your daughter? It’s nothing but metal and scrap!”

Jam shook his head, “Thieves like you wouldn’t understand, Peppermint means the world to me in spite of being mechanical! You can take all my earthly possessions, all of my science experiments, you can even take my body. However, I will not allow you to take my only child!”

Mr. Wolf scowled and grabbed the monkey by his hair, hoisting him upwards, “Listen, banana breath, I don’t care what you call that machine of yours! She’s ours now, along with everything else in your lab!”

The wolf then threw Jam against a chair, before tying him to it using some rope. Jam kicked his hairy legs around while struggling in his binds, “Listen here, I will find you jerks and I will take back my daughter! You won’t-”

Before Jam could finish, Ms. Tarantula leaped out of the tank and shot web at his mouth, covering it so he couldn’t speak. “Mmmff mmmph!” The monkey let out muffled shouts as the group of criminals turned to leave.

Ms. Tarantula winked, “You’re welcome to try and take back what we took, just be warned that next time we’ll steal even more from you!”

With that, the gang of thieves left the tied up monkey alone in his lab. Eventually, Jam managed to escape after hours of struggling. After doing so, he pulled the web from his lips, “I’ll get those thugs for this! Nobody kidnaps my lovely robotic daughter and gets away with it!”

Jam planned to get some tracking tech to figure out the thieves’ location the next day, since all they stole was his equipment and none of his money. He figured he’d be able to go down and simply buy what he needed! Little did he know that a simple shopping trip would lead to more tragedy...