Weekly Journal (March 13th) (Patreon)

Last week was an all timer. Here is what I mean.

I've been doing this job for 5 years now. Usually, when I finish a video I've already got a pretty good idea of what I'm doing next, even if I'm stuck between two topics. Maybe I'll even have a 3rd topic sneak in and steal away all of my attention and get the nod. This was not what last week was like.

I have probably tossed around 8 different topics. I've made thumbnails, I've started scripts, I've done research, I've put out a prompt to the community. I've received OVER 500 responses on that prompt, only to then realize that someone had done almost *exactly* the video I was planning (which received just gargantuan views because ofc) meaning the prompt post was all a big waste of time. I am still receiving notifications on it, providing further taunting that I did not make that video sooner... despite you guys thinking it was a cool idea months ago.

I am upsetti spaghetti. And although now... FINALLY I think I have my topic, I can't help but find myself wondering if it it's best. I mean just LOOK at this Kasumi thumbnail I made! Don't you guys want to see another deep character analysis like with Omori or Deltarune?? THAT WOULD BE COOL RIGH-but wait, spoilers really make people shy away and... persona 5 has been kind of discussed ad nauseum for the past 5 years on YT. Probably wouldn't do well. Hm. OH AND COOL 2 OTHER CHANNELS HAVE DONE THIS VIDEO ANYWAYS NEVERMIIIIIND

The YT burnout/apathy/stress/fuckywuckyangery has been weighing down on me since this last video flopped. I have a chip on my shoulder and while usually that's when I'm at my best, for some reason this time I'm just a little bit more miffed than I usually allow myself to be. But I guess... that's life. And the only thing I can do is move forward. So look forward to a something special on April 1 and something interesting on April 8th. I'll be in the lab cooking up something nice.

Also, I'm super behind on commentary streams. I'm missing November all the way to March, so I think this week I'll just record them on my own time to knock them out. I'm also considering changing how I do those and maybe... only doing LIVE commentaries for stuff that was just uploaded. It'll be recent and fresh on my mind which will probably make for more interesting insights. Let me know what you think. 

TLDR: I'm indecisive as hell. Got a million topics swirling and I'm a little gun-shy for fear of a video flopping again. I'll pull myself up though, always do. Keep your chin up, I'll do the same. Have a damn good week everyone.