Re.Serenity - a rewrite? (Patreon)
Content
Brace yourself... It's another long post. But you'll want to read this. This is important.
The 19th of August, 2020... That was the day I made my first post on Patreon. I had written the first part of Serenity 2 years before that in 2018. Today, we're pretty far removed from the story ideas that were in that first post (when I was describing Serenity in such a cheesy way). Everything changed. The character models, many story elements... Hell, it became something completely different from what I wrote in 2018.
Serenity is special to me. Hidden throughout that story are quotes and ideas that I have experienced personally. From the "mom with cancer and her death" arc, to the tiniest funny moments I've thrown in there. Bullying, embarrassment, feeling ashamed or scared, being judged, wanting to be loved, it's all in there in some form or another. But honestly, Serenity is a jumbled mess of emotions that wasn't well organized during development. I can admit that. I had a short conversation with someone in the Serenity thread on F95 about rewriting Serenity. I had told him I had no intention of doing that. But the more I wrote as I replied to him, the more I began to understand where he was coming from. I can see a rewrite working for the better. There are a lot of things I've wished I could change but got too deep in to do anything about.
Should I rewrite it? Let's talk about the changes that would be made. Let's start with the issue of "no incest". First of all, Camilla would not be the MC's sister. Mom (Karen) would not be a part of Serenity (brought back to life so to speak). None of that happened in my original version of the story. When Mom dies, she's gone and doesn't appear in the story again outside of flashbacks and her initial visit in spirit form to guide him in the beginning. Next, the first scene of the game with Trina. I was a dumbass for writing it the way I did. I was too anxious to put in something 'porn' and did it too soon and at such a wrong time. That whole scene, the way it played out, would be completely different. More the way it should go compared to real life. And speaking of Trina, she should never have gone to Serenity. I did it because people liked her. But she doesn't really belong in Serenity. In a rewrite, she would have more scenes during the 'pre-Serenity' arc. But nothing too lewd.
Part of the issue with Serenity is that there are way too many characters to deal with. You end up not seeing some of them for several updates. I hate that. There are so many that were added and never should have been. And many of the situations around them were resolved WAY too quickly. They should have been drawn out more. The following characters would remain in a rewritten version: Kat, Rin, Jasmine, Lena, Morgan, Trixy, and Camilla are 'main' girls. They are the original 7 'love interests' I intended (before I decided to make Camilla his sister). Lily was added later and was really an afterthought. So she would become an 8th main LI. I would keep her in the rewrite because I love that model (that's the reason I asked Cryoxxx if I could have her for my game). Samantha and Cassie would remain, but only as 'side' girls because they are intended to be part of Camilla's arc. Cinn (the nurse he pulls from one of his 'games') would remain (another side character) but not seen often. Shade and Fade are part of the base story and would remain. They aren't technically part of the harem because they are attached to each side of the magic that Serenity feeds off of.
I would still keep Melody and Celeste's appearances in the story. But they would be limited to very short 'visit' scenes. And I have a few more girls from other games that I want to have 'visit'. Again, those will be special scenes and they will have a lot less to do with Serenity itself. I love crossovers and will do them at various times. If you played the latest episode for Chapter 2 (episode 2), then you met Milanna. She will remain. She was in my original story. She has an important part to play. Although not a main love interest, she is definitely on the table as a love interest. But she won't be part of the harem. Another character that has a similar role would be Marissa (the android). She would remain. Finally, there is Triss. I know she's really cute and all, but she was never meant to be in Serenity either. Her parts would only be in flashbacks/memories from the bullying aspect. Speaking of that, I would also need to flesh out the bullying stuff better because it wasn't as evident what was happening the way I wrote it. Mia would not be part of the story at all. Another character I added on a whim. She's a pretty character but there needs to be more to this than just pretty girls.
Basically, what we would end up with is a Serenity that is much more focused on our main girls. A lot more time spent getting to know each one and more time spent before actually entering Serenity itself. The main girls won't be so quick to 'accept' other girls coming into their fold and will speak their minds about it. More time with Kat, Trina, and Triss at the beginning. More fleshed out drama situations that won't be resolved too quickly. Better graphics as we replace those earlier scenes. I would pretty much start fresh and use the same character cards. Development would be slightly quicker since I already have most of the base scenes created. But I wouldn't reuse old renders because I changed things up a lot. I'd want everything to match up. The graphics would be work, but the hard work is in the writing. And I've already written some test scenes to see if I will like how it flows. I do. But the question is... Would you all be onboard? If I stopped working on Serenity Chapter 2 right now. If I started working on Re.Serenity in between Last Human updates... Would you be onboard for that? Does any of this sound exciting? Doing this would grant a few of the wishes I've seen from reviewers and other commenters. The biggest being that Camilla would no longer be off limits - she would actually become part of the harem. I've regretted making her the sister for a long time now. This would be my chance to correct that. And put in the story ideas I've wished I could put in for a while now.
Please comment your thoughts below. I'll make this a poll also for those who don't have anything to comment but want to express an interest in this idea (or not). The options are:
- I stop working on Serenity Chapter 2 and immediately begin work on Re.Serenity (uh, that's just the working name I'm going with - I'm open to ideas).
- Forget the rewrite and just continue Serenity Chapter 2.
The outcome of this vote is NOT going to direct my decision. I simply want to get an idea of how many of you would like the idea. I may do this no matter how this vote goes because what I have in mind would make it so much better than before. Then again, if like 90% of people hate the idea of a rewrite, then I don't know. So, let's hear what you have to say.