Ladies wot brunch a little too much (Patreon)

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Ahhhh, a little digestive siesta in the Eastern heat. Much needed after that luxurious four-hour brunch at the Jumeirah Al Qasr, eh ladies? ...(Burrrp!)

Anyone who's experienced a Dubai brunch will surely envy and empathise with these heavily fed hotties in equal measure. For those who haven't... well, picture the most extravagant all-you-can-eat buffet imaginable, spread over multiple rooms and outdoor areas overlooking the sea, with endless stands, tables and serving hatches boasting food every bit as beautiful, colourful and delicious as you'd get in a top restaurant. Picture palm trees shading the outdoor tables and pink-gold walkways that weave around verdant shrubbery, and pools that glitter under the bluest skies and the brightest sun, with lazy turtles gliding through their sparkling waters.

Picture smart, underpaid servers standing ready at every turn, polite and deferential, trying not to stare too obviously at the abundance of tanned thighs and jiggling bottoms as bejewelled ladies of wealth and leisure saunter between the counters in their elegant but provocative summer fineries, piling their trays with ever more delicacies to push between their pouty lips, and a befuddling excess of glittery cocktails.

All that food and drink has to go somewhere, of course, and as the morning progresses you'll see no shortage of expensive tops and dresses tightening around expanding middles. Towards the end, you might even spy the odd beauty lifting her sunglasses or wiping a bead of sweat from her golden locks, puffing her cheeks and caressing her food baby, groaning to her companions about how much she's eaten. Taxis sink notably under their oppulently fed occupants, who haul themselves aboard with several extra pounds of food weighing heavy in their bellies, praying in vain that the driver won't be quite so maniacal on the return journey to their villas, where an afternoon snoozing by the pool beckons.

What a life.

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Hope you enjoy this pic. There will be a story to go with it, so for now I won't give anything away about who these well-brunched ladies are, or what else they've been up to.

As always, I'd love to hear all thoughts, comments and criticisms.