The Shatterplate War Chapter 28 (Patreon)

Kay stared at the posing elven man for a moment before standing up and pushing back from his desk. “Fine. Follow me.”

“What?” The elf who’d just challenged Kay for his Noble Title actually looked shocked at Kay’s reply. It was like he’d been expecting some other response. “Don’t you know who I am?”

“No, why would I know who you are?” Kay glared at him as he walked towards the door, “And what does it matter who you are? I’m not fighting you in my office.” Kay ignored whatever spluttering words the elf said as he walked off and started heading for the stairs.

“Sir? Is everything alright?” Lauren looked up from the conversation she’d been having with Tyuah, bent close over the other woman as they sat outside the door to Kay’s office.

“This idiot,” He pointed at the elf, “Just challenged me for my Noble Title. So we’re headed over to the academy to use one of the training areas.”

The two women that were the only members of Kay’s personal troops turned ferocious glares at the man, who ignored them as he turned his nose up at Kay.

“You don’t even have a true dueling ground? What a dump this place is. I’ll have to make certain everything is up to my standards once I’m in charge.”

Kay stared at him, his mind completely blank. After a literal minute of staring at the moron, Kay shook his head and started walking off without a word.

People rushed off, and a crowd started forming as word spread that some stranger was there to try and take Kay’s Mayor Title away. The elf waved at the crowd and stopped to pose every few feet, which led to confused looks and hushed whispers from everyone following them.

They made it to the academy area in more time than it usually took, thanks to the number of people coming with them, and when they got there, Eleniah was standing outside the main doors, her expression blank. As Kay got closer to her, he saw her eyes were bright with anger. She turned to look at the elven man, who drew himself upright into another pose. 

He smiled at her in what he obviously thought was a charming way. “Hello, beautiful lady, I am-”

“Shut up.” She turned away from him and nodded to Kay. “Amanda sent word of what’s happening. I cleared out one of the sparring arenas for you.”

“Thanks.”

“Eh.” She shrugged and turned to the crowd. “If you have actual work to do, I’d suggest going to do it! This is going to be a quick event, and I don’t think any of you are ready for how disappointing this is going to be.”

Most of the crowd shared looks and shrugs and peeled off to go back to their normal business. Eleniah was the strongest of Avalon’s citizens, so her call on combat matters was often accepted without questions, especially by regular people.

“I take joy in your confidence in me, splendiferous lady!” The elven man exclaimed, having recovered from the shock of Eleniah telling him to shut up. “I truly will end this battle quickly!”

Eleniah looked at him with a confused, questioning expression that she quickly turned on Kay.

“I don’t know.” He shrugged, “Dude’s been acting like this the whole time.”

“Huh…” She slowly turned towards the entrance to the academy, her expression as she stared at the elf, now one of someone studying a strange creature she’d never seen before. She grabbed Kay’s arm and pulled him closer to her as she led the way to the training area. “He’s got three classes. Tier three Swordsman (Longsword), tier three Duelist, and tier two Apprentice Wine Taster.” She whispered, “He’s incredibly weak. What the hell is he doing here?”

“I… have no idea. This seems like a really stupid move on his part, if that’s all he has. He has a Wine Taster class?”

“Right? That’s almost entirely a class for rich idiots who don’t do any work unless you actually work with wine.” They both looked over their shoulders to watch as the elf struck up another pose in front of one of the few actual students at the academy, who was watching him with undisguised disgust and anger. “Is he just stupid?”

“… Maybe?”

The walk to the training area again took longer than normal thanks to the crowd, what there was left of it, and the idiot’s continued pauses to pose for people. When they got there, Kay strode to the far end of the sparring arena, which was basically just an open area with boundaries marked on the ground, with several more scattered throughout the large room.

Kay stopped and turned around. After making a few more poses, the elven man eventually walked up to his position.

“Now, I understand that you want to save face, but it really is time for this charade to end!” The man proclaimed as he stretched one arm out towards the ceiling. He stared at his open palm like it he was Hamlet monologuing to a skull. “I am a true noble of the Concord, and it is time you turned your Noble Title over to me, so I can manage the expansion of this colony properly.” He finally looked at Kay with a wide smile on his face. “Just go ahead and reject the challenge, and we can move on.”

“… He actually is a total moron,” Eleniah muttered from her spot behind Kay.

Kay thought about trying to inform the man that they weren’t a colony of the Isermani Concord and that he wouldn’t be surrendering, but he knew that someone this stupid wouldn’t be listening to anything he actually tried to say. “This man,” He didn’t know the elf’s name and at this point wasn’t going to try and learn it, “has challenged me for my Noble Title.” He addressed the smaller crowd that ringed the training area. “If I lose, I lose my title. I’m not really sure if I get anything for winning, but The System said that rejecting the challenge is the same as losing it. As the challenged, I get to set the terms. We’re going to do it here and now, with the loser being the first person who surrenders or is made unable to fight. The only real stipulation is that hurting anyone who isn’t the other person in the duel will result in an immediate loss.” He turned back to the elf. “Do you have any questions?”

The elf looked affronted, probably because Kay wasn’t surrendering like he’d expected. “Not a question, no, but I am waiting for you to declare the standard list of disallowed skills and weapons.”

“There are none. Fight with whatever you want.”

“What!?” He drew himself up with an indignant huff through his nose, “This is an official duel! All standard rules for official duels laid down by the Concord apply!”

“No, they don’t,” Kay sighed, “This isn’t the Concord.” Before the man could start spouting more idiotic drivel, he waved a hand over his shoulder at Eleniah. “On your count.”

“Ready? Begin!”

“No, I’m not ready! What kind of-”

Kay flicked both hands forward and sent a barrage of blood at the elf, each piece hardened into solid spheres.

The elf yelped and threw himself to the side, scrambling to draw the longsword he had sheathed at his side. As he frantically pulled at it, Kay noticed that the man had never actually undone the ties that kept it in place.

Mentally shaking his head, Kay lamented the half-hour he’d wasted on this farce and sent a single sphere of blood into the elf’s head.

The idiot didn’t even see it coming, too focused on getting at his weapon. With a bonk! The basketball-sized sphere hit the man in the head, instantly knocking him unconscious.

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Challenger defeated!

You retain your title!

><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

Kay sighed at the notification. “Remind me to get Ahthia to start researching this stuff. I didn’t even know you could challenge people to duels over titles. I thought you just went and killed them and took it.”

“I did, too,” Eleniah told him with a frown. “That’s all my cousin ever had to deal with.”

“We’ll figure it out.” He turned to the crowd, “So we’re done here now, everyone go back to work or whatever. Also, if there are any healers, have someone treat this idiot!” He pointed at the unconscious elven man. “And someone grab a guard too!”

Eventually, a healer and a guard were located, and Kay had the unconscious moron checked out. Once they were sure he wasn’t going to die, he had him locked up. Without knowing exactly what was going on with challenges over his Noble Title, he didn’t want the one person he knew would challenge him running around by himself.

“Is there anything else I should deal with since I’m already over here?” Kay asked Eleniah.

“Not really, no.”

“Then I’m going to get back to work.”

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A little bit of a short one, but the next one is going to be longer, and this introduces a concept that will be important later