TTW 15: Bad News (Patreon)

Esmerelda awoke, finding Thomas had already left.

Wow, he had been passionate last night! She felt a little sore in places that didn't usually feel sore.

Groaning a bit, she sat up, and put her teeth in.

Somewhere below, he heard a clatter of dishes and plates. It sounded like Thomas was making something for breakfast.

Esmerelda clicked her fingers, and the geas switched her into a lovely green dress. She liked this one because the heels were a bit wider than the others.

She made the bed, then went downstairs. Thomas was a dirvish, fixing three steaks? And had what looked like an entire carton of eggs, along with pancake batter, bacon, and…was that beer?

"You are 'ungry' from our passion lazt night, no?" Esmerelda said, blushing. Her backside still hurt.

Thomas looked up at her, a bit of a frightened look on his face. "Uh, yah!"

Esmerelda put some tea on, and took out a nice infusion that would help her pain. She added a dollop of bitter root, some Elderberry, and a few sprigs of cloves into the teaball, then poured the steaming water over it into her cup.

Thomas made two plates, both with heaping helpings of steak, eggs, potatoes, bacon, ham, and pancakes. He set them down, and started eating before Esmerelda could pull her chair out.

He was acting odd.

Normally, Thomas would make her tea. Normally he was careful about serving size. And he always pulled her chair out for her, and would never start to eat before she was ready.

It was just, well, rude.

Frowning she looked at him as he wolfed down steak, eggs, potatoes, and more filling his mouth.

"You are not Thomas," Esmerelda said. "Where iz 'e?"

Thomas touched his nose, nodding, his mouth full. He grunted something, then swallowed, speaking.

"We got body swapped."

Esmerelda kept her composure, as this…cretin, continued to eat. Someone was in her husbands body and that someone needed to tell her just exactly what the fuck was going on.

"And who, are you?"

Thomas gave a wide smile. "Nope, not from me lady. I've been waiting AGES to get out. I'm gonna eat this breakfast, and then I'm on the next boat outta here for Seattle!"

From somewhere inside Esmerelda, she called on wind. Thin tendrils spun out from her hair, wrapping Thomas up in threads of air. He rose from the table immobile, and…well, apparently choking to death.

His face was red, and he tried to cough out the piece of meat he'd been eating but couldn't get a breath.

"Merde," Esmerelda said, in a soft voice, and spun the threads of air so he was on his front. Then she turned him upside down, and yanked him up and down, using a broom to swat his back until the food stuffed in his mouth came out and splattered all over the table and chairs.

Esmerelda lifted him up, upside down, immobile, until he was two inches from her angry face.

"You have three zecondz to tell me where my 'usband iz, or I will make you wish you were never born."

"Wood nymph!" Thomas said, finally after a few tendrils were used to slide up places he didn't like. "Joe the wood nymph. That's who I was!"

"Joe, Agatha's 'usband?"

Thomas, or Joe, nodded.

Esmerelda continued to hold Joe upside down in the air, but closed her eyes and entered psychic space.

I need you. She sent.

Coming, the answer came.

Fifteen minutes later, Agatha and four of the coven were at the house.

Esmerelda opened the door, and lead them into the dining room, where Thomas was still hanging upside down.

"Tell 'er who you are." Esmerelda said, between gritted teeth.

"Hey hon," Joe said. "It's me."

Stunned, Agatha took a step back. "What? Joe?"

Esmerelda nodded. "And tell 'er. What you planned to do."

"I didn't mean it!" Joe said.

Esmerelda used a thread of air again as a tentacle in an unseen place.

"EEK!" Joe said. "Alright, I was going to go! Take this body and go! But the boat doesn't leave until the quarter, and I was hungry and I haven't had steak in AGES!"

Agatha looked at Esmerelda. "How as this happened?"

"That waz my next question?"

Joe sighed. "Thomas went running last night, and it was the full moon. He picked up three Were's, two wolves and a bear from what I could see, and came tearing down into the main square. I plucked him from the ground and brought him into the Tree of Life, because we're friends!"

"Why was he running at night? Doesn't he know better? If it hadn't been the Were's it would have been the vamps!"

"He said you gave him Amethyst wine!" Joe said, nodding at Esmerelda. "He was quite, ah…randy, when he he was running. He even kissed me and wanted to—"

"I've heard enough," Agatha said.

Esmerelda eased Joe down onto a chair but kept his hands and legs wrapped in air.

"Wow, you've come a long way," Agatha said, smiling at Esmerelda.

"It waz a bit of instinct? I waz angry."

"Best teacher in the world."

"Amethyst wine, huh?" Agatha looked at Esmerelda. "Why did you let him drink it?"

"I did not!" Esmerelda said. "I showed 'im and he gulped it down like a cretin!"

Agatha squeezed the bridge of her nose. "Well, let's go down there and sort this out."

"I don't want to go back!" Joe said.

"Shush you, or I'll gag you myself.

Esmerelda got up and followed them out the door.

***

The group arrived at the Tree of Life.

"Come out, Thomas, we know what has happened," Agatha said.

From the trunk of the Tree, Thomas stepped out. Esmerelda sighed. She was so beautiful, with heavy breasts, toned legs, and lustrous hair. It was a bit unfair, all things considered.

"Hey," Thomas said to Esmerelda. "I was afraid you wouldn't figure it out."

"I figured eet out in lezz than three zeconds!" She shook her head. "Why did you leave zee 'ouse on a full moon?"

"I didn't know it was a full moon until it was too late," Thomas said, hanging her head.

"You should not leave zee 'ouse on any night, idio!"

"I know. But I was still—" she blushed. Esmerelda didn't know wood nymphs could blush. She turned a fetching shade of green.

"That iz becauze you drank zee Amethyzt wine! Idio!"

Thomas nodded her head.

"Well, regardless of how it happened, it HAS happened, and it presents us with a real pickle."

"Can't you just make another batch, and we'll drink it and swap back?" Thomas said.

Agatha shook her head. "I do see why you call him an idiot. Are all men idiots?"

"I sink zo?" Esmerelda said.

"So, Amethyst wine is an enhancer for psychic connection that is true. It also helps the ability to heal, sensitivity to energy, enhanced dreams, sobriety, and other properties."

They all nodded.

"In addition, a shift in consciousness is also possible. Which is what I think we are dealing with. However, recreating the exact event will be nearly impossible for one simple reason, dear."

They all waited expectantly. Thomas looked up. "What?"

Agatha sighed. "You can no longer drink, idiot."

Joe laughed long and hard.

"Merde," Esmerelda said.