Dearly Beloved - Chapter Thirty Five (Patreon)

The Dresden Files/Codex Alera is copyright Jim Butcher. This story is licensed under the Creative Commons as derivative, noncommercial fiction.

Chapter Thirty-Five

After a shower, I put on a fluffy white robe, made some coffee, and sat on the veranda smoking while looking out over Lake Michigan. I hadn't had time to process all the events over the past number of days, and it had taken its toll on my psyche.

The wind was brisk, but not cold enough for a jacket, and it invigorated me as I went through the events in my mind.

Maalshiira, Molly, my apprentice, stuck in the frozen castle that was Arctis Tor fighting an enemy of such untold malice and destruction my mind couldn't grasp. Gone was the headstrong girl who had captured my heart with her pranks, cleverness, and droll attitude. She was replaced by a fierce Sidhe Warrior, the Winter Lady, taking her true place at Mab's side. It brought tears to my eyes to think of what had been lost, but what had replaced it. I needed to get back in touch with her and see what problem she was having, but first, coffee must needs be consumed.

Susan, my former fiancée, the mother of my child. Turned into a monster, but fighting for her humanity amidst a time when humanity was at its most severe trial. She fought with grace and acuity, relentless in her pursuit of what is right and not giving in to the darkness inside her.

Murphy, my lover, partner, friend, confidant. The person I'd chosen to spend my life with, to stand side-by-side with, to love, cherish and honor above all others. She chose to reject her past life, to become born anew, to re-invent herself literally, and become a completely new person in mind, body, and spirit. I still loved and adored her bravery, but felt cheated out of life as her partner.

Harry, Harold, former Lara. Enduring such pain and agony at the hands of Mab, I could not imagine. Forced into a half-sidhe body to sidestep a future in the hands of demons. The catalyst of my own current situation. His disregard for the rules and selfishness to take a role that wasn't earned hit to the core of me. I wanted to erase him from the earth for taking what was so fundamentally mine…but did he? I still had the love of my daughter. I still had the love of Murphy, whatever form that might take. It had brought me closer to my brother than I ever had before. It had relieved me of the Winter Mantle with the constant worry about Mab and her designs. Secretly, I'd wished to be rid of the Mantle; had even attempted suicide to prevent becoming Mab's Monster. And now as the half-orc Winter Knight, Harold was closer to that reality than I ever had been.

The old Harry would have burned the world down to get back the person he loved. What did that say about me that I wasn't carrying a flame thrower? That oil slick feeling in my gut thinking about them together made me seethe, and my inner Demon slide over me. Where could a girl get a flame thrower anyway? Did they sell them at Home Depot? Better yet, was there someone I could find that could be a human flame-thrower and get Harold the fuck out of my house?

But the house really wasn't mine anymore. I sighed, rubbing my head with the palms of my hands. I wasn't me anymore; I was she, and I didn't know which direction to go to get back what I'd lost. Or if I could ever get it back.

The possessive part of me wanted Murphy and I to walk off together into the sunset, hand in hand. Yet, with the White Court curse, the 'hand in hand' part would burn like an oven set to 500 degrees. If you love something, set it free, Lara.

And myself. I couldn't call myself Harry any longer, that name had no association to me, whatsoever. The disconnection Maal performed was permanently successful. My life as Lara stretched before me with all its possibilities. I could continue as the CEO of Raith Industries or could pass it on. I could embrace my Vampiric needs, which were growing much stronger now that I thought about it, or I could research it. I could do what I'd always done and experiment, learn, absorb. I knew I had some magical abilities in the Tantric realms, perhaps that could be expanded, and I could at least become some kind of magic user again.

Strangely, it had been John Marcone who had seen through me. He hadn't let me sidestep, or deflect the feelings I'd had. He'd held me, and allowed me to feel the emotions I'd been neglecting for so long. And I'd liked it. Could it be possible that the one person who I'd stood against, my former enemy could be the one person who understood what I'd been going through the most? Marcone, and his green-dollar eyes.

I giggled. He'd know exactly where to get a flame-thrower. In fact, he probably had several in different flavors; personal, industrial, and let the world fucking burn.

The thought of his arms around me made me shiver.

***

Okay, I'm ready, and they're gone. I sent into the Otherverse.

Coming…Maal sent a short time later.

I heard and felt the ever-present sound of silent thunder, and Maal was there, looking resplendent in a navy dress suit, heels, and her ash blonde hair pulled back into a functional ponytail. Her slanted eyes regarded me, and she walked over for a hug.

I leaned down and hugged her tightly. "How are you, my darling?"

She sighed. "Oh, not very well, Lady." She held my hand as we sat on the outdoor couch.

Rain started to fall, a light mist, but the Penthouse had a nice overhang to provide protection. The moisture felt good, and I inhaled the clean Chicago air. Never thought I'd say that living in such a big city, but with the world shut down, the air had never smelled so good.

"What's happened?"

"Well, as thou knows, the Queen requires me to be an absolute servant to her in all things."

"Yes, but on your own terms, correct? I mean, that's how I was able to handle it when I was the Winter Knight."

"Yes, on my own terms…sorta."

"But?"

She sighed. "Apparently, she requires the use of my vessel."

"Your what now?"

She leaned into me, and I wrapped an arm around her. We'd sat like this as Harry and Molly; as Lara and Maal, it felt a bit different, but her soul tasted the same.

"Her battle against the Outsiders has taken a turn. She needs my abilities with illusions."

"But that's not an innate ability, that was simply how you used your magic. She knows this. Plus, isn't she like Godlike on the power scale? I mean, if she were a Boss in a video game, she'd be nearly unbeatable."

"I don't understand her intentions."

"Where would that leave you?" I said.

She sighed, looking up at me with those alien sidhe eyes. "In her vessel, I suppose, unless I desire to make some other arrangement."

I hugged her. "How do you feel about it?"

She shrugged. "The process has already begun, as thou can see. My body was created in imitation of her, and the mental adjustments she fashioned has also taken root. She desires us to be indistinguishable to others, and even I start to doubt my own reality!"

Maal put her hands over her face and sobbed.

"Oh, darling, you will always be you."

She looked up at me. "Will I?"

I nodded, stroking her hair. "Of course. They can do what they want to us, stick us in different places, but do you have any doubt I'm still who I was? Our 'name' makes little difference when we talk about the light cast by our souls and our heart."

"She's done such..horrible things, Lady. Thou cans't know. Vast annihilations of entire species, unfair treatment of animals, global catastrophes on a universal scale…"

"And think of all that power tempered with your lovely spirit and intellect," I said, booping her gently on the nose with my index finger. "I can't think of another individual I could trust with such a vast amount of power."

"She wishes to change the pattern of ascendancy, Lady."

I frowned. "What do you mean, darling?"

"I mean…in the past; the Ascendancy would require I assume the position of Queen and she assumes the position of Crone when Mother Winter passes on. She's trying to usurp the Pattern, by descending into my body and forcing the Ascendancy upon me!"

Struck, I sat back at that. "And you'd serve as Queen until—"

"Exactly, then she could re-assume the Regency when Mother Winter fades. We feel it will come in the next hundred years or so, and I would assume the position of Crone!"

Light dawned on me, and I shivered at that. Mab was brilliant, to say the least. I was surprised she hadn't tried such an option with Maeve, the Winter Lady before Molly, but I realized she never could because Maeve had been…well, a few hammers short of a basket.

"Is this why you fled to Arctis Meridi?" I said.

She nodded, wiping cerulean tears from alabaster cheeks.

"Well, you can do something about it, though, can't you? Refuse her?"

She glanced down at herself. "You can see how well that went, Lady. Each day, I feel more and more of myself slipping away."

I hugged her close and tight, not wanting anything bad to happen to her. She hugged me back, and I could hear her crying softly on my shoulder. We sat like that for awhile, and I felt a few tears slipping down my own cheeks.

"So, now that we have that out of our system. What do we do about it?" I said.

She shook her head. "I have naught."

"You can't fight her now, perhaps," I said, tapping my chin with a sculpted nail. "You might have to let the process continue, and when you have Ascended, you will have a nice window of opportunity with unfathomable cosmic power at your disposal."

"Will I still be enough of…my old self…to desire it?"

"I still have all the memories, wants, and desires of my old self."

She nodded, smiling. "But thou are't always The Wizard, Lady."

"Yes, and so are you, darling."

"Thou thinkest that my Wizard training would'st allow me to retain enough of my old identity to perhaps reverse the Ascendancy?"

"If anyone can do it, you can. She doesn't do anything without reason, however, so it might be good to allow her some time to accomplish what needs to be done."

"I guess I shan't allow myself to think selfishly. You are wise, Lady."

"What would the worst outcome be?"

She stared off into the middle distance. "I Ascend, and then am made into the Crone shortly after when Mother Winter fades."

"Does Mother still have buttloads of power?"

"Aye, Lady."

"More than you possess now?"

"She is ancient beyond ancient, Lady. I am but an eyeblink in terms of her Existence."

"But her Mantle passes to you, when, or if, she fades, correct? Assuming you were the Queen?"

"Aye, Lady."

"Enough power, say, to make a switch into the new Winter Lady at that time? Who would have no idea of her Mantle, abilities, or power?"

"That would cast Mab into the Mantle of the Crone."

"And by that time, you'd be able to either Ascend or remain as Winter Lady."

"Wouldn't that make me as evil as Mab?"

"I'm just saying if Mab wants to change the Ascendancy, two can play at that game. Plus, she was the one who established the precedent."

She nodded at that.

"What you're missing is…you're about to be handed unlimited cosmic power. She won't be able to overcome you without you desiring it. If Mother Winter fades while you're in power, you can determine your next steps. Perhaps you swing Mab over to the Crone at that junction point? Perhaps you descend back into your body? Perhaps you go watch a Cubs game and let the Cosmos burn."

She giggled.

"Point is, you'll be calling the shots. She's doing all she can to ensure you call them in her favor, but once you Ascend, you will be out of her control. If it were me, I'd do it as soon as possible. That way, you retain as much of the old you as you can."

She blinked. "I hadn't even considered that."

"Yes, darling. The longer you allow her to call the shots and craft you to her will, the more Mab you become and the less Molly."

"It is decided then," Maal said. "I shall Ascend."

Silent thunder clapped as Mab appeared suddenly beside her, resplendent also in a navy gown.

"Well, greetings, my Queen," I said, bowing to her.

They were starting to look eerily similar. Mab's hair was pulled back into a rather older style bun and appeared slightly taller though that could have been the shoes. Their hair was nearly the same color, and along with eyes, the only distinguishing factor was Mab's face appeared to be a well-kept older woman, while Mal had the fresh face of youth. They could definitely have been Mother and Daughter, however, which I guess, in many ways, they were.

"Greetings, Vampire." Mab glanced at Maal. "I'm sorry the Winter Lady is troubling thee, but I hoped perhaps thou could lend some insight."

"She had just started to tell me. You require her…vessel?"

Mab nodded. "The Others have taken on a new tactic; instead of physical intrusions into this plane of existence, they seek to break through in other areas. I believe it is called Virtual?"

Maal blinked. "Wait; what?"

"They have discovered the abundance of virtual environments within the realm of mankind and have made a push to invade through those portals. They also attempt to become microscopic entities and infect the sentient populations with a scourge the likes of which we've never seen."

That made me pause. "You're saying that COVID is due to the Others?"

"I'm saying I need access to the form of power your former apprentice had so I can better understand both battlefronts. With her knowledge and experience, I feel I can best prepare a defense while she assumes the defense of physical realms."

I looked at Maal.

She nodded. "Then, I accept the Ascendancy."

"Excellent child." Mab stood up. "We can perform it here. Stand up."

Maal started to tremble. I looked into her eyes and gave both her hands a squeeze. "It will be okay."

She nodded and stood. She looked so frail and tiny, standing along like that like a strong wind could push her over.

Mab stood beside her, closing her eyes.

The air became much cooler. The rain turned to sleet and then to snow, which was strange for late June, even in Chicago. I could hear horns honking, and sirens below as the storm flashed through the streets. Ice came down in sheets, then in blocks. Cars darted off the expressway, some intentional, others less so.

Lightning flashed from several directions at once, followed by an explosion of thunder. Fires caused by the strikes erupted on street level, followed by the cacophony of what sounded like every car alarm in a five-mile radius going off.

I hoped no one had gotten hurt.

Mab and Maal stood quietly; both had their heads upraised slightly, enveloped in a deep azure glow. They shook from the intensity of the power exchange, both auras flashing with brighter orange and yellow streaks.

A high pitched squeal surrounded us. A distant scream rose in intensity. My senses were completely overwhelmed, and I put my hands over my ears, trying to block it out. I could feel Raith tower swaying in the wind. The squeal rose higher and higher, along with the wind, ice, and lightning. With an immense BOOM, all the windows of the top floor of the tower exploded, with the next, and the next following suit with glass shards shattering and cascading downward.

Thomas came running out onto the balcony. He roared something in my ear, but I couldn't hear him over the maelstrom. Mab and Maal hovered several inches above the floor of the balcony, both arms outspread. Their eyes and mouths were open, and I could literally see the rushing of their spirit as it fled from one to the other. A torrent of wind and darkness flashing with silver as it rushed out of one and into the other.

They both howled as they shook from the power. Thomas and I were frozen in place, his arms around my shoulders as he had tried to get me into the shelter of the Penthouse. The madness increased even more, and I began to wonder if my own spirit would remain anchored in this swirling vortex of cosmic spirit.

And then it was over. They both fell to the floor, unconscious. I had tucked my head into Thomas's jacket as I clung to him.

"What the fuck was that?" he said, panting. I looked up into his silver eyes, knowing my own Demon looked back.

"The Ascendancy," I said. My voice sounded strange, muffled as if the very fabric of reality had been wounded.

Mab's eyes opened first. "Harry?"

I ran to her, helping her to her feet. "It's me, darling."

"Oh my god," she said, looking down at her arms and feeling the velvet of the dress around her chest. "I'm really her!"

"How do you feel, honey?"

She let me help her to the couch, staggering a bit. "It's so strange! I can finally think clearly for the first time in a long while!"

Maal's eyes opened next. Her head rose up, and she looked around, eyes blinking.

"Goodness, t'was an experience, I shan't forget," she said. "Apologies for thine glass, Vampire, we shalt make amends."

"Is that you, Mab?" I said.

"Yes, child."

"Oh my glob, this feels weird." Maal/Mab/Molly said.

"Thou has been released from thy gaes, child." Mab got up slowly to Maal's feet. "Thou should reinstate it promptly, else others might guess at our switch."

"I'll decide when and if I desire for that to be so," Maal said. "Afterall, I am now the Queen."

"Thou are't a child in a Queen's body. Best follow the advice of your betters—"

"Silence!" Molly said, and she waved Mab's hand over Maal's face.

Her mouth disappeared. It was as if it hadn't even been there. Maal's eyes goggled as she put her fingers to her mouth.

"Jesus, Harry. What have I done?"

"Taken your rightful place as Queen, I'd say."

Molly smiled. "It does seem that way, doesn't it?"

'Maal' still frantically clawed at her mouth.

"You shall address me by my station, child," Molly said. "Kneel to your Queen, and perhaps I shall grant you your voice back!"

Subdued, Mab knelt on one knee. She bowed her head.

Molly waved Mab's hand, and Maal's mouth was back.

"I pledge myself to thee, my Queen."

Molly…now Mab, held her ringed hand out to Maal, who kissed it solemnly.

Then she looked at us.

"Oh!" I said, taking a knee. It was a bit difficult considering the condition of what had once been my light and fluffy robe. "I pledge myself to thee, my Queen."

I kissed the ring on Mab's finger.

Thomas gave me a frown, but also followed suit and knelt.

"I pledge to assist thee in anything you might require," Thomas said, kissing Mab's ring.

Mab giggled, which was pure Molly. "You may all rise."

We stood as one in front of her.

"I feel like I should be assigning you all a quest!"

I looked around at the wreckage that was Raith tower. This was going to take ages, and a lot of money to fix. I sighed. "Perhaps the first quest might be the repair of my tower, my Queen?" I said, putting emphasis on the last word.

"Oh!" The new Mab said. She clapped her hands twice, then wiggled her fingers.

Glass floated up from various parts of the building and fell back in place. It was eerie, almost a reverse slow motion of what had happen. Glass threaded its way around us, falling back into position, as all the damage repaired itself. In a few moments, the tower was back to what it was.

"Thank you, my Queen."

"No worries, Harry. I got your back!"

I laughed at that as I took her hand, and we walked back inside.