Dearly Beloved Chapter Thirty-Three (Patreon)
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The Dresden Files/Codex Alera is copyright Jim Butcher. This story is licensed under the Creative Commons as derivative, noncommercial fiction.
Chapter Thirty-Three
After another excursion through the never-never, Harold finally got us back to Chicago. I paged our driver, and they picked us up a few minutes later. Thomas took a separate limousine since his vehicle was out where we summoned Toot-Toot, and I rode with Harold back to his home.
It was strange sitting across from him. He looked so different but similar enough he could say he'd been on a workout plan and been to a tanning salon. His hair was much darker than it had been previously, almost as dark as my midnight black hair. He'd glamoured his lower tusks away, so he appeared fully human, although a few shades darker than he'd originally appeared.
"So how have you been, Lara?" he said, in that voice that gave me shivers.
"Doing well. The company is good, Father is good, and Inari has been located."
"Oh? Where is she?"
"She's staying out of the family's sight, and we're allowing it for now."
"Probably a good course of action." He looked out into the night at the lights flickering past. "It has been so long since I've been home."
"Well, relatively speaking, it's only been a few days."
"It has been years for me." His voice broke, oddly. "You can't know…"
"Oh, I've been through it. Maybe not to the extent you just have, but believe me, I know."
He nodded. "Mab could run a TED talk. The Use of Ice in Modern Torture: A primer."
I giggled at that. "She can be creative."
"If I didn't understand the extent of how excruciating testicles can abused, I certainly do now."
I winced at that. Even though I'd been basically cemented as Lara, I could still remember what that felt like.
He sighed, watching the lights of the city pass by. "I honestly never thought I'd be allowed to return."
"I can't tell you how sorry I am for all this, Lara. It was an epic failure on my part. I see that now."
I shrugged. "Water under bridges, and all that."
"How is Murphy?"
"Mmm…well?" I rubbed the back of my neck. This was going to get awkward.
"She is still okay, isn't she?"
"Yes, don't worry about that. She's fine."
"Then what concerns you?"
"Oh…well, after you left, Murphy and I became close again."
"You know that you and she can never—"
"The true love curse, yes. And at first, that was the case, but then…"
"Then what?"
"Well, she wanted to forget completely she'd ever been Karrin Murphy. She enjoyed the persona you created for her so deeply; it's all she wanted to be."
"Oh, Lord."
"Yeah."
"You talked her out of it, didn't you?"
I rubbed the back of my neck again. "Well?"
"Tell me."
"So, I decided you weren't completely wrong doing what you did. It was who Murphy has desired to be for a very long time. She was never the popular girl, always the one who had to fight for every inch she ever got. It's why she was a damned good cop for so long."
"Yes, I wanted her to experience her sensuality."
"Exactly. So, I sort of allowed that to happen."
"Tell me you didn't erase Karrin completely."
"No, no. Nothing like that. But I put it into a 'box' I guess you could say, and I put it inside me. I'm the only one with a key. She can't access it unless I give her the box of her memories back."
He blinked at that.
"And she's…well. She's submitted to me."
"Pfft, she'll submit to anyone when she's in that state."
"Yeah, I think this is different."
He sighed. "While I appreciate what you've done, and respect the manner in which you've done it, I'd like to return her to who she had been. I've learned a LOT since then and had a lot of time to think about my actions, and what I did to her wasn't right."
"She is happy like this, though."
"I'm sure that's true. Regardless, I'd like to return her to normal in body, mind, and spirit."
"Wow, okay."
As we approached the house, we noticed cars lining the street, and the house had interior glimmering lights and music going again.
"Ugh, not again," I said.
He grinned. "She likes having parties."
"Right?"
"If you want, I can handle this, Lara."
"Feel free."
We got out of the car, and he stepped into the house. I heard him raise his voice several times, and then there was some kind of explosion. People began dashing from the doorway in droves. Cars pulled out as young kids yelled and hollered about some 'crazy guy' inside.
A few minutes later, everyone was gone. I went into the house.
Harold sat with Murphy in his lap. She was kissing him deeply, her hips pivoting up and down wearing short shorts and a tube top that left zero to the imagination.
"Well, isn't this a pretty picture," I said, smiling.
Karrie pulled away, then glanced back at me. "Mithtrethh!" She said, and climbed off of Harry, coming to me. She wrapped me in her arms.
"How are you, kitten?"
"Wonderful, Miss. Harry ith back!"
"I know. I went and got him."
"Oh!" she kissed me. "Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!"
"So, how should we do this?" I looked at Harold.
"You have the bulk of her memories. If you'd like, I can induce the trance, then you can take over and reintroduce them."
Karrie looked at us questioningly but stayed quiet.
I nodded. "Okay."
He stood up, and we all sat cross-legged in a circle.
"Karrie, look into my eyes," Harold said.
She did. I noticed another tattoo on her cheek but remained silent.
"I want you to take some deep breaths….in through your nose and out through your mouth."
"Okayy…" she said, those doe eyes of hers wide.
"Now, I want you to relax and GO DEEP."
Ahh, hypnotic trigger. I should have thought of that. Immediately, Karrie's head dropped, and her eyes closed.
"That's it, girl. Allow yourself to fall deep into a trance. So heavy, so deep. It feels so nice to fall so deeply.
I watched him guide her through the first levels. Then came my turn.
"Now, Lara is going to take over from here. You will listen to her voice as if it were mine. Do you understand?"
"Yeth."
"Good."
"Can you hear me, Karrie?" I said.
"Yeth Mith."
"Perfect. The other day, I took something from you. Do you remember?"
She frowned cutely. "Yeth."
"What was it?"
She frowned again, biting her lip. "My old memories."
"Yes. And what did I do?"
"Put them in a box."
"And what did I do to the box?"
"Locked it away."
"Yesss, we locked it away. Where did I put the box?"
The frown deepened. "Into you."
"Yes. Now, I'm going to get that box and give it back to you."
She moaned. "But I don't want the box."
"I know, but it's important to do what I say, isn't that right?"
"Yeth Mith."
I closed my eyes and focused. I found the box, and the key, and extended my mind deep into Karrie's. From there, I unlocked the box, and opened it, allowing all of the memories to come cascading out and reinserting themselves into her persona.
She moaned, sobbing. "I don't want this, I don't want this, I don't want this…"
"There," I said. I glanced up at Harold and nodded.
"Now," Harold said. "I'm going to count to ten. When I hit ten, you will awaken, and all the memories of Karrin will be back where they belong. You will remember the last few days as Karrie as well, but it will be integrated against the backdrop of Karrin. Do you understand, girl?"
Weeping, she nodded. "Yeth."
One…he started to count.
After he hit ten, Murphy opened her eyes.
She stood up quietly. Then went into the bathroom. I could hear her blowing her nose, and doing other things.
She came back into the living room and sat down in one of the chairs. She still had not said a word to either Harold or me.
"Are you okay?" Harold said.
She looked at him with such a miserable expression; I was a little shocked. "I take it, the fun is over now, and you're going to change me back?" She had taken out the tongue stud, and shed the piercings from her ears, nose, and lips.
"I just wanted to have a frank conversation with you."
She shrugged.
"What I did to you, and to Harry, was wrong. I stole his body, and because of the demons, she can't be put back. I can change your body back to how it was, if you'd like, or you can stay how you are."
She nodded.
"Do you have any questions?"
She sighed. "So, it's back to the old Murphy; the one everyone hated, the one who lived every day in pain, huh?"
"Everyone didn't hate you," I said. "I loved you. I love you."
"Yes, I know."
"I don't know what to say," she said. "Sure, put me back. I mean, why would I want to look like this anyway? I'm gorgeous; people want me. You know, I went to Marcone today like you said?"
"Oh?"
"Mhmm, and he gave me a job, just like that. I danced tonight at The Topiary. It was fun, and I liked it!"
She screamed the last part, and I winced. Harry also winced.
"So, now it's all over, huh? I suppose I should start looking for a job again? Go back to killing people, or maybe you want me to be your guard dog? Turn me into a dog like Mouse, and I can protect you?"
She had worked herself up into a good storm. And she didn't know who to be mad at.
"My whole life has been a fight—every single day. Even with you, here, Harry, we fought. Your depression, your anxiety. Want to know something?"
"Hm?"
"I like you better like that. Losing your cock has given you a new view on life. You're happier, can experience joy now. I see it in your face. We experienced joy last night on a level we never achieved when you were Harry. I like the new you, in fact, I love the new you even though I know you're basically a 'monster' with a pretty face."
"Well, I wouldn't say—"
"And you chose to allow me to be who I wanted to be, who I've always desired to be. Someone free to explore their sensuality, to be the person I'd always envied in others, and I was creating that person! But then the moment, he comes back, nope, it's back to old Karrin, so sorry, fuck you, and let's put you back the way you were to make me feel better!"
Harold and I looked at each other in shocked silence.
"This made YOU feel better. You took zero consideration for me, or what I might have wanted. I told you I wanted to completely forget the old Karrin. I wanted those memories erased, zeroed, negated, never to come back! And yet, here they are, twenty-four hours later, and I'm fucked."
"I couldn't just erase them. It would be like erasing myself. There were a lot of amazing memories of us."
She sighed. "I know. But can you see how important it was to me? I wouldn't have had any of those memories, all the magic, mayhem, supernatural monsters. I wouldn't have even known about you being a Vampire, or you being a…whatever you are now."
"Half-Orc," He said. "We should talk about this. I told Lara I wanted to restore you; it wasn't her fault."
She shrugged. "She could have said no."
Harold nodded. "Well, I shouldn't have changed you without your consent, and I definitely shouldn't have involved Demons. Both of you are how you are because of Demonic intervention, and I paid a heavy price. But I'm sorry, truly sorry, to both of you."
"Sorry," she said, looking at him. "Sorry. Now, you're sorry?"
"Yes. And I know to you it's only been a week or so, but to me, it's been, well…years. Years and years."
"Honestly? I don't give a fuck. I don't care. I don't want to care. What I want is to be who I was, who I am, live this new life I've been living. I'm sick and fucking tired of being Karrin Murphy, ex-detective, strong, fierce, and small. I just want to be Karrie, like I was. Simple, happy, gorgeous, sensual, and submissive. Is that too much to ask?"
"Karrin, it isn't you," I said.
She lifted up a breast. Her nipple had been pierced and a golden ring glinted in the light from the overhead lamp. "And this is?"
Both of us hung our heads.
"If you love me, at all, you will destroy all those memories you took last night and gave back to me. For good. For always. Will you do that?"
"But—"
"Lara, so help me fucking god, if you don't do it, I will never speak to you again."
I thought about our past together, the ups, the downs. The battles, the raids. She'd saved my life uncountable times. I'd saved hers as well. We'd been partners so long, lovers for the last few years, but always so close, so tight.
I looked over at Dresden. We all had new lives, though at least I could remember being him. It felt like a different person, but I remembered.
"Let's sleep on it. I'm not going to just agree and rush into something irrevocable."
She snorted. "Like those tits on your chest aren't irrevocable?"
"Well, I do hope to someday reverse all this," I said. "If I can just untangle it all."
She bit her lip, shaking her head. "Both of you get out. I don't want to see either of you right now."
"Karrin!" Harry said, pain in his voice. "I've missed you for years!"
"What part of 'I don't give a fuck.' Do you not understand?"
I got up and took Harry's hand. "Let's give her some space, man."
He looked bereft but nodded following me out.
***
Malcolm drove us to my penthouse. I smoked quietly as Harry fumed in the seat beside me, staring into the darkness.
"It just isn't fair," he said.
"What's not fair, darling?"
He clenched his jaw. His heavy half-org fists clenched and unclenched. He seethed with rage, and I knew it wasn't his human half. The orc in him was coming out a bit.
"She's mine." He said, the glamour dropping and his lower tusks fading into view. "I mean, not mine, mine. But you know what I mean."
I sighed and puffed on my cigarette. "I think that orc metabolism is affecting your brain, dear. Murphy isn't anyone's as you well know."
"It's been so long since I've seen her. And the minute I do, she does that."
"You know it's nothing personal, darling. She's angry and upset at what happened to her and had reconciled with her new life. Now that's been taken away. I'm sure in the morning she'll listen to reason again."
"Not fair!" He started to pound his head against the glass of the limo.
"Careful, Harry. You'll damage my car."
"My car, you mean." His voice sounded gruff, guttural. "I bought this. If I want to damage it, there's nothing you can do about it!"
He hammered his head hard against the glass, and spiderwebs appeared from the impact.
I sighed, smoking some more.
"What we do now."
I shrugged. "To the penthouse, I suppose. You can sleep there and return in the morning."
He didn't respond, simply stared at the window, his jaw hanging open a bit. Drool slipped from his lip, and he slurped.
"So do you change every evening? Or is it because your angry."
He glared at me. "Don't know!"
"Okay, Hulk Smash."
He sniffed then, long and deep. "You smell good!"
"Yeah," I looked at him, suddenly feeling a bit edgy. "Thanks."
His face had changed, broadened, the nose flattening. He grew as well, swelling in bulk and height. I just hoped we reached the penthouse before he took me as a tasty morsel.
Pulling out my phone, I texted Thomas.
Meet us in the foyer. Bring my gear.
A few moments later, he texted back.
Gear?
My gear, yes. The Black Bag.
Oh! Are you sure you really want that?
Yes.
Will do.
Harry started grunting shortly after. His body had swollen, and grown to the point he could hardly be contained by the limousine seat. His brow hung over his eyes, which had taken on an animalistic sheen. His nose had flattened, and his ears had grown, sliding up his skull into twin points.
A few moments later, we pulled up to the foyer.
"Malcolm darling, would you be so kind as to help Mr. Dresden out of his seat? He has apparently suffered some malady."
"Yes, Miss Raith."
I jumped out of the car. Thomas waited for me at the door, the black Gladstone bag in his hand. I darted to him, plucked out the handcuffs, then dashed around to the other side of the car.
Harry's head poked out, and he unfolded himself. His eyes glowed a deep red, and he roared at me, inhaling deeply. I pulled one of his enormous wrists back behind him, then slapped a pair of onyx titanium cuffs around the left, and then the right wrist.
Confused, he looked at me. "What is this?" he said, his voice a guttural rasp.
"I'm not sure what has happened to you, darling, but I'm not about to let you rampage through my building unconfined. Now, be a good boy and let's go inside.
He struggled against the shackles, but I was able to lead him inside. Thomas opened the door for us, a quizzical look on his face. I shook my head.
"Penthouse, Miss?" Jerry asked as he stood in front of the elevator door.
I shook my head. "Take us down, Jerry."
Thomas chuckled softly as the three of us got into the elevator.
"Must have been some night," he said.
"You have no idea," I said as we began our descent.