Chapter 29: What Doesn’t Kill You Kills the Bushes (Patreon)

Today, I had seven people I moved from yesterday and an additional patient. All of them had minor issues; I took care of them in less than an hour and earned another gold, two silver, and a small basket of apples. They even looked like regular apples. The innkeeper asked me what to do with the poultry and grains, and I told him to keep them; I had no use for them. In exchange, he told me I had two free days, including a room, board, and bath. That was very nice of him. I expected a meal or two, but the duck and the kikidas—that’s what those demi-chickens were called—were all laying females, so he was delighted.

For the rest of the day, I took out my bicycle, rode out of town with Stretch, played with him a little, and let him explore. Then, I sat down to regenerate. I checked my mana and had to do a double take; it was 1100/4500.

When did I get the extra 300? Maybe because I used a lot of it?

No, it made little sense. The previous time it went up, I didn’t use it at all, and it jumped up 1200 points.

I NEED AN INSTRUCTION MANUAL! THIS DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE!!

This time, I wasn’t “rebuked.” Thank God for small mercies.

By nightfall, my mana was 2860/4500, and I wasn’t tired, so I continued to regenerate. I remembered that before I met Domenica and Aurustine; I was also regenerating and not feeling tired when I should have. So, regenerating or breathing in mana staves off tiredness?

I’ll need to experiment.

Stretch came back at some point and demanded food and water. I fed us both, and we slept for a few hours till dawn. We returned to town and had breakfast at the inn. I went to the carpenter to collect my operating table and partitions and asked the innkeeper if he had an empty room without a bed. He did, so I took it for the day and told him to send the first patient in when they arrived.

The boy with the deviated nasal septum was the first to arrive, clutching his mother’s hand. His father followed close behind, looking both hopeful and anxious. They approached me, and his mother hesitantly asked, “Is it alright if we stay in the room with him while you heal him?” Her voice quivered slightly, betraying her nerves.

“Of course,” I replied with a reassuring smile. “You can stay by his side the entire time.” I led them into the room, which was clean and brightly lit, and gestured for the boy to lie down on the operating table.

The boy climbed up, his small body trembling a bit, but he put on a brave face. “This won’t hurt, right?” he asked, looking up at me with wide eyes.

I knelt down to his level and gave him a gentle smile. “You won’t feel a thing. I’m going to do something that will make you sleep, and when you wake up, your breathing will be much better.”

He nodded, and I placed my hands on either side of his head, channeling Anesthesia. His eyes slowly closed, and his body relaxed into a deep sleep. “He’s asleep now,” I told his parents, who were watching anxiously from the corner of the room.

With steady hands, I made the incisions, carefully cutting and removing the deviated parts of the septum. Then I meticulously reinserted the pieces into their proper positions. As I worked, I explained the process to his parents in a calm, even tone. “I’m just repositioning the septum now. This will help him breathe much more easily.”

His father nodded, looking a bit more reassured. “Will he have any scars?” he asked, his voice tense.

“None that will be visible,” I replied. “I’m using magic to heal the cuts as I go.” I completed the adjustments and channeled healing energy into the boy, closing the incisions seamlessly. The whole procedure took less than half an hour.

I gently roused him from the anesthesia, and he woke up slowly, blinking in confusion. “It’s all done,” I said softly, helping him sit up. “How do you feel?”

The boy rubbed his nose and took a deep breath. “It feels...different. Better, I think.”

His mother rushed forward, hugging him tightly. “I made sure he slept well and ate extra before we came,” she said, her voice filled with relief and pride.

“Good to know that it helps,” I replied with a nod. They handed me two gold coins, but I shook my head and handed one back. “It was a quick and easy procedure. No need to overcharge.”

“Thank you so much,” his father said, his voice thick with gratitude. “You’ve done more for us than we can ever repay.”

I smiled and placed a hand on the boy’s shoulder, casting Fortify Life Force to give him a little extra boost. “Take care of yourself, young man. You’ll be just fine.”

As they left, I turned back to the room, cleaning and purifying everything meticulously. The space was ready for the next patient. Mana 3680/4500.

By the time I was done, the other two patients had arrived. I took the lady first, as her procedure was quicker.

“Please follow me,” I said, leading her to the treatment room. She walked in, looking slightly nervous but determined.

“Alright, I’m going to need you to undress and lie down on the table,” I instructed, giving her a reassuring smile. She nodded, her hands trembling slightly as she complied.

Once she was ready, I channeled Anesthesia. “This will help you sleep,” I explained, placing my hands gently on her temples. Her eyes fluttered closed, and her breathing evened out.

I made the initial incision with precision, cutting her abdomen open. “Now comes the tricky part,” I muttered to myself, grabbing the blood and beginning the diagnosis process. My hands glowed faintly as I channeled the spell, searching for the first scar tissue.

“There you are,” I whispered, locating the damaged area. With steady hands, I cut off the scar tissue and healed the place with a gentle pulse of magic. “One down, six to go,” I murmured, repeating the process. Each time, I carefully removed the scar tissue and healed the incision, ensuring there were no complications.

After removing and healing the seventh scar, I diagnosed her again. “Let’s make sure everything’s fine,” I said, the spell revealing a clean bill of health. I released the Anesthesia, and she slowly woke up.

“It’s all done,” I said softly, helping her sit up. She looked around, slightly dazed. “How do you feel?”

“A bit tired,” she replied, her voice weak but steady. “But okay.”

I nodded. “Did you manage to eat and sleep extra before coming here?”

“Yes, I did,” she assured me, managing a small smile. “But I still feel tired.”

“That’s normal,” I said. It seemed the boy’s extra energy was because of his youth and resilience, not some magical solution.

She handed me two gold coins. “Thank you,” she said, her gratitude clear in her eyes.

“You’re welcome,” I replied, accepting the payment this time. “Take care of yourself, and if you need anything, don’t hesitate to come back.”

As she left, I cleaned and purified everything meticulously, preparing for the next patient. Mana 2800/4500.

The gentleman walked in, looking slightly apprehensive. “Hello,” I greeted him, offering a comforting smile. “Please, have a seat.”

He sat down, fidgeting nervously. “This won’t take long, right?” he asked.

“It will take a bit of time, but you’ll be much better after,” I assured him. “I need you to take off your pants and lie down on the table.”

He complied, lying down with a deep breath. I channeled the Anesthesia, watching as his body relaxed into a deep sleep. “Alright, let’s get started,” I murmured, making the first incision and beginning the delicate process of re-breaking and healing the bone.

“This part is always tricky,” I muttered, focusing intently on my task. I worked meticulously, ensuring that I set the bone correctly and healed it. As I continued, I diagnosed him, noticing some muscle damage and scar tissue. “Let’s take care of that too,” I said to myself, cutting away the scar tissue and healing the muscles.

I cast three Fortify Life Force spells to help his body cope with the demanding procedure. “That should give you a good boost,” I noted, finishing up and waking him from the Anesthesia.

He blinked awake, looking around in confusion. “It’s done?” he asked, sitting up slowly.

“Yes, it’s done,” I confirmed, helping him to his feet. “How do you feel?”

“A bit tired and hungry,” he admitted. “But I followed your instructions about food and rest.”

“Good,” I said. “The tiredness will pass.” He didn’t experience as much exhaustion as most people who undergo a serious procedure. The food and rest helped, just not as much as with the boy.

He handed me five gold coins, his eyes shining with gratitude. “Thank you. I’ve been in pain for years after a cart wheel drove over my leg.”

“I’m glad I could help,” I replied, trying to return two gold coins, but he shook his head firmly.

“No, keep it. You’ve done more than enough,” he insisted.

Mana 1760/4500. I had finished for the day, feeling a sense of satisfaction as I left, knowing that I had made a significant difference in their lives.

After he left, I checked my blinking light.

Level up

+3 intelligence, +3 wisdom, +2 vitality, +3 free points

Class: Healer Level 10

Stat points: 9

I thought about it last night and added the stats to Constitution. I also remembered something about getting new spells.

Oh, right! That’s where Fortify Life Force came from, level five.

I checked the healer spell list:

______________ 

• Heal Muscle - 14

• Diagnose - 10

• Stop Bleeding - 3

• Heal Bone - 7

• Control Blood - 11

• Healing Touch - 20

• Neutralize Poison - 1

• Purify - 9

• Clean - 13

• Anesthesia - 7

• Regrow Flesh - 1

• Fortify Life Force - 5

• Cleanse

______________

I checked the cleanse description:

Cleanse

Cleanse is a versatile spell designed to purge impurities, toxins, and harmful substances from an entity or an object. By systematically eliminating contaminants, Cleanse ensures that it purifies the target.

There are two ways to cast it:

• As a cast spell: When you cast Cleanse in this manner, it affects the specific area on which you direct it. This method is ideal for targeting localized impurities or contamination on surfaces or within a confined space.

• As a channeled spell: You can also channel Cleanse, enabling it to clean harmful substances from an organism in stages. The longer the channeling, the deeper the Cleanse penetrates, reaching and purging more profound levels of toxins and impurities. By repeating this method multiple times, you can achieve a thorough purification. A deep Cleanse of the organism removes all adverse effects and diseases resulting from harmful substances, leading to a state of complete internal cleanliness and health.

Not bad, not bad at all.

The description mentioned an object, so I checked something. Some considered food coloring harmful, so I took out a donut with a pink glaze and cast Cleanse on it.

Ugh, I eat that?

There was an oily, disgusting blob on top of my donut that smelled like burnt oil and some other nasty stuff. At least it looked cheerful; all the pink color from the glaze was in the oily blob. The donut looked a bit shriveled.

I think I’ll take a break from donuts for a while.

Taking an extra day in town, I relaxed and regenerated before continuing my journey. To learn how to remove pelts correctly, I still needed to find a hunter or a tanner. I bid the innkeeper and his family goodbye and gave him a silver as thanks for serving as the town’s clinic. Took out my bike, connected the trailer, Stretch hopped in, and we were on our way.

After riding for about six hours, we stopped for lunch. After eating, Stretch ran away to explore, and I decided he had the right idea. Moving fast on the bike was nice, but I loved the beautiful wilderness. I checked the map and saw that the road curved around the mountains at some point, and the next town was on the other side of the mountains. I stored the bike, called for Stretch, and set out on foot.

We walked the whole day, enjoying the quiet. In the evening, I set up camp in a lovely meadow with tall grass and got an idea. I checked my mana, and it was full. I had been breathing it in all day. Starting with lying on my back, I placed my hand on my head and channeled the Cleanse spell. Initially, I took it slow just in case, but once I didn’t feel any adverse effects, I ramped up the channeling intensity. I felt the mana enter my body and get “absorbed,” but felt nothing else. I continued until I felt the lightheadedness that signifies low mana. Mana 80/4500. I stopped and just lay there, waiting for something to happen.

After a few minutes, I felt like my whole body was cramping slightly. It wasn’t painful, just unpleasant, and I started feeling thirsty. I drank a bottle of water, but it wasn’t enough. Only after drinking five bottles of water, I stopped feeling parched.

Now what?

I just lay there. I could feel that something was happening in my body—all over my body—but when I tried to diagnose myself, I felt resistance. It felt like the spell couldn’t pass through the mana that saturated my body, and I sensed that my body was indeed saturated. After another five minutes, my stomach and intestines started gurgling ominously. I ran to the bushes and expelled A LOT of filth from my body.

Ugh!

It smelled awful. Stretch ran as far away as he could. I started breaking camp fast to get away from the stench. After we walked away for fifteen minutes, I felt parched again. I took out more water and drank it.

The gurgling started again.

Seriously? Again?

I ran to another bush and expelled more yuck.

This is getting ridiculous.

Thirsty again.

More water.

Please let this end soon.

Visit a bush.

Run away from the stench.

How can it be this bad?

More water.

Not again.

Bush.

Run away.

I hope Stretch hasn’t abandoned me.

Thirsty.

Why does this keep happening?

Bush.

I’m starting to hate bushes.

Run away.

This is never-ending.

Water.

I don’t know how much more I can take.

Another bush. My bones hurt—like I was experiencing growing pains again.

This can’t be good.

More water.

Please make it stop.

A poor bush.

I really feel bad for these bushes.

This time, I also threw up.

They say variety is good for you.

I ran far, far away—I couldn’t see Stretch anymore; I thought he gave up on me.

Can’t blame him.

More water.

How much longer can this go on?

Another bush painted from both ends.

This is beyond disgusting.

Run further away.

I hope this is the last time.

Parched again. More water.

Another bush.

This is never going to end.

Run away.

I think Stretch has officially disowned me.

Thirsty.

Please, just let this stop.

More water.

Bush.

Run away.

This is absolute torture.

More water.

Another poor bush.

How much more can my body take?

Run further away.

Bush.

More water.

This has to end.

Another bush.

I’m going to need so much therapy after this.

Run away.

More water.

Another bush.

I’m so over this.

I felt parched and feared I would run out of toilet paper if this continued.

Please, no more.

I drank another four bottles of water and waited for the gurgling, but it didn’t come. I was walking and holding my pants with one hand; they kept falling off me. I lifted my shirt and looked at myself; I looked like a POW camp survivor, not just emaciated but made of skin and bones with nothing in between.

Another mild gurgle, another poor bush, more water, but now I was also starving and felt like I might faint from hunger.

Just in case the wind changed direction, I walked for another five minutes, but then I couldn’t walk anymore. My body demanded food NOW! I felt like my body was stomping its foot and shouting FOOD! FOOD! FOOD!

Once I determined I was far enough, I sat down and began eating. Considering my condition, takeaway was the only option for me, as I couldn’t cook. I ate for over an hour, just one takeaway box after another. After eating three to four weeks of food, I slowed down with the food, but was thirsty again—seven bottles of water. Ahh, I was feeling human again.

This is so nice.

More gurgling.

Oh, come on! Not again!

Another poor bush.

Run away.

I need to escape this nightmare.

Hungry again.

How can I still be hungry?

More food. My stomach felt like a bottomless pit.

Water.

Another bush.

I can’t believe I still have more to expel.

Run away.

Just keep moving.

More water.

Please let this be the end.

So far, so good.

Maybe it’s finally over.

No gurgling.

Thank heavens.

I ate another week’s supply of food and drank more water—no gurgling, and my body was filling out like it was building its flesh layers. I fell on my back and just lay there, exhausted. That was a nasty and smelly experience. I lay on my back, looking at the big moon, breathing in mana, and recuperating.

I felt an intense cramp in my abdomen.

Not again!

But it subsided, and I felt a refreshing and invigorating wave pass through my body.

Does it mean that this is over?

I woke up from the “tongue alarm,” pushed Stretch away, and saw it was sunset.

Did I sleep the whole day?

I didn’t remember falling asleep.

How did I sleep with the sun high in the sky in my face?

When I inspected my body, it felt great. I diagnosed my body, and it was even better. I thought I was healthy before, but I was wrong; NOW I was healthy. I checked my mana 1390/6300.

What the hell?

I shouted at the sky, “You can be angry with me as much as you like; I don’t care. How does any of this make sense? I healed a ton of people and nothing. But I had the shits for half a night, lost all my body weight, and I got mana? Where is the logic? Or are you just enjoying seeing us flounder, and it’s all arbitrary? THIS IS DRIVING ME CRAZY!!”

I didn’t get a reply or any kind of reaction.

Figures.

I set up camp, started a fire, took out pots and pans, and started cooking. During the last day, I seriously depleted my ready food supplies.

Stretch finally came back, looking at me with a mix of curiosity and reproach. “Sorry, buddy, rough night,” I said, patting his head. He seemed to forgive me once I handed him some food.