( tw pet death ) (Patreon)

My sweet girl passed away yesterday. She was 19 and put up a long, hard fight. I'm going to miss you every day of my life, little baby. Thank you for spending your life with me.

I felt weird putting this on patreon because I wanted to keep this as like a silly smut space and didn't want to upset people who weren't prepared to see it, but I wanted everyone to know I'm gonna be pretty fucked up for a bit. I owe you all a lot. You've been so patient with me.

I've felt... angry, at my art, for awhile. Part of it is dissatisfaction, like I feel like everything I draw, I could have done it better, if I was just a better artist. Part of it is anger that I'm drawing silly stuff that doesn't reflect what I'm feeling, because I've been feeling a lot, for a while. She's been with me since she was a kitten, for almost 20 years she has been with me, laying next to me on the couch while I draw, bumping against my feet at my desk. All these little things scattered through my house, all the extra ways we tried to make her comfortable and happy. The last few years of her life have been so hard. I knew it was coming, and it's been so hard. 

But I love silly shit! I love drawing silly shit! I don't want to be angry, I want to make fun stuff that makes people happy. I'm going to see a piece of art sometime soon that makes me smile again, and I want to do that for other people. I want to get back to that place. I'm going to.