Edit to the Chapter 3.12 (Patreon)

I wasn't entirely happy with one of the scenes in chapter 12, so I went back to flesh it out. I'll edit that entry, but also wanted to share it here to make it easier to find and read.

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“Inleio’s death was not your fault,” I said.

"I should’ve put Borba down like you’d suggested, but I didn’t.” Mumu shook her head in dismay. “He was so useful, though, and Kesa and Inleio both believed we should keep him until the Long Dark. They are the village’s wisdom. How could I disregard their guidance?”

Tears slipped from her eyes, and fell onto her hands. The moment might’ve been the first time she’d been forced to stop since the murder, the first time she’d had to face her grief without distraction.

I got up on mostly steady feet, and hugged her. “I’m so sorry,” I said, and that was all I could say. The feeling of love-affection-sympathy was bigger than anything else the forced truth-telling could pull out of me.

After a while like that, I felt Mumu sigh. “We grew up poor,” she said into my shoulder. “When my father died of a bad heart, we had to borrow a cart to take him to his funeral. I was four then, and still remember how it jostled. The light went to my mother, but it was meager and did little good. When the Long Dark came, she and the rest of the family nearly died. It was Inleio who saved us from the rampaging beasts. Oh, you should’ve seen him, Little Pot; he was at the height of his prowess then.”

“I would’ve liked that,” I said.

“Mmm. He was something special, even the lodge masters from the other villagers thought so; they often visited to consult with him. And they congratulated him when I turned five and was found to be Scout-Born. Then they did so again when we learned that I could use both qi and mana magic. ‘A good seed,’ they’d said, and, even as young as I was, I could see the envy in their eyes.”

“What happened then?” I asked.

“I joined the lodge.”

“At five-years old?”

“Yes. We didn’t have the money for the initiation, so Inleio arranged to have it waived, and he made sure I earned at least an apprentice’s share of any bounties I participated in. That money was a gift from the gods to my family. More importantly, Inleio taught me what it meant to be a hunter, the importance of what we do on behalf of the village and the people within it. And now he’s gone.”

“He’s not, and you know it,” I said.

“We are not like you, Little Pot. We can’t all see the dead.”

“That’s not what I meant,” I said, and then paused to think about how Yuki and I had responded to Inleio’s death. “When I look deeply into who I’ve become since I joined the lodge, Inleio is there. He’s in what I know and how I know it. Yes, the World Spirit taught me how to hold the spear, but it was Inleio’s wisdom polished that knowledge. And I’ve only been in Voorhei for half a year! How much of Inleio is in you, you who’ve known him almost all your life.”

I started to pat her back, like she’d patted mine earlier. “The dead never leave us, not truly. The air they once breathed, still circulates. The words they’d once said, vibrates outward continuously. The things they’d done and said live on in the memories of those around them, impacting the generations that follow. That may not feel like much consolation right now, but just hold on... even the most grievous wounds can heal if you let them.”

“I am showing you my weakness,” Mumu muttered.

“Now that’s nonsense,” I said into her shoulder, not letting go. “Grief’s normal and good. People need it to clean their emotional wounds. Without it, their minds and spirits distort, bending them towards unhealthy habits.” I paused to let the words sink in, then said, “There’s a saying where I’m from that ‘hurt people hurt people.’ I’ve found it to be true. Also true is that I’ve found you to be one of the fiercest, most generous, talented, hardworking, enthusiastic, clever, vibrant people I’ve met in this life. You try so hard, and while that’s sometimes not enough in life, the continuing to do so will push-pull you along until things get better.”

I felt her small smile against my cheek. “Our Eight, you know that I am already engaged to Haol and Dena. You cannot steal me from them, no matter how sweet your words.”

“And they’re damn lucky to have you,” I said, “but you need to treat them better. You need to treat yourself better. Running off like you did was damn foolishness, and you know it. Not to mention what happened with the cutter hawks.”

The smile faded, which was sad, but the words had to be said.

“So you told me already.” Mumu sighed, and I felt her turn her head away.

“We’re stronger together,” I said.

“A truth,” she said.

“And our Mumu will find a way forward. She’s the cleverest hunter in our lodge. Next to me, of course.”

"You little devil, do you really believe that?”

There was a feeling, like I’d been wearing an invisible rope that suddenly fell away from neck. A quick look at my Status showed that the Forced part of the Truth-Telling condition was now gone.

I grinned, and whispered into Mumu’s ear, “I don’t have to answer that.”