Greg Vs: Unpublished Chapter (Apocrypha) (Patreon)

This chapter was written before Sparky was ever properly introduced into the story. This was supposed to be how Sparky originally found out.

Greg leaned back against the couch, controller falling to the side of him as he lifted his arms up and over his head. Mouth open in a languid yawn, he glanced over to the right of him to catch his best – and only – friend in the whole wide world did much the same thing.

Raising one hand over his open mouth in some attempt at politeness, Greg leaned forward and sprung himself up from his couch. His arms extended out at his sides in another stretching motion, he looked down at Sparky’s relaxed form and felt a frown crossing his face.

The blond looked back off to the side, the transitioning screen of the fighting game catching his attention for a moment before looking back at his friend. I gotta tell him. If it’s anybody, it’s gotta be him.

Flopping back onto the plush couch, he turned his gaze back over to where his friend sat and frowned slightly before opening his mouth again. “Hey, Sparky…”

“Yea, brah?” He didn’t even bother looking up as he responded, flicking through various colorful characters with his hands on the controller. “What you need?”

“I’ve been meaning to tell you something.”

“Hit me.”

Greg took in a deep breath and let it out in one long slow motion. “Well, I’ve got powers…”

Sparky’s fingers stilled on the controllers, Greg not even noticing as he continued with his declaration – a smile on his face as he did so. “And I’ve been going out as a superhero. I’m not sure of a name yet but I’m thinking of calling myself Hax or Cheat Code, but I’m still iffy on those, you know. We’ll workshop it, probably.”

The blond let out a little laugh, sitting up a little more as he kicked his feet. “Either way, I’m sure it’s gonna be super easy. You wanna help me out? Be my Guy In The Chair?”

With that offer made, Greg shot Sparky an expectant look, the smile on his face wide and earnest as he waited for his friend’s response. After a few seconds of waiting, Greg felt his smile begin to fade as Sparky didn’t yet turn to face him, gaze focused on the character selection screen still on the television.

“Spark-”

“Greg?” Sparky interrupted his friend, voice oddly cool as he turned his eyes up to the ceiling.

“Y-”

“Greg,” Sparky interjected again, cutting Greg off before he could begin to speak again. The long-haired teen brought his gaze down, turning slowly to face his friend with a somewhat dim expression on his face. “Greg, hear the words that I say to you.”

The blond swallowed a mouthful of saliva, mouth suddenly feeling oddly dry.

“Your superhero career will fail.”

Greg blinked, snapping out of his slight trance, a confused smile on his face. “W-what?” He spluttered out, laughing off Sparky’s words with a wave of his hand. “Hey, fuck you man,” he continued playfully, nudging his best friend with his elbow.

“No, Greg…” Sparky’s expression didn’t change, though, his expression growing dimmer as he almost seemed to glower at his friend. “Fuck you. Fuck you for thinking that this city needs another stupid teenage superhero who’s just gonna fuck things up and get himself killed. And that people you know would let you do it.”

His expression relaxed somewhat, the olive-skinned teen shaking his head in clear exasperation. “Just give it up. It's a bad idea and a waste of time.”

“B-b-but It's not a bad idea,” Greg shot back, folding his arms over his chest. His mouth remained open, half in shock and half in sincere offense at his friend’s quick dismissal. “It’s a… It’s a good use of my powers and a… and a… a creative outlet,” the last few words fell from his mouth almost too fast, as if Greg wasn’t sure of what he himself was saying.

“A creative outlet.” Axel Ramon raised an eyebrow, clearly unmoved by Greg’s reasoning. “Is that what you call night after night of going without sleep to run around a whole city looking for the few petty criminals that could be handled by a cop with a baton or something?”

Greg frowned, digging in his heels further before responding with a petulant-sounding, “Yeah, why not?”

Sparky shook his head again. “Do you think you’re special, brah? For thinking to run around the city in tights and a cape?” A sigh left his mouth as he continued speaking, cutting off Greg’s attempt to reply as he said, “You’re you, so of course you did. It probably felt nice when you realized there was something you could do with your powers; societally-approved violence against criminals that are no match for your superhuman abilities, right? A way for you to show off and get famous, too?”

Tellingly enough, Greg didn’t respond further, a childish pout making its home on his face.

Sparky leaned forward, hand falling on Greg’s shoulder as he gave it a squeeze. “This has been done a million times, Grant. It's a bad idea, and your career will fail.”

“Who cares?” Greg said with a look and tone that he very much did. “It's just for fun, anyway.”

Sparky found himself tiring as another sigh left him, a hand dragging down his face. “It's not fun for me. It's not fun for anyone, G-Man. You think some single mom stuck in a crumpled car on the side of the road wants to have the life of her and her kids in the hands of some kid whose voice hasn’t even really dropped?”

“Alright, that’s just hurt-”

A raised hand quieted Greg before he could say anything further, Sparky patting his friend on the shoulder with the other one. “Wh – What would you say is the value of it, huh? What is the value of the whole superhero thing?”

Greg slouched back on the couch armrest, arms falling away from his chest as he began to speak. “I think it would be fun to go out into the city, make a difference, show off a little with my powers, get some fans… y’know, standard superhero stuff?”

Sparky nodded. “And there's nothing wrong with that.”

“There isn't,” Greg nodded along with him, glad that they were apparently getting somewhere.

“So why don't you just do that… on the Wards?” the other teen asked again, causing the hopeful smile to fall  from Greg’s face. “Why does it have to be on your own?”

Greg shook his head furiously before looking his friend right in the eye. “Because at the end, It'll be my own legacy, y’know. I’ll have done my own thing.”

“Done what, though?” Sparky shot back. “A half-baked attempt at hero work in a home-made dollar store costume while you stumble over your pre-written catchphrases and one-liners and your voice jumps all over the place? No one wants to see that.”

“...I think someone might,” Greg remarked again.

“Oh the hubris.” Sparky’s eyelids lowered as he leaned back on the other couch armrest, pose matching his friend as he stared up at the ceiling. “You think your personality is so sparkling? Your self-esteem tough enough that you’d be fine with people seeing you make an idiot out of yourself in public over and over again? Of you rambling with a pop culture joke or reference while you’re supposed to be focused on a bad guy? Of commenters on VidView describing your costume as “just as quality as the cape wearing it?”

Another sigh left his lips before he locked eyes with Greg again. “Admit it.”

“Admit what?”

“Admit that deep down, you know that this is a complete waste of time.”

“But I already bought the gear,” Greg whined.

“Return it,” Sparky snapped. “Return it and then spend the money on literally anything else.”

Greg was silent for a few moments before suddenly balling up his hands into fists. Without warning, the blond leapt up from the couch, a finger pointed right in his friend’s face. “No! No! It's fun. It's fun. It's fun.” Taking a long breath, he held his hands out almost pleadingly as he said, “I don't know why you're saying this, you're supposed to be my friend.”

Sparky stood up slowly, lowering both hands onto Greg’s shoulders. “I am your friend. I'm the only friend you have, and this is what friends do. They call each other out on their shit, and this is the worst kind of shit there is. Your superhero career will fail.”

Greg leaned forward with a heavy sound – something like a half-sigh, half-moan – and fell into Sparky’s arms, the other boy grunting slightly as he suddenly had to deal with his friend’s weight. “I just wanted to do something cool, Sparkles.”

“I know… also, don’t ever call me that.”

Greg let another sad-sounding sigh again. “Ok… wanna see me take a tree apart with my bare hands?”

“...Honestly, I’d love that.”