June 23: Life Update (Patreon)

I feel this would be a good opportunity to tell a story. A small glimpse into the recent past and hopefully an answer to what has been happening the last few years.

Roughly 4 years ago, I moved from my family's home to my new location in the east coast. This was done to better my independence and learn about life in general. I'll try to summarized my experience as well as keep certain private matters confidential. When I first moved to the home 4 years ago, it was a simple room owned by the landlord. The experience, to say-the-least, was not what I had hoped it would be. The land lord had been scumming the money to pay for family related material and not the bills he was suppose to be paying. It got so bad that he even tried to trick me into getting a loan to help pay for the bills. Which I didn't since my dad always taught me to never sign a loan you'll never see a cent from. The first few year had me worry about losing the home after spending so long to finally find a place to live in. 

The roommate I lived with, however, managed to work out a new home to live in by the next summer month. Now pausing for a moment, I will say my roommate was a good man, willing to put his body on the line to make sure something gets done and protect people. However, he has a few habits which made living difficult in the long run. One of which is the way he made decisions and his lack of care he placed upon his body. Over time, he did try to fix this about himself, but by then, it got to the point he needed to get surgery... but I'm getting ahead of myself.

In the second year, he and I moved into this new house. Rented from a more understanding landlord. Now, this would be perfect, however we also had another individual brought into the mix. When I first came to the city, he had a relationship with a young woman. Months after, they accidentally made a kid when protection wasn't used. Thus, by the second year, there was also worries of having to pay for a wife, a baby, and a new home. The home and bills, thankfully (depending on your point of view), was paid for by my roommate. I just had to pay a flat rate. This rate, however, didn't account for money hemorrhaging to other things on the side. Sometimes it was cigs for my roommate and wife, others was getting a few drinks. These small payments were not a big deal at first. It was when something happens that requires me to shell out something in triple digits that kept me from paying off my credit card or other payment I had for myself. 

Keep in mind, this was a time when I was using commissions to make a living.

I learned how to do things like cook new things and how to fix certain stuff during my stay at this new house. However, I was also interrupted a lot during this time. Responsibility increased more than I thought was needed. Trips to the store to help buy things, that should only take 30 minutes to an hour, ends up taking 3 hours to complete due to getting specific items. Walking out of my room, I expect to get interrupted and held for an hour to be shown something or talk about something that ultimately would be spending money on or worry about in the future. These little things eventually spelt the reason for my long periods where I'm barely able to get art done. As it happens nearly daily, I'm always expected to get interrupted almost 2 hours or so after waking up. Every week, I expect to have to do something that goes beyond simple chores and physically push myself more then was needed. 

Honestly, it felt like I was back home: Surrounded by people I care for while they ask me do something every day cause I was more capable of doing so. So simple and innocent these tasks were that I didn't realize how much it was affect my other hobbies.

Fast forward to the fourth year. I was still working on arts and the pandemic was in the second year. I find out the house was getting sold by the landlord in 6 months time. It was also during this time I started to take time to reflect on myself. This happened 4 months later when, I realized, my art wasn't gonna keep up the spending I had to do, despite how minimal I try to keep it at. I worked at my job part-time, since that's all I would need to get the needed money.

So there I was, washing the dishes in the back while chicken was being fried, I started thinking: How did I get here? Why is art so hard to draw now when I could usually crank out pictures fairly quickly years prior? Why is my money bleeding out so quickly? How bad is our situation really? What's being done about the house situation? Do I really need to pull out a mortgage to keep the house? These questions kept popping up and I only started taking it seriously after my roommate got a heart attack despite the early signs of being close to getting one. It was then I looked into why prices for the bills were being so high, what I was really paying per month, what I was really doing every day.

Needless to say, I found the results surprising. 

Like the frog being slowly boiled alive, I found that my current living situation was to blame for my downward spiral. Unpaid bills that was numbering in the thousands, internet that was 300 dollars a month, mold growing from dishes and garbage left around the ground and tables for weeks on end, cats and dogs running around the place, and being told more people were coming to temperately live in the house because they needed a place to stay. It was a crowded mess that I could ignore as it didn't affect me and my room... at least that's what I told myself.

It was also during this time my aunt and uncle needed my help in another state due to health reasons. I knew they'd get better... however I knew to listen to my gut. I promised that I've come over and help them, opting to live there in time.  This was done in the beginning of June. Thus, I made the choice to move out.

As I said, I didn't have any problems with my friend and roommate. However, I found that I wasn't happy struggling every day to get financially stable while a family was being raised. I did enjoy the roller coaster of an experience living with my roommate and friend brought. However, after 4 years, I believe it was time to move on. I waited for him to help with a project we cooked up and gave me the reason to move out of my sister's home, but he had a more important job: Being a father and providing a family. Something which I can't fault for him and wish him luck for. One day, I wish to see how well he's doing. For now, I gave him my parting words and left with a stable friendship still intact.

This brings us to the present. I've been settling into this new home. I plan to get another part-time job in the future, having something of a stable income is important as I need to pay the bills somehow. However, I do plan to do more work on arts once my mind gets back into the game. Even finishing stuff that I've had on the back burner years ago. I also plan to improve my health a bit by finally going to a dentist to fix my molar, which was chipped months ago.

So now you got a rough idea as to why my art has been delayed and my responses have been spotty regarding my life outside the computer. In the coming weeks, and possibly months after, I will be improving my work ethic and hopefully get back to finishing pictures and actually enjoying the process. My apologies for worrying any of you during this period of my life and if I was late for drawing your requests. I plan to finish everything within the span of a month and finally catch up to my workload.