The Vaught Family Dairy - Version 1 & 2 (Patreon)

Edit: I omitted several sections from the Version2 file's Chapter 21. I've updated the attached files with the FIXED denotation.  Apologies!

Hi all!

So, these are mostly the final iterations of Vaught.  Forgive the janky file names, but it should be evident which one is which at least.  I'm still debating which version I want to go with and whether either or both need some more tweaking. I'll go into the details of how they differ, but if you don't want to read all that, the TL;DR is that Version 1 is a cleaned up compilation of all the chapters on here.  Version 2 is a slightly more cynical ending and includes a sum up 21st chapter.
Happy Reading!

Version 1

This is the story that you read along with over the past few months all cleaned up and slightly reorganized.  The order of chapters has swapped around and some sections have moved here or there, but it's almost all the same content with considerably fewer typos, grammar issues, word repetitions, and so forth.

I added a section called "The World of Milktec Industries" which gives an overview of what Milktec is, how it came to be, and how it generally affected the course of history.  This is included as a response to one of my proofers demanding to know what the hell was going on.  It's also the reason the location/date/time now has the year added into it.

The other change to this version involved rewriting circumstances between characters and cleaning up the timeline.  For example, Christie the maid now arrives at the same time as the twins.  These changes boil down to a sentence here or there. Small stuff that you'd notice in a side by side comparison, but would never miss otherwise.

Version 2
Having given version 1 to be proofed, I received back some notes in addition to a few I got from patrons.  This resulted in a few changes primarily to the events after chapter 15.

• Benny moved from the library to one of the downstairs rooms.  - Some feedback indicated that his presence from the beginning was clunky. Why wouldn't you address the blindfolded and bound guy in the corner? He felt too much like a prop.  Things like that.  Moving him to another room downstairs lets the transition away from Amanda/Christie work a little better and gives an opportunity to reframe the Benny/Liz scene.
• In V1, from Benny's POV it's unknown who he's going down on.  This was to add a tiny amount of suspense to whether it would be Liz or Mel.  In the end, this made it more impersonal than suspenseful, so now he knows its Liz.
• The order of sections in chapters 18 and 19 have changed.
• Chapter 19 starts with a Greg/Abby scene. Details of Abby's serum are elaborated on a little more.  They break a wall. Usual stuff.
• Liz's ending is shifted slightly.  In V1, the whole evening culminates in her achieving a unity of character that resolves her hypocrisy.  Because of that, when we subsequently see her, she's cheerful, considerate, and apologetic for her past. V2, on the other hand, has Liz attempting to regain control of the situation, if only in her mind, by enticing Greg to want her.  Greg turns this around, making her beg.  Though very little changes at the end of her section, the take away should be much different.
• This continues in the last section of Chapter 20.  In V1, Liz greets Alice/Maddock at the door with an apology.  In V2, Abby answers the door and shows off her stable, including a resentful and humbled Liz.
• Then there's Chapter 21.  A flash forward to Christmas when the Vaughts have opened the doors to civilians.  It's meant to be a slice of life showing how things evolved from lust frenzy to day to day existence.  Elizabeth is more sympathetic after those months, but she's also still begrudging of her position.  The chapter rapidly ties off some dangling threads, but I'm not entirely sure if I'll include it in the published version, so I'm happy to hear thoughts.