[Spirit of Lust 2] Chapters 346 & 347. (Patreon)

Chapter 346: Thinking.

After I finished my act, I didn’t go back to the locker room, but neither did I go out and get together with the others. Mom had come to see me, too, so I felt a little guilty, but I needed to stay backstage, standing in a corner where I wouldn’t bother anyone. I needed to be somewhere I could be alone, see the performances and see the audience.

I saw one of Isabelle’s friends do a magic show and… Well, let’s say I didn’t feel like judging anyone at the moment and leave it at that. A couple other people sang known songs and got the audience to sing along with them. Someone put on a short, stand-up comedy skit and was actually pretty funny. A shame I didn’t feel like laughing, though.

I think I should clarify I wasn’t angry or upset at any aspect of my performance. I had done everything I needed and wanted to do, and the reception had been good, all things considered. I don’t think I embarrassed myself beyond playing some obscure song nobody knew and that would for sure make more than a few question my taste in music. Regardless, something felt off, and I wanted to understand what it was. It was for that reason that I watched the remaining acts.

I got a text from Mila asking me where I was. I told her I’d catch up with them after the show was over, that I needed to think a bit. I hoped I wouldn’t make them worry, so I’d be sure to explain everything to them afterwards. Only if they cared, though.

As I continued watching, there was one particular performance that gave me a big hint to the answer I was looking for. A senior student dressed up and made a near perfect imitation of Michael Jackson’s dancing. The crowd absolutely loved it and they cheered for him loudly. I saw them smile, laugh, cheer and whistle, and I even found myself smiling, too.

When the last act was done, the MC encouraged all students to vote for the act they wanted to win. The voting would be done though the school website and you needed a student account to vote, so yeah, it was students only. I don’t think we were prohibited from voting for ourselves, but I still voted for the Michael Jackson imitation. Guy had skill.

They were giving a 10 minute break for the voting, so I did end up going back out with my guitar case on my back. I thought it appropriate to go see mom first, since she was a guest here. I found her at the very back of the gym, on the last row of seats, with Isabelle.

“There he is,” my sister said, poking mom and then pointing at me. “Where were you?”

“Watching the acts,” I told her. I looked at mom. “Sorry I didn’t come sooner.”

Mom chuckled and shook her head. “Don’t worry. You look a little too serious, though.” She stood up, walked up to me and gave me a hug. “You did great, son. I’m so proud of you.”

That warmed my chest. I smiled and chuckled. “Thanks, mom. And you too, sis. Thanks for all the help.”

“I already voted for us, so now we just have to wait,” Isabelle said. She looked at the stage and sighed. I don’t think she believed we’d win, either.

The MC reappeared on stage after 10 minutes. She gave a short speech about how great it was to have everyone here and encouraged everyone to give one more round of applause to everyone who had participated.

“And now, without further ado, let’s announce the winners, shall we?” The audience went silent. So did Isabelle, mom and I. “In third place, we have…!” A small pause for dramatic tension. “Jerry Graves with his stand-up comedy skit!”

There was a big round of applause as Jerry got up on stage. He waved and bowed with a huge grin on his face.

“First place was a heated battle that was decided by only a 10 vote difference! In second place, we have… The drama club, with their original play!”

The drama club came in second? That was a surprise. I’d heard they were going all out. I didn’t get to see their play, but I felt it was a shame. Then again, I didn’t vote for them, so part of it was on me. The president of the drama club went up on stage as the representative and waved in thanks.

“And finally,” continued the MC, “taking the lead in the first new instance of our reborn talent show… Reggie Nash, with his imitation of Michael Jackson’s ‘Billie Jean’!”

The cheering and shouting got louder as Reggie walked on stage. Meanwhile, Isabelle and I shared a look of wry smiles. I shrugged, but she came up to me and gave me a hug.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I talked big, but…”

“Hey, it’s fine. I did what I wanted to do. I couldn’t have done this six months ago, but now I stood in front of all these people and managed to not fuck it all up. I’ll count that as a win.”

“I bet Alice has access to the full vote results. Let’s ask her how you did.”

“I don’t think I want to know.”

We caught mom wiping a single tear off her eye and suddenly got worried.

“M-Mom!?” Isabelle asked her.

Mom shook her head with a chuckle. “It’s nothing, dear. Just… You’ve both gone through a great deal of maturing this year. You have no idea how happy it makes me to see it, and what a relief it is.”

“I don’t know,” Isabelle said, sighing. “I still think I’m not quite there yet.”

“Same.”

“Oh, for sure,” Mom said, laughing. Isabelle pouted with puffed cheeks, so mom continued. “Neither of you are, but you’re not expected to be. Keep walking and standing up after every fall. That’s the only way you’ll continue to grow and become who you want to be.”

“...Sorry to make you worry, mom,” I told her.

“I won’t ever stop worrying, so save it.”

Guess she wouldn’t.

The school day was technically over and we could all go home, but Mom and Isabelle went back home before me since I needed to stay and meet some people.

I texted Mila, asking her if we should meet in the club room. She said they were already there.

************

Chapter 347: Purpose.

I walked into the club room and was met with a sudden round of applause. Mila, Grace, Sarah, Noelle and Alice were all there, sitting around the table.

“Sorry,” I told them with a sheepish smile. “I didn’t win.”

“Yeah, it sucks,” Grace said. “But yours was one of the highest quality performances.”

“At least this way people won’t accuse Alice and me of rigging the votes,” Noelle said, giggling.

Alice shrugged. “Would’ve been worth it.”

Sarah came up to me, wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me softly on the lips. I held her by the waist and deepened the kiss a bit more. Then, with our foreheads pressed together, she asked, “How are you doing, though?”

“Yeah. When you said you wanted to be alone for a while we got worried,” Mila said.

“It’s… given me a lot to think about,” I told them. “I needed some time to process it.”

“Want to share?” Sarah asked me.

Maybe putting it all into words would help me figure it out. “If you don’t mind hearing me ramble for a bit.”

“Please, by all means,” Alice said. “I want to hear what you have to say.”

“Yep. It’s always you who has to listen to us, so let us enjoy this rare occasion,” Grace said.

I sat down at the table with them and Sarah went back to her own seat. I thought of where to begin and it took me a while before I decided.

“I think the act went as well as it could have,” I said. “I looked down at my guitar too much, that’s true. I’ll need to work on that for the next time I do something like this. I also felt too stiff, but beyond that… I didn’t make mistakes, I played perfectly and didn’t run away from it. I did everything I wanted to do, but even so… I’m not satisfied.”

“You wanted to win?” Noelle asked me.

I shook my head with a chuckle. “I voted for the Michael Jackson act, actually.”

Mila sighed. “I mean, he was pretty good. The audience loved him.”

I nodded. “His act helped me realize what’s been bothering me. See, I played my heart out. I played one of my favorite songs and played it well, but when I raised my head to see the audience… I saw how little interest there was.”

“But that’s just because they don’t know where the song is from,” Noelle argued. “When you started playing it, I felt chills!”

I smiled. “I understand why that, of course. A song nobody knows is less likely to bring excitement to a crowd like this. But I can’t blame the audience and say ‘they just don’t get it’, right? The responsibility for it lies with me, the one who picked the song to play for them.”

“You think you should've played something else?” Sarah asked me.

“Maybe. I’m not sure. On one hand, this is what I wanted to play. I don’t know if I would’ve put the same amount of effort if it was a song that was more popular but I was less interested in. But on the other hand…” I let out a heavy sigh. “Remember that day I played the bass in the classroom?” Mila, Grace and Sarah nodded. Alice and Noelle weren’t there that day, sadly. “That was… I didn’t play anything complex or technically difficult, and yet people got excited and sang along. That felt more satisfying than perfectly playing a difficult song in front of 500 people. The video of me playing Free Bird also did really well, which makes me happy despite the embarrassment.

“I… I still don’t understand how it works. Performance, music, skill, technique, target audience… I always just played for myself, so I only cared about getting better so the songs sounded as they should. Now though… I think I’d like to play to make people excited.”

I couldn’t get those smiles and cheers out of my head from when I played the bass in the classroom and a fun, excited atmosphere suddenly formed. “It’s not that I want recognition or fame. I want to… make people smile, cheer, maybe even cry. The Michael Jackson imitator did that better than me today, and I think that’s why he won.”

Yeah. Talking about it really did help. I may not have won the talent show, but I believe realizing this was way more important and a way better prize than a $100 gift card to a clothing store.

Grace got up from her seat to stand behind me. She hugged me, pressing her breasts on the back of my neck and kissing the top of my head.

“W-What?” I asked her.

Grace giggled. “Nothing. I just fell for you even harder, that’s all. I didn’t think it was possible.”

“Make people smile…” Noelle muttered. “Yeah. I get that.”

“There’s one thing that you’re not taking into account, Oliver,” Alice said. She was tapping on her phone, then set it on the table and slid it across it towards me. I checked it and saw… the voting results.

“So you DO have access to these,” I said.

“Just to see them. My account has a few admin privileges.”

I was happy not knowing the results, but having them in front of me… I couldn’t resist.

There were a total of 388 votes, meaning only a bit over half the student body actually voted. Guess that happens a lot. First place had 84 votes, second place had 74, third place had 55, and in fourth place… Oliver Brooks and Isabelle Brooks with 41 votes.

“It’s a lot like you to focus more on the negatives than the positives,” Sarah said. I bet Alice had already shown them these results. “You didn’t look towards our class at all, right? We were all cheering for you.”

“And it’s silly to believe no one at all knew the song you were playing,” Noelle added. “I saw people banging their heads and playing air guitar with you across my own seat. The few people that did know what you were playing got really excited.”

“Not to mention more people knew you from that Free Bird clip,” Grace said. “I was hoping it would boost your votes more, but I guess internet interest is that feeble.”

“You wanted to make people excited,” Alice said. “Maybe it wasn’t many, but you did, and those who understood it really liked it. You just decided to keep your eyes somewhere else.”

I sighed with a small smile. I guess sometimes you need other people to get a better picture of things. Maybe I shouldn’t have been so stubborn and refuse to look at those who did cheer for me.

“Thank you, everyone.”

“Hey, and out of curiosity,” Sarah began. “How many votes did the music club get?”

“Oh right, you didn’t see it!” Mila said, grinning devilishly. “They sucked.”

“Huh?”

“Yeah, it didn’t look like they practiced much,” Alice said, nodding. “They should be by the bottom of the list.”

She was right. The music club was in 19th place out of 20 with 7 votes. I could be satisfied with that, at least, and it meant Isabelle and I did end up accomplishing our objective in a way.

All in all, it was a pretty good day.

Tomorrow was looking to be far, far better, though.