[Spirit of Lust] Chapter 89: Will wakes up. (Patreon)

William rose slowly and found tears streaming down his cheeks, even as his face remained stoic and unsurprised. He sat up on the couch, rubbing his eyes and throwing the blanket aside. He quietly made his way to the bathroom to wash his face, but despite wanting to, it was hard to stop the tears.

‘Why’d you have to go poking around in there, dammit?’

‘Caught me already, huh?’

‘The dreams were too vivid.’

‘I thought you’d be angrier.’

‘What’s the point? I was gonna have nightmares about it regardless of what you did. This isn’t my first time dreaming of those events. Besides, fighting amongst ourselves only makes things worse, remember?’

‘Still. I’m sorry. I didn’t expect it to hurt as much as it did. You’ve had that hole in there for a while, but seeing the memories up close was… something else.’

‘I’m ashamed of the way I reacted in all those moments. If I was more mature I could’ve handle those situations differently, but… I don’t know.’

‘I liked that you punched one guy and kicked the other in the nuts though.’

‘And that’s exactly what I’m ashamed of. Nearly did the same thing again today, even. I haven’t changed for shit. Still falling in love like an idiot despite knowing what can happen, still acting the same way in front of unfaithfulness. Reina and Ruth weren’t unfaithful, but I still almost…’

‘Speaking for what happened back then, no one should expect a reasonable reaction out of a 17 year old. As for what happened just before we met, it was pretty fucked up. It was in your own bed.’

“…” The tears were finally stopping, but Will’s eyes were a reddish mess. He dried his face with a towel and went back to sitting on the couch in the dark room.

‘Ishtar… Do you know what I did wrong? Did I say something or did anything that would make them throw me away like that? I don’t think I ever treated them wrongly, I… I tried to be a good boyfriend. If they had told me things weren’t working out it would be one thing, but… To go behind my back like that? What did I do?’

‘…If you want a proper answer given to you from the perspective of someone who views the world with lust tinted glasses, I’d say you lacked passion.’

‘Passion?’

‘At that age, a lot of teens seek excitement and new experiences. Your exes did, at least. But from what I could tell, you were too… what would be the right word? Conservative? Prudent? I wouldn’t call it a bad thing in and of itself, though. You just so happened to have rotten luck and dated girls whose priority was excitement and sex before a relationship.’

Will let out a humorless chuckle.

‘Thanks for putting it gently. You could have worded that a lot worse.’

‘I like teasing you, not kicking you while you’re down. I know the difference.’

‘Will you betray me too, Ishtar?’

‘Are you seriously asking that? You should know the answer by now.’

‘I always thought I knew the answer. I was wrong four out of four times. Who’s to say I won’t be wrong once more?’

‘Okay, now you’re just brooding again.’

‘I guess I am. Sorry.’

‘Feeling better?’

“Will?”

Hearing his name uttered with his eyes closed startled him. He looked towards the source, seeing Reina and Ruth peeking from behind the shelf that separated the bed from the rest of the small apartment.

“It is you, right Will?” Reina asked again.

“It’s me,” he nodded. “Are you two feeling alright? You should be sleeping.”

“We... had a bad dream,” Ruth said, then looked at Reina. “The same dream, actually.”

“The same…? ISHTAR!” He stood up from his seat with a jump, startling the girls.

It clicked for him instantly. Will didn’t need to ask if or how she’d done it. He knew she had, and she was crafty enough to find a way.

‘There it is! See? Now you’re mad!’

“Of course I’m mad! Why’d you have to get them involved in your damn meddling!?”

‘I figured I might as well!’

“God… Fucking…!!! Gaaah! They didn’t need to see that shit!” Will shook his head and covered his face. He turned to look at the visibly disturbed girls. “Look, I’m… Haah… I’m sorry. I must look like a lunatic screaming to myself. Ishtar, she… she started messing with my dreams and got you to see them somehow. That’s what you saw, right? My… past?”

Ruth swallowed and shared a look with Reina. “So it really was that.”

Will nodded. “So if you could just go ahead and forget it all…”

“I won’t though,” Reina said, crossing her arms and looking at Will with a frown. “So was that really how it all happened?”

“Well… The dreams skipped out a lot, but yeah, pretty much.”

Why? Why were they even talking about this? Shouldn’t they have more important things to discuss? Like the fact Will was possessed, that they’d been transported to another world, that they’d met strange creatures and much more.

“No fucking wonder you didn’t want to date me when I first asked,” Reina said, sitting on the couch. “What the hell was that? No one can be so unlucky as to date four shitty people in a row.”

“That first one hit close to home,” Ruth sighed. “Same thing happened to a friend of mine. And that last one happened recently, right? It was in your old apartment.”

Will nodded.

“Gah! I’m so fucking angry!” Reina said, furiously rubbing her head. “I practically said the same things to you! ‘I promise I won’t cheat!’ Why would you even believe me after going through all that crap?”

“It took a while for me, but you still ended up accepting me,” Ruth said, standing with a hand on her hip. “If I was in your shoes, I’d probably never trust a man again. Twice would be bad enough, but four times?”

“…It was because of Ishtar,” Will said, giving up. “She can read minds and kept assuring me you were both serious about me.”

“Right…” Ishtar.” Reina sighed. “You two get along well, huh?”

“Wasn’t always like that,” Will chuckled. “At first I wasn’t even aware of her and she just kept using me to get sex. When she finally showed herself, we agreed on some boundaries and started working together. Now, though…” Will smiled. “She’s my partner. I trust her, both because I have no choice on the matter and because she’s proven she’s on my side.” He took a deep breath and got ready to lay it all out for them. “Everything I’ve done, I’ve done for the two of us. Ishtar needs sex to survive and be strong. As for me, I’m an idiot who still wishes to be… loved. When Ishtar tempted me with promises of loyalty through sex, I accepted. She taught me to use her powers, and I used them on you and others because I wanted you to be mine and solely mine. I won’t make excuses. I knew it wasn’t right, but a part of me still didn’t care. Being honest and trying to do things the right way only ever resulted in heartbreak, so I did things the way Ishtar suggested.” Will narrowed his eyes in thought, then added in a low voice. “Actually, her methods were far more drastic, but that’s beside the point.”

It was better this way, William thought. At least now, if they chose to walk away from all this crap, it would be a clear result of his actions. So long as they were upfront about it, it wouldn’t hurt nearly as much. He could accept it.

“Are you done?” Ruth asked.

“…Eh? Um… yes, I’m done.”

“Good. Now, Reina, shall we?”

“Yes.”

The two girls took off their tops and threw them aside, leaving Will very confused. Then Reina spoke.

“If sex is the way you do things, then we’ll show you what we chose with sex, too.”