I want to say some personal things. Feel free to ignore. (Patreon)
Content
Hello everyone.
I'm here because I want to say some things, and I just don't know where else. A huge part of me even feels that I shouldn't be writing this at all. I've always tried to separete the person I am IRL with the person I appear to be online. It's not like I'm some sort of online personality like a youtuber or a streamer, so I've always felt like I'd be bothering people if I say personal things unrelated to writing, but right now I just don't know what to do.
I'm not a very smart guy, nor am I strong. August has hit me hard (doubt it has stopped, too), and though I'm not vain enough to think I'm the only one, it has left me questioning myself a lot.
A lot of people have deleted pledges here, and no, I'm not writing this to call them out. Far from it. I'm extremely thankful for the support everyone's given me, whether they've stopped or not. I've kept you all in my mind every time I write. Every time I create something, I want it to be the best I can make it for it to be worth your time and money. But I can't shake off the feeling that it hasn't been enough recently.
If you also write, or draw or do anything creative, you're probably familiar with the feeling that you're just not good enough. For a long time now, that feeling has been haunting me.
I'm confused. I don't know what I should do or even what I want to do. There's issues IRL and issues with Patreon and my writing that cause me anxiety. My biggest concern is that people don't seem to be enjoying what I write, and that hurts the most. I just don't know.
And I still think I shouldn't be sharing this, that it's pathetic and I should just grit my teeth and think of a way to make things better. But like I said, I'm not smart or strong. I love writing and it's hard to imagine myself not doing it, but it's difficult to continue when I feel like I'm just disappointing people.
I'm sorry for this unnecesary and self-deprecating rant. I don't imagine this is fun for anyone. I'll do a proper update on progress, plans and things later today or tomorrow.
If you read all this, thank you very much.