Goodbye Patreon (for now) (Patreon)

Hello to those of you who are still here. 

HAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope that all of you a great holiday season, had some time off to rest and celebrate in whatever way you see fit. 

I have been THE MOST busy - which is just what I would call this phase of my life which I've been in for the past 2 years. It is also the main reason why I'm writing this update today. For anyone who wants the "quick read" - I wont be updating Patreon moving forward. Even though I have the best of intentions, it's the thing on my plate that seems to fall by the wayside and I don't want anyone here paying too much or waiting for me on a monthly basis. 

I will be leaving my account up, I have a level that is $1/month for anyone who wants to retain access to everything I've posted in past years and wants to stay up to date when I'm able to return. 

What's been going on in my life? 

In the past couple months which have been a whirlwind - Katie West was here to visit which was lovely, it is always lovely. 

Directly after Katie left, my Grandad went into hospice and was there for about a week before passing. That week was a celebration of his life, our family was there every single day, as well as his beloved dog, Jackson. There was a family room that we took over each day; we brought food, we drank a lot of tequila, and played all of his favorite music. There was a lot of reminiscing and just time spent together.  We were all with him when he pasted and he was joking up until the end. To the point where, we were all huddled around the room, silent and in tears and had one more joke that made us all burst out in laughter while we were crying. Even though we lost him, that time in hospice was the very best and he was so deserving of that send off. 

And then....I bought a house. 

Which was not planned, an opportunity to purchase my family home came up and within a week the decision was made. We had about a month and we painted literally EVERYTHING (minus 2 rooms we are still working on), updated all the light fixtures as well as the sinks/faucets and then I moved in. It was THE MOST - I worked two jobs and every night went to the house to work. 

I can't lie, while it was worth it - there were lots of tears from utter exhaustion. 

Things are still taking shape - being moved around, organized etc but the main living spaces are done and I'm having my family over today to show them what we've been up to for the past month. 

In transition

I feel like my life, as well as my being (my total being, all aspects of it) are in transition. Rcently I wake up, I go through the motions but there are parts of me that just feel unsettled. Unsettled, but not in a bad way just as though everything I am notices that things are changing. 

The  things I know currently are:

I needed this upheaval to make bigger changes. I was in a very specific routine at my old place that wasn't doing me justice. With this move, my body started moving again and I want to keep that going. I'd like to lose a little bit of weight because I am at the biggest I've been and sometimes I find it cumbersome on my body. 

I'm SO EXCITED to have a yard come spring time. Just the mere act of going outside on all of my breaks without shoes and feeling the grass will just be amazing. I can't wait read in the sun, garden, BBQ and watch the sun set every single night. It's going to be a little slice of heaven. 

And more recently my interest has turned back to painting and art (in a general sense). I haven't been in that space for YEARS as my photography really took over from painting. Maybe a little known fact, I went to art school and was once represented by a gallery in Montreal Quebec. Currently I'm reading about Indigenous Canadian Art after getting my Metis card back. I VERY much wish there were more local resources around this type of information. I can't find many books locally to borrow from either our Metis Office or our local Libraries. I have about $800 in these types of books in a cart and have already envisioned buying them one by one over time and donating them back to our local library once I pass. 

Austism

Another bigger change that has been happening behind the scenes is that I was diagnosed with Autism. I'm still reading a ton of research about those who have been diagnosed very late in life like myself. There isn't a ton out there because it seems as though a lot of studies are current and ongoing. 

The one positive thing that has come out of it, is that with this diagnosis I've been more comfortable with the parts of myself that find it difficult to exist within our current society. There have been things that I have been fighting against for my entire life and I've just thought "why can't you do this?", ""what is wrong with you, you need to be better", "this is easy, look at everyone else, just do it" - that now I am able to understand why these things are difficult and accept them instead. This has honestly made a very big difference in my life, and I'm able to stand up for myself in a way that I hadn't been before.

I wear my ear plugs more often, I don't push myself in social situations, I am more forgiving of myself for some of the awkward things that I do, I allow myself more rest and more compassion over all. 

That's it, in a nutshell! 

As always thank you all for being here. 

xo