Shutdown and reflections. (Patreon)

It dawned on me while putting together the Kauai sets (there are two - this month and next month) that my best work is done in times of hardship and when I document my life in the most honest way I know how.

I felt sad because I didn't know to do that at the start of the pandemic. How powerful would it be to have taken photos from start to finish?

I'm trying to be "easy" on myself and counteract all the negative self talk I have surrounding it by telling myself - we didn't know it would last this long. And if you went back through your photos from last year until now you probably have more than you think.

But really, I also feel like I should probably just take pictures of REAL LIFE all the time?
I don't know right now. 

Last year was very much about OnlyFans, starting it, finding my stride etc but that work doesn't move me in any type of way. It's fun to be creative but I'm not making what I like, I'm catering to an audience - and if we're honest it's an audience that mainly just wants to see my pussy.  How groundbreaking!

Today was the first day of another shut down in Ontario.

Today I decided to take at least one picture a day to document it. 

Hopefully it will be something, but even if not hopefully this sparks a change in me and I start to actually photograph life the way that I should have always been? My family, where I live, day to day.

I needed to be reminded that I don't need an occasion to take photographs.