Health Code Violation (Patreon)

"Oh my god, you pig, I can't believe you! Put that stupid thing away before a customer sees it, idiot."

--

Junip, my sandcat, is a baker and mediocre barista at the café owned by Red & Jules. A bit of a braggart, he will happily tell you how good he thinks his own pastries are, and he'll show you the multiple awards he's won to prove it, despite the lack of formal training (or formality in general).

Of course, being the kind of person he is, he has come up with a nickname for his own dick that he will never find unfunny: "I call it The Baker's Dozen. Get it?"

"..."

"Because it's 13 inches lon-"

"Shut up and pick your dick away, Junip."