Jonathan the dhampyre (Patreon)

Thank you for your suggestions!  for starters, I’ll continue the vampire stuff. Fortunately I am still very interested in it, which is rare for me to last this long with one interest.  mmm I think Ill start with the drac/vladd and drac/Jonathan ideas.  maybe some preg…. Cus I am a sucker for this all of you know 😔👌  and the babies… the babies 🥺💕 Jonathan being a dad, and having some comics on this possibly fanon poly relationship.

for Jonathan, he is incredibly good at keeping cool. He had to, as getting too emotional in any direction changes his appearance uncontrollably. the only way to stabilize is to be calm and rational. during the rebellion’s beginnings, this was essentially impossible. Everything was stressful, uncertain, and certainly angering. He ran, hid, or refused entry for anyome near by. No matter how close. unfortunately for him, it wasn’t gonna last and people knew. This was a secret they had to take to the grave. In so, they also helped him hide, form a persona, and use this to their advantage. for the rebellion, he knew this was a very useful ability. At great expense and at an even bigger mask, Jonathan hid it all.
it made it hard for him to be honest, vulnerable, or ask for his own needs.
he often deflected, refocused the attention, and worked himself all the time. only at nights when he’s all alone where he begins to panic, shake, and get frustrated beyond his means. the next day, he’s all fine. He’s a leader, and these burdens can never be taken off his shoulders.
this made relationships fall apart. When one of his comrades finally told him to take a break, during a peaceful lull in the organization, he thought… maybe this wouldn’t be too bad.
he met someone, unknown to him, was vladd. The prince that represents his enemy.  
but it became clear he would not divulge too much… but he thought maybe a little. Someone he thought was outside of his strife, in an appearance (Being a friendly preschool teacher) he thought acceptable. Even if it was also a mask, Jonathan began to reveal somethings.

things did not turn out so well. Jonathan found out about vladd and so did he. Jonathan frankly spiraled a little. More than he has in a long time. But he pushed it all down, ignored the rising panic and stayed cool. he is fine. he gave vladd an ultimatum, even if it weighed a little too heavy on his heart. The silence was painful, the nights were suffocating.
vladd joined. he thought it would relieve him, but it did not change anything. now Jonathan has to think of vladd, separate him from his affections, and focus on the tasks.
he saw vladd, the prince. He saw Sam, the vampire too. (The identity vladd went by) His anger at vladds privilege of ignorance (the fact that vladd was wholly unaware of major political events… as a prince of the monarchy), privilege of existence, privilege of power. It felt almost mocking.
jonathan says he's fine Though. It felt toxic that he loves Him, toxic that he hates him. Toxic that he’s being irrational… and vladd is not his enemy. everything is getting to him. Now vladd knows drac, and he can’t bring himself to intervene. He cannot care for this, yet he knows them both well.
the rebellion is preparing, recovering from losses (attacks by the government), and vladd is now getting in danger.
jonathan knows his goal is to succeed, no matter what it takes. He cannot lose his cool, nor his temper.
he has gone this far, lives to free, a government to take over. 

he sees that vladd is working harder and harder. The familiar desperation to make things work, the painful realization of the world‘s cruelty. The fact that vladd has a mission to fulfill… to make Jonathan and everyone he loves happy.
its not right. Vladd is not okay. but if he isn’t working this much, they wouldn’t have gotten this much information.
jonathan wonders if this a good decision. He can no longer sleep at night.
vladd ends up collapsing. And it breaks him. jonathan cant take it anymore. vladd knew he did this to himself, and even if Jonathan were to try to stop him, vladd would not listen. That doesn’t matter. Jonathan is stressed beyond his means again, guilt aching at his withered bones. Sleepless, angry, and he wants to cry.  He cannot let vladd do more, but he cannot get over that this could’ve been prevented. Because if anyone knew, it was Jonathan.
vladd recovered well, despite it all.

unfortunately drac started to notice. Jonathan was making mistakes, slurring his words, eyes baggy.
and drac is seeing what Jonathan is doing to himself as vladd did. 

jonathan says hes fine. He asks if they’re okay, tells them to rest. He’ll take over.  Vladd started to question this. started to prod more and more, Jonathan kept stonewalling. vladd and drac were way too familiar with this.  
they had one of the first fights in a long time. Jonathan did not say nice things to vladd, but Mid-way he lost control and kept faltering his appearance, panicking and beginning to scream for them to leave.
Jonathan never screams. Drac went in, and vladd was in shock at what he saw. drac snapped him out of it and they essentially were forced out.
it was an intense panic attack. He had to leave. But he can’t, hes a leader. But what he did was terrible! he doesnt want to face them, but he has work to do. He can’t stop panicking, he can’t stop thinking on what to do. Nothing is right! He has to calm down but he can’t. God, he can’t calm down.
the room is damaged, he thinks he’s a monster. He wonders if he always was.
to make this sad story short, vladd and drac intervened again, even if they were thrown out. Jonathan was becoming less aware of his surroundings and other people in the rebellion were getting worried. His comrades saw this deterioration of character and wanted to help.
and so they did, especially after this intense breakdown. drac and even more so vladd, who was all to familiar with this path, didn’t allow Jonathan to spiral any further.  Drac told him some stories of who Jonathan was back then, and now after seeing Jonathan’s secret, a lot of things made much more sense. 

jonathan hadn’t been able to open up in a long time. out of fear, out of responsibility and obligation, out of necessity.
but Jonathan has a big heart, being everyone else’s shoulder to lean on. If everyone else is happy then Jonathan is too, even if it isn’t true. Even If it doesn’t stop his nightmares, his fears, his fits of panic and rage and sadness.
vladd didn’t want their relationship to dwindle away and break apart, just because Jonathan can’t handle vulnerability. Vladd was in that place too, Jonathan and co. Helped him out of it. Drac was his friend, a comrade who knew his secrets. he himself can’t allow his first ever true companion to wither at the expense of others. Jonathan was out of time and energy, and finally had a nap.
Happy ending, Jonathan began his little break from work, Everyone else took the slack, and with an iron fist, refused any slithering attempt to work and to fall back on his habit to help. Vladd was still in need of a break as well, and spent their time together trying to talk… actually really, really, talk. It took a lot out of Jonathan to even say a few things, and sometimes vladd had to completely get him in a chokehold with drac spewing profanities to get him to say the bare minimum. That Jonathan is not okay. That he wants to cry, he wants to punch a wall, someone to hold him and tell him everything is alright. he is scared, and that he wants this burden to finally drop off his back and everything to work.

if it was anyone to shoulder his tears, it at least be them.  There is no one leader, its a team now. Vladd, drac, Jonathan, and all the comrades that work for this idea of a better place.

jonathan finally feels better. 

end! essentially my thoughts on him in this story

cue sappy music… yeah Jonathan is a very charismatic but broken person. ;))) it’s all related to his roles In the story, his history, and his being.