Early Release: The Friend Zone (Patreon)

Those of you who've paid close attention to my writing may remember the first piece I uploaded to the EMCSA, a five-part series about a mind controller who tries to win a woman's love the more-or-less honest way, gets friend-zoned instead, and then shenanigans ensue.

Well, this tale, obviously, is of a similar theme. I'm someone who spent a lot of time living in the friend zone in my teens and twenties ("Ross, you are mayor of the zone" is a line that marks my single strongest moment of connection to a character in a sit com), and I'm sure plenty of you have known the feeling to one degree or another. Now that I'm a [less im]mature person, I've gotten over my philosophical notions around it - I don't think "being a nice guy" entitles anyone to anything, and real people are always free to want who or what they want.

As a disclaimer, some women I friend-crushed were perfectly nice people who were very cool about letting me down easy and firmly drawing that line, and some
are actual normal happy friends of mine to this day. Others... well, no, let's say "other" - was a manipulative egomaniac who obviously loved the power she had over me and had no reservations about training me to jump through emotional hoops, contort my heart into a pretzel, and let her drag me through an off-again-on-again relationship that basically equated to her being able to call me a boyfriend whenever she didn't feel like she had better prospects.

I'm not painting with a broad brush - I think most women who wind up in the uncomfortable position of having to let a guy with a friend-crush down easy have a hard time with it, and do what they can to show sensitivity and consideration. I and no doubt some of you have been in the inverse situation of being the rejector, and it is itself a hard spot to be in. Most of them are good people doing the best they can in an awkward situation.

This story, I dedicate to the ones who aren't. Enjoy, and sorry for the rant. :)