The Limits of the Power, and a bunch of rambling (Patreon)

Hey everybody. Chiming in here with a fresh commission for you, The Limits of the Power. A tiny forewarning for those of you who don't spreche the Deutsch that you may want to have a German to English translator open when you read this. It is absolutely not necessary to read/enjoy, but if you're like me and it bugs you not to get everything, there's your forewarning. For my money, there's something fun about a nice foreign accent, and since German's the only language I even have remote fluency in, that's where I went. (I believe this marks my first ever monetization of my German minor. Yay?) Next up, finishing up work on my charity story for covid19 stuff, as well as what may be the conclusion or at least penultimate line in Living the Dream. Then I think we'll get to work on Character Creation book 2, and give dear Chanda a little closure in her loser-ish situation. Lots on the table, and all of it looking forward to.

If you're not looking for ruminations from your smut dealer, feel free to download your preferred format and enjoy. If you are... man. I hope you are all OK out there. It's royally fucked that I'm once again camping out on the couch for 5 months, this time to care for my mom's dog who just had the same surgery mine did a year and a half back; carpal tunnel has been kicking my ass; I had to cancel my first ever international trip that I'd been planning for months; and I'm trying to help my mom cope with the gradual (but not gradual enough) loss of her eyesight that she's been unable to do much about because of the corona situation and all the delays it imposes on everything; yet in spite of that, my "problems" are a joke compared to a ton of the people I know, and the tons and tons of people I don't. It's a daily project in mental health maintenance to remind myself that it's OK to feel down about my situation, and I suppose I bring it up so if you're facing the same "fluff" kinds of problems I am, you don't make them even worse.

As for the people with the real issues... folks, I'm not exaggerating when I say I lose sleep thinking about you and hoping you're doing well. I'll see so-and-so deleted a pledge and wonder if it's just because I'm not productive enough (and no hard feelings for anybody who's been in that mental place!), or if it's someone whose livelihood has been disrupted and this is the obvious place to start tightening the belt. I think about the folks losing their jobs and trying to subsist on the paltry unemployment payments (if your state didn't forcibly render you ineligible), and all the essential folks subjecting themselves to hazards to get by, grudgingly or nobly or however you're making it through it. Then this past week since the murder of George Floyd and the ensuing chaos, and I just hope you're... I don't even know. That you're OK, I guess? Or maybe that you're where and how you're choosing to be (and that you get to make that choice), that you're the pilot of your journey and not roadkill on someone else's. There's so many goddamn victims out there right now. Victims of poverty and injustice and discrimination and criminality and a bullshit healthcare system and the lack of a safety net and plain old bad fucking luck. And I know "victim" isn't a word everyone is comfortable, so pardon my semantic approach. 

But I am so worried about you all, and I know for most of you, even if there's not much to be done for it. Which also feels pretty powerless. What I really want is to be able to do and say so much more for everybody to inspire and validate and empower and support, especially you folks who so generously help me live my life. (And yes, to listen, because lord knows my ass sure doesn't come close to having a fraction of all the answers.) It doesn't help that I'm an incredibly passionate person about all these goings-on, and those of you who share that trait may well know what it's like to bite your lip when you have all these things you want to say because Feelings and Happenings. But in my capacity as your Ice Bear, the best I can really do is toss a little distraction your way and give you a chance to think of anything but everything for a little while, so that's what I'm gonna keep doing.

I hope so much you're as well as you can be out there, everybody. And if you're not, I guess just know that I care, and I'm sorry, and that you're loved and important just for being a person. As somebody once said, if you're going through hell, keep going.