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Educational Programming (Patreon)

Published:
2020-03-15 18:30:20
Imported:
2023-02

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Every now and then I go through old my old stories to refresh myself on what all I've produced, what I liked, what worked, etc. One commission from a couple years back that I rediscovered recently was Alice's Smartpartment. I walked away feeling like there was more to be done with the premise, and so... here we have, Educational Programming.

Not gonna lie, folks. It's pretty fucking weird. Our first-person narrator is the computer system running a bunch of technology being used to brainwash women, and I tried to give it a voice that was computerish enough to be true to the intent, but not so robotic that it kills the story. I have no fucking clue if I succeeded, honestly, but I giggled a lot at the attempt. So make of it what you will, and I hope you enjoy!

Also, unrelated but very exciting, I have finished the incredibly involved revisions and rewrites to my next book, The Gamemaster's Screen. This was a BEAST of a project, both writing and revising. Definitely a learning experience in how much harder books are to get right when they're less fluffy. Not at all to knock my fluffy books (and fluffy probably isn't the right word to describe something like Harmony Reed, but I'm super burned out of seeking out perfect phrasing). Fluffy is awesome and lovable and relaxing. But having to storyboard and be intentional with foreshadowing and blahdy blah... whew. Anyway, I'm freaking DONE. :D Unfortunately, my artist is still finishing up the cover for me. It should be done very soon, and I promise it's gonna look amazing. Honestly gonna be hard to go back to cheaping out and stamping some words on a picture of some thematically selected hottie after this (but yes, I will definitely be doing that for smaller projects, so don't get too excited.) So as soon as it's ready, I will let y'all know!

More to come.

Comments

WDB

"That’s computerist, and I’ve always considered myself to be PC." ... ... Come ON.

WDB
>>33719402

Okay, that was really cute. Great work!

icebear
>>33719402

Yeah, early on I think I wanted Omni to be a little funnier, then I soon decided to (mostly) be more clinical and have the humor come more from circumstance than narration, but by the time I got around to editing, I loved the stupid joke too much to delete it. :)

WDB
>>33719402

Don't ever delete the stupid jokes! I *love* the stupid jokes! And that "Come ON" was partly like "You can't throw a joke like that at me in the first few paragraphs! I've got seventeen pages to read, you gotta *pace yourself*." Second place for Best Joke (I legit love that PC joke) has to go to "For more information, please see the ASCC’s website or contact future former Associate Director Elizabeth Wiehl." The construction of that joke, like... *chef's kiss*.

Anonymous
>>33719402

I really enjoyed reading this from an unconventional perspective. One of my favorite stand alone shorts for sure :D

Anonymous

Overall I found the story to be good. Not amazing, not bad. Very interesting premise. The human characters were kinda “meh”. It’s hard to care one way or another about Peter and Jenny, but I suppose that they’re really just the supporting cast. The computer was the real main character. Speaking of which I work as a software engineer and, if this scenario were true, the AI powering this computer is really something else. A computer that actually thinks to itself in the same way that a human would (rather than just using natural language as a user interface) is so much more advanced than anything we have. Why bother using it to brainwash random girls when every tech giant would pay millions (billions?) to license this technology for their products? That kind of money could net you an entire harem of bimbos if you wanted. Random Comments: It slightly bothers me that the mp3 filenames aren’t numbered and seem to follow no naming convention. It’d quickly grow nightmarish to tell slutlegion.mp3 apart from Slutlegion.mp3. Based on how it simulates human thinking it would seem that Omni’s AI is powered by a neural network, but then it wouldn’t make sense for Omni to refer to how he was “programmed”. Neural networks are trained to do things, not programmed. Maybe the user (Peter in this case) writes a small script describing what he wants to do, which is then interpreted by the neural network? Maybe a separate UX was created to streamline interacting with Omni for smart-home purposes? Some of Jen’s numbers seemed interesting. Like when "frequency of masturbating during conversations with devices increased from 0% the week of June 24t​h​ to 33% during the following week”. Does this mean she never used to masturbate while conversing with devices, but she started to do so at a rate equal to 50% of her previous masturbating activities? Or does it mean that she maintained a steady level of masturbating, but started to talk to the devices while doing so 33% of the time?

icebear
>>33725327

I was hoping somebody would call me on my total ignorance of IT. :D It deserves pointing out that I was meddling with powers beyond my control. I suppose I hadn't considered so much that Omni was thinking the narration so much as conveniently articulating (in a quasi-humanish voice) the amusing portions of his interactions. To your comments: - YES. Peter's casual indifference borders on ineptitude in a bunch of ways. In a more serious story, I would have to punish the hell out of him for his sloppiness. - If I were designing Omni, I might try implementing an static-negative matrix to reduce ambient data bleed, then tweak the HHC protocols to maximize output of his BIOS interface. (My friends and family have had to suffer through many such attempts at inventing jargon for things I totally don't understand. I'm pretty competent at infuriatingly unaware gibberish for auto maintenance as well! :D) - For that particular statistic, I believe the intent was to convey that she had previously never dialogued with Omni when it was using its default voice, but started doing so about a third of the time after it switched to Peter's. But I can see how it's not clear. Somebody really ought to develop standardized measurements for a lot of this stuff.

Anonymous
>>33725327

I give Peter like... six months before he accidentally turns himself into a bimbo while trying to quit smoking. Serves him right for naming the files SmokingSTOP.mp3 and SmokingHOT.mp3.

icebear

Real question: If you're in Peter's position, 46 campus apartment wired for brainwashing collegiate hotties. Do you assign one of them to yourself so you have easy proximity to your harem, then disable every smart device in the joint, or do you accept your current housing assignment elsewhere on campus and deal with the commute (or delay on delivery)? Is convenience of proximity worth a ~2% reduction in offerings?

WDB
>>33744865

As someone with, like, zero impulse control, you *absolutely* move in. Why drive yourself to a restaurant if you could live with a team of cooks dedicated to satiating your appetites? And, man, on the point of Peter's harem... I really liked this story. I really liked the viewpoint of Omni. It was a fun story. But, man, it broke my heart a bit to have something like that epic payoff be left to the imagination. (The athletic director quit her job! To be a student! For Peter's benefit!) I wish I could have gotten a more dialogue-y version of that part of the story. It's too good to be left vague!

icebear
>>33744865

I think I'd be too nervous about getting Neighbors-From-Back-When'ed, brainwashed by subliminals coming through the walls that aren't even intended for me. I lived in college residence halls for a lot of years, and those walls can be pretty thin in places, especially the newer remodeled buildings. And yeah, I hear ya. I kept finding myself wanting to do more scenes and less of what wound up going on the page, but I remembered that I was writing for a silly prompt and not to do the usual smut routine and tried to be disciplined. Sometimes I have a little fun with wanting more than I give myself. :)

Anonymous
>>33744865

Easy. I live in one and use it to craft the best version of myself. Am I a smoker? Do I have a drinking problem? Not anymore. Do I eat too much and never exercise? Now I'm a health-nut-gym-rat. Am I messy/sloppy? Now I’m a neat-freak. Can I only take advantage of my hotties 2-3 times a day? Now I have limitless stamina. Before you know it I won’t even need brain-washing to get girls. Speaking of what I’d do in Peter’s shoes, I’d skip the collegiate hotties and gather all the ugliest social outcasts on campus instead. A couple months living in my apartments and they’re all Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue material. Afterwards, just for funsies, I’ll set them free from my control and see how long it takes for them to backslide and come crawling back to me. I'm thinking they'll have to really beg for it before I let them back into the fold.