Insistent Assistant 20 (Patreon)

Commissioned by Kejmur

Insistent Assistant

Chapter 20

-VB-

With Jack’s Compass in my possession and pointing towards my “greatest desire,” I had a heading that would work regardless of the condition of the seas or some other bullshit that this world could throw at me.

I also had a crew, many of whom were trained by me and Jack, and trusted my life with them, and they felt the same with their lives in my hands.

And man, did I not want to disappoint them.

But when my Assistant turned from Jack Sparrow to her, it changed a few things about the leadership dynamics. See, Jack was sly and cunning. Thorkell may have been a leader, but he was good-natured enough to go along with what I wanted despite being the stronger between the two of us.

Yes, he claimed himself the Assistant but how far would that “programming” go to overcome the innate nature of the person it copied itself from? What about whatever connections they had prior?

Because, I swear to God, if Assistant ends up with the copy of some Cthulhu priest, then I’m just gonna run for my life.

And … she was as close to one as you could get without actually being a Cthulhu priest.

“Yes, and sometimes, wisdom is frequently a kick to the head,” Illaoi - the Truth Bearer of Nagakabouros, the Prophet of the Great Kraken, and Shatterer of Your Reality - nodded commiseratingly with one of the older members of my crew.

In a way, it made a lot of sense for Illaoi to have been chosen just as Jack Sparrow and Thorkell had been. Thorkell was a vikinger. Jack Sparrow was a pirate. Illaoi… Well, considering that her people do regularly do live sacrifices and feed their souls to their serpent goddess…

She fit the themes of my summons so far - villain and sea.

She spoke with that stereotypical Caribbean accent but unlike most Caribbean people, Illaoi was not one for noisy parties, flowing booze, and tropical fun.

No, she considered herself a teacher, which was why all non-working crewmates were doing planks on the top deck of the ship while Illaoi stood to the side to potential converts to the faith of Nagakabouros.

‘I swear if she succeeds in actually dragging the consciousness of a bloody god into this world, I’m going to have an aneurysm.’

“Why planks?” I asked Illaoi as I walked up to her side.

She stared down at me.

Yes, stared down at me. I was a six-footer, but Illaoi was just that big.

“Well,” she spoke, dragging out the syllable as she looked back to my men and women. “They are squishy.”

I glanced at the crew and their sweat dripping onto the deck.

“... All humans are squishy,” I replied.

“Then they will die squishy,” she harrumphed. “Life is about being in motion. To stay still is to die, and when you lazy around, you force your body to stay still.”

“So what, exercising is being in motion when they are obviously not in motion?”

She snorted at my attempt to give my crew a break.

It’s been two days since Jack became Illaoi, and the crew had gotten used to her. Somewhat.

See, Jack was a sly man. He could convince you to do something, even if you might feel dirty about it afterward.

Illaoi?

She just hefted her “eye of her god” up and then said one phrase. “Or I can make you.”

Yup. No convince or persuasion with the muscly woman of the Serpent Isles. Either you survived under her or you were “never meant to live for long.” Biased survivalism at its finest.

Now, Illaoi initially wanted to spar with me. She claimed she wanted to fight me to see how truly well adapted I had become since “she” first showed up. She knew how well I had adapted; she was Jack and Thorkell, after all. However, all of my Assistants all insisted on sparring to a degree, and I knew for a fact that I grew more powerful the more I sparred.

It was a subtle mechanic of my power I hadn’t discovered until I figured it out yesterday.

Fighting her, however, would be a disaster for me. Yes, I was strong. Yes, I could do some superhuman feats. No, there was no way I could fight a woman who summoned tentacles of her literal goddess to smack people with. And break their perception of reality.

Fortunately for me, we were on a ship and no one wanted to die by sinking the boat, so our spar had been postponed.

“Land ho!”

I closed my eyes and sighed, and heard her menacing chuckle from my left.

“Yes, it is soon time,” she drawled, stretching out the soon while leaning forward and resting an arm on her leg. She glanced at me from the corner of her eyes. “Are you ready to learn, student?”

To Illaoi, I was not her master but her student. For all of life was the student of the prophet of Nagakabouros.

“Yeah, yeah,” I grumbled.

-VB-

Some hours later when the noon sun bathed the world with its unrelenting light above our heads, Illaoi and I found ourselves on the beach of some uninhabited island that the rest of my crew were exploring for fresh fruits and meats.

I was pretty confident about their strength, so I didn’t fret about them getting seriously hurt.

But me?

I feared Illaoi would drag me aboard the ship after the spar.

And from the glint in her eyes, she knew it, too.

“You noticed, did you not?” she asked me while swinging her totemic metal ball around like how a grade-schooler might swing around a dodge ball.

“Notice what?” I asked her.

“You grow stronger faster when you fight! It is the essence of survival!”

“Well, duh-”

And that was the start.

She swung her giant ball down, and a transparent green tentacle sprouted out of nowhere and slammed down on the beach right where I had been. I had already dodged, but I wasn’t happy about getting interrupted.

“That’s rude! Cutting someone off like that!” I yelled at her with a scowl as I pulled my axes from my waist belt and brandished them.

The big woman just laughed, making her rock hard muscly form bounce as she drew the ball back toward her. “Do I look like I care, student?”

With a growl, I rushed forward.

She swung again but this time she did it horizontally. Another green tentacle lashed out at me, and I jumped up, gaining just enough altitude to dodg-.

The tentacle spasmed mid-strike, and the spasmic motion was enough for it to strike me right in the ribs. I tumbled in the air as I was thrown off my trajectory.

“Fu-!” And then I splashed into the ocean.

“Come on, Alan! You can do better than a Serpent Isle orphan!” she taunted as she hefted the ball - which was made completely out of metal and as big as her own torso - onto her shoulder.

I coughed as I pushed myself up from the ankle-high seawater.

“You are too slow!”

Before I could dodge, I felt something lash out and grab onto a part of me that wasn’t … real?

No, it was real, but -.

When I looked up, my eyes widened.

Illaoi just pulled my soul out of my body! My soul was still tethered to me; she couldn’t break that without killing me. But that wasn’t the point.

She began punching my soul!

Punching!

My soul!

“What the hell, bitch!” I shouted and rushed her again.

With a smirk, she lined me and my soul up and struck down with another transparent green tentacle that was wider than I was thick.

This time, I didn’t bother with dodging. Instead, I swung my axes in half circles at the tentacles and struck them just as they met the arc of my strike. The first strike somehow cut halfway into a spiritual tentacle of a god and then the second strike sliced it right off.

Illaoi just laughed, either not caring or ignoring the fact that I just sliced through a projection of Nagakabouros. I was surprised myself but I didn’t have time to remain still.

SHE WAS STILL PUNCHING MY SOUL!

I sped up even more and was upon her like a blitz of lightning.

(okay, I wasn’t as fast as lightning but I crossed a dozen yards in under half a second!)

She switched targets… not.

She gave my soul one final bash in the head with her ball, and the soul, crumpled and “bloody” got sucked back into me.

That’s… that’s when I really had my “perception of reality” shattered.

I froze as the world gained a bluish tint, and saw through my own eyes the souls of the world.

Illaoi did not stand in front of me like a dark skinned, muscly woman with a penchant for “brutal love.”

I saw a woman that was a goddess that was many and not one.

But I still swung.

And Illaoi swung, too.

My axes met her ball and bounced off.

And then she punched me right in the jaw. Sideways.

My skull rattled and everything just turned dark.

As I fell unconscious, I heard her speak one more time.

“Good enough.”