The App 14 (Patreon)

The App

Chapter 14

-VB-

-The Zoo- Chat

(the super secret chat room within the Tavern that Mel operates personally where people she picked out comes to discuss anything and everything while within the confines of Mel’s strict rules on Equivalent Exchange and Secrecy)

[Grey Rat]: Bruh, was it any of us who bought the nuke stuff?

[Tiny Lion]: No. I would have bought it myself, but the guys who ran the auction kept me out of it.

[Pygmy Elephant]: Not me. I don’t even like nukes. Nukes are horribly inefficient.

[Spotted Owl]: I don’t even have the money for it.

[Spotted Owl]: Would discussing this fall inside the rules of Equivalent Exchange?

[African Hyena]: Mel is upset that someone used her Tavern rooms for it, so no, it will not fall into the standard rules for our Zoo and the Taverns. It’s a free for all. In fact, you all should have already seen the Wanted poster Mel put up.

[Spotted Owl]: … poster?

[California Newt]: It’s on the front page of the Tavern website. Lemme tell you, the PRT is pisssseed.

Bucky Capybara has entered the chat.

[California Newt]: holy fuck, capy’s in the chat. This is srs shit now.

[California Newt]: someone’s gonna fucking die, and it ain’t Mel or Hyena.

[California Newt]: so one of us actually bought nuke?

[California Newt]: it has to be Lion. he’s the only one with connections for that kinda thing.

[Tiny Lion]: do not even fucking joke about that, you creepy motherfucker. I did nothing to warrant capy’s attention.

[Spotted Owl]: Hi. Who are you that has Newt so jittery?

[Bucky Capybara]: hello. You must be Bagrat, right? It’s been a while since I went on PHO. I am who you may call Mel’s investigative eye. I find the issue, Hyena cleans it up.

[Spotted Owl]: Oh. And how do you do it?

[Bucky Capybara]: like this.

[California Newt]: *prays for Owl’s brain matter.*

[White Jaguar]: Owl is too curious for his own good.

[Bucky Capybara]: happy?

[Spotted Owl]: No. I need to go lay down. Fuck you.

Spotted Owl has left the chat.

[Bucky Capybara]: fair.

[Bucky Capybara]: ah, he left.

[White Jaguar]: what did you expect? You basically mindraped him.

[California Newt]: the man asked.

[Tiny Lion]: unfortunate. Have you cleared us yet, capy?

[Bucky Capybara]: yeah, all of the regulars are clear.

[Tiny Lion]: See? It ain’t fucking me.

[Tiny Lion]: I’m not stupid enough to want Hyena coming after my ass.

[African Hyena]: but you are okay with Mel coming after your ass?

[Tiny Lion]: I have this head canon that Mel is hot, and I want to be dominated.

[Tiny Lion]: wait, I meant to erase that

[Tiny Lion]: nobody screenshot that shit

[Bucky Capybara]: too late

[White Jaguar]: XDXDXDXXDXDXDXDXD

[Tiny Lion]: bruh, you can’t do this me.

[African Hynea]: well, I know who you are and you know who I am. I just might show this to your wife.

[Tiny Lion]: BRUH

[California Newt]: well, ain’t that a wonderfully useful blackmail material provided by his truly?

[California Newt]: hey, I might erase mine if you lower the tariff on alcohol sold to your country by my company.

[Tiny Lion]: name?

[California Newt]: sent.

[Tiny Lion]: done. 5% down. Zoo rules. I want all of your copies of that screenshot gone and never to be used by you.

[California Newt]: pleasure doing business with you.

Spotted Owl has entered the chat.

[Spotted Owl]: I’m back. Just needed a bit to lay down.

[California Newt]: XDXDXDXDXDXDXXDXDXDXDXD

[African Hyena]: I want tax cuts, and you’ll see mine gone.

[Tiny Lion]: you can’t do this to me, hyena. We’re friends!

[African Hyena]: It’s not my fault you have certain kinks.

[Spotted Owl]: what the fuck did I just walk into?

[California Newt]: lion fucked up hard in front of the regulars except you.

[Spotted Owl]: aww. What’d he do?

[Tiny Lion]: don’t u dare, newt

[California Newt]: srry, Owl. Zoo chat rules.

[Spotted Owl]: did yall cooperate to get me off the chat or something? And where’s Capy?

[Bucky Capybara]: here. I just finished doing the final rounds on all of the non-regulars. It wasn’t any one of us.

[Spotted Owl]: wasn’t who doing what?

[Tiny Lion]: the nuke. Capy, what do you want for the screenshot being gone forever?

[Bucky Capybara]: ? I already sold it to Mel.

[Tiny Lion]: YOU FUCKER

[Spotted Owl]: scandalous?

[White Jaguar]: kind of? It’s the internet, so the most we could do is tease him about it for years on end. Well, internet plus Zoo

Ironwood Tree has entered the chat.

[White Jaguar]: oh no.

Tiny Lion has left the chat.

[Spotted Owl]: hi! Who are you?

[Ironwood Tree]: I’m Tiny Lion’s wife. He just left, didn’t he?

[California Newt]: yeah. Say hi to the kids for me, tree.

[Bucky Capybara]: yes.

[African Hyena]: Yes.

[Spotted Owl]: yes.

Ironwood Tree has left the chat.

[African Hyena]: the man wanted his kink. It just ain’t coming for it the way he wants it.

[California NEwt]: XDXDXDXDXD