Celestial Hymn 32 (Patreon)

Celestial Hymn
Chapter 32

-VB-

“... Seven be Blessed.”

Robert did not like to call upon the Sevens. He thought that the Faith was “bullshit useless” and merely a decorative tool used by the lords and Faith’s own leadership for-profit and vainglory.

Never let it be said that Robert was stupid or uneducated. His brother simply did not care enough to use his brain because his brawn was bigger, but even that brawn was useless when the heart of that brawn could not have its desire.

For Robert to call upon the Seven in a positive light showed just how shocked the man was.

Stannis stood off to the side as Robert nearly manhandled Shireen to see that she truly was cured of her scars.

“So it’s not just flashy magic he does,” Robert muttered as he stood up and turned to look at him in the eyes. “Well, I guess I really did well in betrothing him to Myrcella. I just have to worry about him assassinating Joffrey and taking over.”

Stannis froze. “Robert, he has -.”

“Done us all, every single Baratheon, a favor. I know. He made the Stormlands prosperous, gave us a bunch of trinkets and capes, and healed your daughter of the scars of Greyscales. This doesn’t change the fact that he’s also consulted Tywin nor the way he has earned favors in the past week or so with half a dozen Crownlands lords.”

He frowned. Would Lord Marris go for such ambition?

Stannis gestured for Davos, who'd been waiting stoically to the side, and the Onion Knight took Shireen to her room in the Red Keep.

"Even if he doesn't want the crown, he sure as hell isn't obedient like a Labnister dog," Robert continued after the door closed. "And Joffrey is not smart enough to not antagonize Alan, and you heard what he did when he got pissed!"

"Murdered a member of the Faith in summary execution."

It wasn't just but it was within Lord Marris's rights to execute someone for trying to blackmail him. In fact, Stannis would have kept the septon around for a little longer to make an example out of him.

"Exactly! If you think the gold shit that I have to call my firstborn and heir is going to be calm and calculating beyond his latest shit show, then I'm overestimating your intelligence, be abuse Joffrey sure as hell will fuck himself over!"

"... why not just change who the heir is?"

"What?"

"Why not make Tommen your heir if you think Joffrey will cause so much issue?" he suggested. "You did give Renly Storm's End and not me. That's a precedent you can use."

Robert grimaced. "I get it. I fucked you over. I was just trying to show you that you were my heir by giving you Dragonstone!"

Stannis snorted. "If you say so."

Robert grumbled. "If you hate Dragonstone that much, why not exchange it for some other land my Crown holds?"

"It's not Storm's End, which is my right as the second born."

"Well, I can't just remove Renly from being the Lord Paramount of the Stormlands, now can I?!"

Then he grumbled and then sighed. "Tywin probably doesn't care who gets to be on the throne. Ned won't care. The Vale won't care. The Reach won't care. The Dorne fucking hates us so they don't care."

"But the Stormlands and the Crownlands will."

"They sure as fuck will! Maybe if Tommen was only a year younger, I could set up a sparring match. Joffrey is horrible at swordsmanship, so even half as dedicated Tommen, with all of his gentleness, could still win. I could use that as an excuse to make Tommen, a strong heir, as the heir, but their ages are too fucking far apart and Tommen too young for that."

"Is Joffrey truly that bad?"

"If I didn't fuck Cersei, then I would be sure that ship's not mine, but I fucked the bitch. So no, that shit is mine! I don't even know what's wrong with him, just that he's not right as a person! What kid splits open a pregnant cat's stomach to 'show dad the baby kittens'?"

Stannis silently agreed with his older brother for the first time in a long time. Even the few times he's seen Joffrey was enough to tell him that there was something wrong with the crown prince. Spoiled didn't cut it.l, and none of the Baratheon brothers ever acted like Joffrey. It was an issue deeper than that which surrounded the crown prince.

Lord Marris also avoided the crown prince. Why?

Lord Arryn also died in his sleep, yet he had actually called up on him, which was why he managed to come to King's Landing within days of Lord Marris's arrival instead of weeks. Why did the deceased Lord Arryn call him?

Something was amiss in King's Landing.

He intended to find out what that was. He would have to enlist the help of Lord Marris and his magic on occasion.

“I will try my best to dissuade him,” Stannis grunted as he turned to leave. “He is not a Baratheon anyway; he does not have the right to sit upon the Iron Throne.”