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Today is February 1, 2009.

■

♦Topic: What Did You Ask Mel?

In: Boards ► General Forums ► Tech Talk

Sophisticated_Simpleton (Original Poster)
Posted on January 20th, 2009:
The rule of this thread is simple. You state what subscription you have, the question you asked, and the answer you received. Your question and answer has to follow the forum rules, so don’t be a douche and get this thread locked!
But I do want to see some interesting tidbits, ya know?
I’ll start us off.
Subscription: Connective
Question: I live in D*******. Where can I go to find a good and reliable autoshop?
Response: the closest trustworthy autoshop is five blocks down south of you and goes by “Charlie and Charlie’s Autobody.”

It was really good service, so I am happy. I probably also saved more than I spent on Ask Mel sub, so … this is a good deal, methinks.

Erasmus
Posted on January 20th, 2009:
Casual
Q - What is the lifespan of human species?
A - On Earth Bet, the average lifespan of homo sapien sapiens is 60 years old, which is ten years less than Earth Aleph.

Oof.

Judge
Posted on January 20th, 2009:
Subscription: Investigative
Question: How many capes are there in New England?
Answer: 3,296

The answer is different from the official PRT estimate of 2,500. Eight hundred cape difference. Holy hell, where are all of these capes? How does the government fucking miss eight hundred tactical mini-nukes?

Bagrat (Veteran Member)(The Guy in the Know)
Posted January 20th, 2009:
Sub - Investigative
Question - With a direct nation-state government and USA state government comparison, how corrupt is the PRT?

Answer - Spain/Maine

For those of you who don’t know about the corruption index, Spain is not extremely high on lack of corruption, but they are still high up there for not being corrupt. Maine is within the top ten of USA states for corruption, but it’s close to the bottom of that top ten.

So… PRT is definitely more corrupt than the rest of USA.

Yikes.

XxVoid_CowboyxX
Posted on January 20th, 2009:

Casual, Q: Does Bagrat have insider information on PRT?
Answer: Need Higher Subscription
This is rigged! [Removed]

Edited: removed rant. -Mod

?LAKiller245
Posted on January 20th, 2009:
Everyone ignore void. Void be void, so void be voided.
Subscription - Connective
Question: How old is Void_Cowboy?
Answer: Young Teenager

So basically not even in high school yet.

Edit: user has received in infraction for this post. You know why.

Jayjay1919
Posted on January 20th, 2009:
Subscription: Casual
Question: Will I find love?
Answer: Eventually.

I’m not sure if Mel was being honest or not.

UnhappyMan (Veteran Member)
Posted on January 20th, 2009:
Does anyone have Regional subscription?

Mj22916JJJJJJ
Posted on January 20th, 2009:
Sub: Investigative
Question: How many people have Regional subscription as of today?
Answer: 8.

Fucking eight? Mel doesn’t answer who has those eight.

EUTotemist (Unverified Cape)
Posted on January 20th, 2009:
S - Inv.
Q - I live in France. Does anyone in France have regional sub for Ask Mel?
A - No.

Well, that sucks.

092314Mara
Posted on January 20th, 2009:
Subscription: Connective
Question: I live in (my home location). How safe am I from cape and gang violence? Violence in general?
Answer: Expect the next gunshot in three days and, after that, every five days.

I guess that answers my real question. You can use Ask Mel! to determine how safe your neighborhood is, because Mel got the answer perfectly right.

AnachronisticTiger
Posted on January 20th, 2009:
Subscription - Investigative
Question: Is my wife cheating on me?
A - No

CassieM
Posted on January 20th, 2009:
@AnachronisticTiger
You actually asked something like that?

TabooInTheMaking
Posted on January 20th, 2009:
Sub: Investigative
Question: How many bribes has Jim Traficant received?
Answer: None.
Okay, so I did on purpose, knowing that J. Traficant has been convicted of corruption already.
Point: You have to be very specific about questions like this, because Jim didn’t receive any bribe; he took campaign funds for his personal use, which is different. It is still corruption, but Mel answered my question as directly, not what was unasked.

Also, I’m noticing that simpler questions - ex: “what is the average dick length of the Canadian Goose?” - gets a much longer answer compared to more complex questions involving people - ex: my question above.
Make sure to ask a lot of questions regarding even a single subject, because otherwise, you might get an answer that might be technically right but not what was implied.

MagnaDickus (Verified Cape)(the Elite)
Posted on January 20th, 2009:
Sub: Investigative
Ques: What is the civilian ID of *****?
Ans: Are you sure you want to ask this question? Answering this question opens you and your associates to similar retaliatory questions.
I didn’t ask after that.

TerribleTurtle
Posted on January 20th, 2009:
So this is not what I asked, but what others on other forums have asked. I’m just transposing interesting ones here. Whether they are true or not is up to you to decide.
From Pasty Patrons
*TrukKaKa
*2009.01.19
**Q: Mel, what is the likelihood that W*****’s stock will be higher than today a week from now?
**A: Need higher subscription
**Got higher subscription. Asked again.
**A: Need higher subscription
**Got investigative.
**A: need higher subscription.
**F**king bulls**t, man.
*TotororoRORORORARARA
*2009.01.19
**I think you’re being too specific about a very volatile investment option. I asked a very different question. I asked Mel if Walmart was a good company to invest in. I got connective. The answer I got?
**Yes.
**Just yes. At least I got an answer.

From SpaceCuddles
*TotallyFabulouslyAtrocious January 20, 2009
*So I asked Mel “Mel, what is the likelihood that USA has an ongoing conspiracy?”
*Mel said “100%.”
*Guys. We need to find out what conspiracy it is. Mel won’t tell me more than that until I get higher subscription, but I have investigative. Shouldn’t that be enough? Who the hell even has Regional right now?

So… an ongoing conspiracy that Mel does not expand upon, or more likely, won’t expand upon for anyone less than Regional or even higher subscription.

TheQContinuum
Posted on January 20th, 2009:
Casual
Mel, how old are you?
Mel doesn’t like the question. Does Mel have to answer?

Mel, how old are you?
Mel is upset with your question. Mel feels uncomfortable.
Mel, how old are you?
Mel cannot answer that question.
Mel, how old are you?
Mel will call the cops on you.

SpecificProtagonist
Posted on January 20th, 2009:
QC was asking a legitimate question!
Also, mine.
Casual
Question: Mel, what is the best relationshipping between capes?
Answer: Thinker and Warrior. You can’t argue about it with how long they were together.
I never heard of them. Does anyone know who they are?

Windsore
Posted on January 20th, 2009:
Connective
Q: Mel, what is the lead concentration level for my city’s drinking water?
A: 0.05

Okay, so there’s lead but within “safe regulatory” limits. Fuck. I’m drinking lead D:

Yojillo
Posted on January 20th, 2009:
Fuck, did you have to ask a question like that? Now, I’m fucking curious.
Connective
Q: Mel, what’s my city’s drinking water lead concentration?
A: 0.21

… Fuck. Fuckity fuck.

MayNotBeLegend
Posted on January 20th, 2009:
Investigative
Q: what is the lead level in New York City?
A: 0.19 on average
I have people to talk to.

Condisgov
Posted on January 20th, 2009:
Investigative
Q: Who do I talk to in my town to not have to deal with regulations?
A: M**** M*****.

I’ll be back after arresting someone.

TrackNine
Posted on January 20th, 2009:
Investigative
Question: Where is the Slaughterhouse Nine right now?
Answer: 41.106492,-77.687281, heading west

Can someone check if this is true?

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