A Lewd Cultivator in Brockton Bay 50 (Patreon)

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A Lewd Cultivator in Brockton Bay
Chapter 50

-VB-

“Oh darling, you. Are. Perfect.”

I did not like the attention of the director of cosmetics of this movie production.

Maybe it was because the director of cosmetics was a middle-aged man and his hands were going everywhere on Vicky … except he was being respectful and professional. His words, however, dripped with oil and honey.

Vicky, for her part, looked abashed as everyone around her showered her with praise for her beauty.

When the director had gotten me to join the movie production for my part in causing disruption, Vicky had joined in as well and the director was perfectly fine with that.

So now, I was the “evil villain” Brute who would be holding the cruise ship captive while Vicky would be one of the heroines who would make me realize the folly and cruelty of my actions.

I must admit, however, that the director of cosmetics and his cohort of make-up artists did great.

Victoria Dallon transformed from a pretty girl into a beautiful woman in her prime.

How great did she look?

If I wasn’t paying back to the director, then I would be taking Vicky back to our room and not leaving it for a long time. Amy would be there to film it, too, if the appearance of a phone stand in her possession that she used along with her phone to film Vicky right now was any indication.

“Good job beating up fake villains,” Amy said seriously without looking my way. Her eyes were glued to the screen as she captured every single second of Vicky’s transformation and more.

I just grunted.

“So what exactly are they having you doing?” she asked me.

“I have to wear a mask they’re going to give me, do some poses, and do some semi-serious sparring with the rogue Brute stuntman they hired for the scene. I have to make sure to show that I am a competent fighter but lose because I make a critical mistake.”

“Like what?”

“I’m going to ask them, just to make sure, but it’ll be something like overreaching, overcommitting, and over-whatever.”

“So just like any real cape fight?”

“More or less. Their fake villain made that hard, but now that I’m here, I guessed that they’re going through with their original script. Apparently, the director is a bit of a motormouth and told me straight up that this movie would have been horrible if they had to go with the investor approved B-rated fight scene.”

She hummed. “Who is this movie supposed to be marketed for?”

“Adults.”

Amy’s head snapped towards me. “What?”

“Apparently, the main actress is a porn star? So she and the ‘heroic’ rogue will be doing some serious bedroom scenes, though they’re going to gloss over the details in favor of the romantic tale they hope the movie will spin.”

She looked downtrodden. “Aw, the actress looked cute, too.”

I snorted. “If you want to look for porn, I’m not going to stop you. I might even bang you to it.”

She blushed a little along her cheeks, and I laughed.

“So are you also going to be shit-talking?”

“... I mean, I usually don’t do that, you know it.”

“No, you shit-talk. Remember the Fallen?”

“I shit-talked idiots who thought they were hot shit. I didn’t shit-talk the Empire before I killed all of the idiots who decided to break and enter my home.”

I heard some of the people who have been eavesdropping slowly shift away from us.

Amy noticed it, too, but she didn’t comment on it.

“You know, I can also give you a cosmetic update, if only for the movie.”

I glanced at her. “You can?”

She smirked at me as she turned to face me in full. “Of course! You think you’re the only one experimenting with new ways to fight?” she asked before reaching down to her bag. She popped out a seed and let it rest on her face up palm. She blew on it, and it sprouted. “Now, this is supposed to me my prototype ‘plant’ armor, so hold still as it grows on you.”

She pressed the seed against the middle of my bare chest, and it exploded in growth.

With groans and creaks, the seed soon became a deep blue bark that spread outward from the center of my chest. It wrapped itself around every single inch of my skin and under my swimming trunks.

When the transformation came to an end, I found myself with a stretchy wooden second skin. Its deep blue barks contrasted against the dark orange veins that spread sparsely throughout the surface. I held my hands up and turned it around.

Damn, this looked great. Like, I wouldn’t mind wearing this out to fight since I no longer had my adaptive and regenerative power armor.

I glanced up and saw the director, who had been notified of the circumstances by his aides, gawk at me.

I opened my lips to speak and felt the bark around my lip area of the bark armor break and creak before snapping open.

He looked happy.

-VB-

XX years later…

“Oooh!!!” XXXX and YYYY ooh’ed as they watched the screen as the movie that spawned the multi-decade cartoon series “Shantyman and Australian Adventures!” played out.

Shantyman’s greatest enemy and rival, Kei Shen, dropped down from the top floor of the cruise ship and landed on the wooden deck in a three-point heroic landing without causing a single wooden board to break.

“Ho~!” Kei Shen, the martial artist villain who has conquered and plunged New Zealand into turmoil, grinned. His black spandex suit showed each and every single muscle twitching and flexing with every single move, no matter how small. “Shantyman, I did not know you were in town today!”

Shantyman, a fledgling hero, growled with a grimace as he faced off against a Tyrant he knew he could not win. ‘I can’t win against him!’ he thought, his inner voice reaching the audience. ‘But if I don’t fight…!’

His eyes panned around and saw the terrified civilians.

“I have come to stop your evil plan!” he declared. “EN GARDE!”

He jumped -!

The screen blinked off.

XXXX and YYYY snapped their head towards their mom.

“MOM!” the two children whined.

“You can watch it after you two do your homework,” the blonde woman chided. “I swear, ever since Amy left, all of you think that I’m some kind of an easy-going mom. I swear I’m not! Now, get to your rooms! I want to see those homework papers after you are done with them!”

The two discouraged children let their shoulders droop and dragged their feet up the stairs.

“Mom” huffed. “I swear. Amy and Alan better come home soon, because taking care of six kids by myself is hard as … heck.”