Cantankerous Cheater 6 (Patreon)

Sponsored by southmonk

Cantankerous Cheater
Chapter 6

-VB-

Jasperlode mine was … It really didn’t differ from the Fargodeep Mine. Though this Azeroth was a real world and I a person in said world, I could have mistaken one mine for the other.

That said, the kobolds living in this mine were of a different sort. Unlike the kobolds living in Fargodeep Mine, these guys looked bigger and experienced.

Still, what could they do against a spinning sawblade?

But more than that, what could they do if I blocked off the mine’s only exit and started a fire inside?

I looked around again from behind a thick tree trunk next west of the mine. As soon as I cleared this mine, Stormwind could send their miners back in here. It’ll make defending themselves easier. Now that I thought about it, marauding races like the kobolds that always came to take over someone else’s mine were like villains of Earth Bet: thieving pieces of shits that needed extermination for the betterment of everyone else.

Grinning, I slowly pulled out my roadsign cleaver.

Below me, there were twelve kobolds outside the mine, hauling rock and standing guard in equal measure.

I quickly cast five separate protection buffs and then jumped down onto the nearest kobold. It squawked and said no more when my cleaver nearly bisected him on the spot.

“Come on, you rats!” I cackled.

This was fun. If I wasn’t here to just allow the situation to die down back home, then I would certainly make adventuring my life here. What other job gave you the blank check on unmitigated mayhem?!

I didn’t bother with using any caster spells; I just hacked and swung away as kobolds jumped at me.

I jumped forward, planting my cleaver into the ground, and used its weight to dodge two strikes coming from my sides by pulling myself up and above the blade before coming back down feet first onto the head of an unfortunate kobold holding a shovel. My weight coupled with the force of the fall drove the kobold’s head straight into the ground, and I heard its jaw shatter into a thousand pieces. That was before I gave it a good kick and caved its skull in.

‘[Seal of Righteousness],’ I intoned and felt the Light surge out from within me.

The remaining seven kobolds hesitated. Experienced as they may have looked, perhaps I was wrong about that!

Pulling my cleaver out of the ground, I jumped forward and slammed the blade into a kobold to my left. Seeing me jump into action and kill another one of their own, the rest of the kobolds charged with garbled shrieks.

I just turned on the spot and swung at them all.

Four got caught in my surprise wide-area attack, and only one actually died from it. The other three screamed as they fell back or to the side.

“[Moonfire]!” I shouted and felt the arcane might slam into one of the downed kobolds even as the last three … started to run. Their morale broke, and they were just trying to survive. “[Moonfire]! [Moonfire]! [Moonfire]!” I cast quickly, targeting the fleeing kobolds rather than the downed ones. They screeched and writhed as the arcane light ate away at their clothes and flesh. Then I looked to the kobold closest to dying. “[Soul Drain]!”

Purple light shot out and struck the kobold, and instantly killed it. I felt a soul shard settle into my inventory, and I grinned wickedly as I turned to the rest.

They looked at me in horror and screamed as I took their souls one by one.

I sighed in contentment when the last of the kobolds died and turned towards the entrance of the mine. There were no kobolds coming out, despite the fact that there had just been an intense if brief battle outside.

A bit confused, I peeked in.

Nothing.

Huh.

Well, now, I wasn’t sure before, but after actually having had killed these kobolds, I decided that these kobolds weren’t much of a threat like the ones in Fargodeep Mine.

Grinning, I stalked into the mine.

All I heard as I came across kobolds was the incoming sound of a level-up.

-VB-

I hummed happily as I washed my clothes and weapons on the river east of Jasperlode Mine. As blood squeezed out of my shirt, I wondered what kind of work Eastvale might have me do. In the game, Eastvale gave players a lot of tasks and served as a good leveling spot.

But I was already level 13 across the board except for Shaman. Eastvale was kind of not a good place for me anymore. If anything, I should be heading west and into Westfall.

… But then again, I was here to burn time, not level myself up. I was already pretty strong compared to most parahumans on Earth Bet.

I pulled out the shirt from the river and looked at it.

Almost all of the bloodstains had come out of it. Great. Now, I needed to do the pants for the last wash.

“Hey, you!”

I paused and looked to my right. Downriver from me, I saw a duo of Stormwind footsoldiers with their swords drawn.

I waved.

They hesitated before slowly approaching me. “Identify yourself!” the one at the front and with a nice round beard yelled at me.

“Name’s … Greg,” I replied. “Are you lot from Eastvale?”

“We are.”

“Oh good. The marshal sent me on my way here.” Then I paused. “Also, could you kindly tell the good marshal that I cleared out the Jasperlode Mine? There were a lot of kobolds, and they are going to stink up the place sooner or later.” I grinned at their stupified faces. “...Also, do you have soap? I kinda got messy and … well, blood.”

They just kept on staring rudely.

Rude.