Zabuza's S.Adventures 31 (Patreon)

Zabuza’s S.Adventures
Chapter 31

-VB-

Sex with his women calmed him down afterward.

However, they wanted to spar the day after.

And so three mothers and one father got into their mansion’s open-air lawn, and began beating the shit out of each other.

Now, it was more nuanced than “beating each other” like some plebian peasants in their married couple’s extreme argument.

(In Konohagakure, the man and the woman of the household fought regularly when they failed to establish hierarchy beforehand. Sufficed to say, whichever partner had ninjas in their family usually won. In that regard, Kirigakure was less [?] violent than Konohagakure. Some of those married couples' fights Zabuza had witnessed involved fireballs and burning forests.)

For example, Haku’s ice mirror transportation and ambush stood leagues above fireball spamming. While not on the same level as Haku, Eri and Tayuya also chose to attack from long range with kunai rather than risk hitting her ally.

It was a team-building and camaraderie-invoking exercise!

Except he was on the receiving end of their attacks.

Was this why Konoha’s men didn’t have more than one wife?

Because of this?

Another culturally different aspect had revealed itself to him, and he realized just how disadvantaged men were in Konohagakure compared to Kirigakure.

At least the women here were sexy just like his Eri.

… Haku counted as a Konoha woman, too, right? And Tayuya was officially his mistress, so she was a Konoha resident, too, right?

Zabuza stomped on the ground hard enough to bring his lunge to a stop and pushed back, leaning just enough so that the two needles and three kunai aimed at his head sailed past him with concerted whistles.

He grabbed the last kunai and flung it back at Eri, who tsked and dodged with ease.

Tayuya, on the other hand, continued her long-range assault, this time by launching some kind of sound vibration attack.

“Too weak,” he grunted before he pulled up his chakra and, instead of forming a jutsu, allowed it to react with his will. He stood his ground and roared.

The air vibrated to his will and Tayuya’s technique fizzled away.

“And you’re distracted.”

He didn't even turn around as he twisted his arm to catch Haku’s assault as she came out from an ice mirror at the ground, and then twisted around.

She let go of her needles to not get pulled along, but he used his twisting pull to instead throw the needles towards Tayuya.

Tayuya used the same jutsu to dispel his attack as he had done so previously with hers, but it left her momentarily open for retaliation.

It was a moment he didn’t get to take advantage of because Eri was there to cover for her. When Zabuza shot a water bullet, Eri pulled Tayuya away while firing a fireball at the water bullet to slow it down.

It showed down, alright, but it also created a smokescreen.

Something the trio had been doing as hard as they could to not allow him to create.

“CRUD!” Eri shrieked as Zabuza grinned and pulled on the evaporated waters of the water bullet as a catalyst for faster and more cost-effectiveness Hidden Mist Jutsu.

From there, it was his victory.

“Ah, come on, hon!” Tayuya faux-whined. “Let us win sometimes!”

“Nah, all of you need a strict teacher for the battlefield,” he rebutted.

This was one area of their home life he would not step back on. As the man of the house, he was responsible for the protection of their estate and household, and this included the training of all family members. Normally, a woman would not be involved in such, but then again, ninjas broke all sorts of rules and so kunoichi were not considered “normal” women who would be set aside - and even prevented - from joining these sessions had they been in clans and noble houses.

Which meant that he was fully within his right to punish Eri when she overreached in an attempt to take advantage of an opening that never existed. She thrust her kunai forward instead of throwing, and he slammed the flat of his blade right onto her back.

She slammed into the ground and became the first eliminated.

Fighting a two versus one showed how much the loss of a single teammate affected the flow of battle, even when up against two very unorthodox fighters.

Tayuya couldn’t cover everything, and Haku couldn’t keep attacking. He smashed every single ice mirror until there was only one left, which eliminated Haku, and then caught Tayuya from behind with a water clone formed within the mist, unseen by all but him.

And just like that, the battle of the Momoichi household ended with him as a victor once again.

“...All of us are tired and beaten. You’re making dinner today,” Haku muttered from the ground where she laid, huffing and gasping for air.

Such was the price of being the victor.

“Carry us to the house~!” Eri whined.

“Give me a foot massage,” Tayuya drawled.

Truly, being the man of the house had its shining moments. This was not one of them.

“Oh yeah, I forgot to the dishes, too,” Eri hummed.

“And wipe the floors,” Tayuya chipped in.

“And the children will need to be fed and wiped soon.”

Curses.