The Lazy Lord 2 (Patreon)

The Lazy Lord
Chapter 2: A Repeat of History

-VB-

The PRT had already been alerted by “concerned” citizens prior to the emergency call that directed their attention to Glory Girl’s incapacitated state.

They have been mobilizing up to this point to confront a cape who was obviously a minimum of Shaker 6, but the news of Glory Girl’s defeat hastened their response.

Dauntless saw it from the moment he stepped out onto the Rig's open air platform to go and rescue Glory Girl.

It was a misshapen thing jutting out of the otherwise flat Docks and Trainyard. From the Rig, it looked like a termite mound, wider at the base and narrower at the top.

He nodded to Triumph before taking off. The newest Protectorate ENE hero followed him behind closely.

He flew as quickly as his boosted gears would let him. As he drew closer to the tower, he could see it for the abomination that it was.

He remembered once seeing an image of twelve people Bonesaw stitched together into a pillar of warning to those who wanted to mimic the Nine. That's what this tower was except it was made with red and brown rusted broken ship hulls.

He saw their target and Glory Girl when he and Triumph flew only quarter of a mile close to the tower.

Two gunmetal grey discs floated some fifty yards above the ground. One had a faceless man sitting on it, relaxed. The other had Glory Girl's wounded form.

The disc with Glory Girl on it floated over to them and then no more than a hundred yards from them, broke apart. Triumph shot forward without prompt and caught Glory Girl.

"She's pale!"

"Go get her to Panacea!"

Triumph hesitated for a split second but then he was off in the next.

"I’ll wait.”

Dauntless turned to see the villain. “What?” he uttered in surprise.

“I’ll wait for all of the Protectorate heroes to come,” the villain declared with an amused smile.

“... What makes you think that we’ll need all of us to defeat you?”

The villain’s smile fell a little. “Uh, really?” he asked, gesturing to the steel structure behind him. “I built this in less than a day. What makes you think that you can even manage to fight me with metal armor?”

Dauntless paled as he realized this fact.

“Go be a good little soldier and bring the rest of your heroes. Be glad you didn’t start shooting first, because I would have taken whichever arm you used to fire your first strike,” the cape chuckled, completely at ease. "Or I could have just tore apart your enchanted armor pieces and left you to fall to your misery. You are flying over the ocean, after all."

"Why are you doing this? A villain wouldn't call 911 to help a hero."

He sighed. "Look, I intend to do bad things like tax evasion, illegal fisheries, and organ harvests from criminals."

Dauntless blinked. Aside from the organ harvest bit, those aounded pretty tame for crimes.

"But Glory Girl over there decided she wanted a fight, but I took her out quickly. Honestly, youngins these days…"

"What does that have to do with building that thing behind you and waiting for the Protectorate heroes?" Dauntless knew that he was bluntly fishing for information, but the cape seemed eager to diverge them.

"Well, I don't want to fight you all one by one. That'll eat up a lot of my time."

".... You're awfully confident that you will win against all of Protectorate ENE."

"I know I can even without my ferrokinesis."

"And the building?"

"What good villain doesn't have a menacing base?"

Dauntless facepalmed. This encounter felt vaguely similar to those with Uber and Leet.

"But seriously, I don't have any money, I'm too lazy to still it, I have a ton of powers I can choose from, and there were plenty of materials here for me to play with."

…

"'Powers to choose from'?"

"Yeah. I mean, look."

Dauntless looked.

Metal chunks floated around the cape in a slow orbit, car-sized spheres of fire danced around in orbit further away, and the man himself glowed with red light all too similar to Purity.

"And I can change these out whenever I want."

The red glow dimmed, and the water below them churned next. A vortex formed and roared with the power of several tons of rotating water.

The fireballs disappeared harmless within seconds, but in their place were some kind of tiger-human hybrid projections wielding longswords and shields while armored from head to toe in armor.

"See?"

Dauntless trembled as the implication set in really quickly.

"Eidolon…?"

"Nah. I'm not David."

"... Excuse me?"

Eidolon the hero? David is his name."

Dauntless gripped his empowered spear tightly. "Revealing civilian identity of a Protectorate or Ward is a federal felony."

"David doesn't even have a civilian life. The stuck up bastard is all about his heroism."

"And what are you going to do?"

"Hmm? After I trash you and your team, I'm going to build myself a secretary!"

… what?

-VB-

"Seriously?" I asked while staring at Armsmaster. We weren’t fighting. Instead, we were on the ground in front of my base, me with my arms crossed and him standing passively with his halberd out but staff butt on the ground and the blade pointing to the sky.

"Yes."

"Just … do my thing that ain't too disruptive."

"Yes."

What I had expected did not come to pass. After I showed off to Dauntless in a fit of childish sense of superiority, the man went and reported my power.

And PRT and Protectorate ENE decided that appeasement would have to do.

"This is seriously disappointing, you know? I mean, I'm not a battle maniac but I expected something more than appeasement."

"We suspect we will lose to you," the robot in disguise as a man stated without a hint of helplessness, anger, or any other emotion an officer of the law might show in the face of "leave the future criminal to be alone indefinitely." "And you yourself have stated that you intend to… build fisheries."

"Well, a man has to make a living, you know? I'm not going to push drugs nor am I going to force women into prostitution."

"Then you are not a priority for us, either."

I wanted to roll my eyes but I had no eyes. I certainly wouldn't even be detecting him if it wasn't for my fifth power currently in slot giving me hundred yard omniscience in all directions.

"Chief Director Costa-Brown has convinced Director Piggot to leave you be unless you act out."

"Oi, oi, oi, I'm not a kid to be contained to a corner of the room."

"You will also be delivered all license related to fishing within the week."

"This bending over business is annoying me." But it was convenient. "Say, what happens if I decide to start human trafficking?"

This time, Armsmaster did grit his teeth. "As long as it isn't overtly public… we have been told to leave you alone."

"Wow."

"Yes."

"This is really the state of our nation, huh?"

"Unfortunately because of people like you, yes."

"Ouch," I chuckled. "I guess I … don't have a reason to curbstomp you all then."

"Please don't provoke fights with the local gangs."

"I won't as long as they don't come to my territory. What I said on my declaration of intent still applies."

He didn't acknowledge my last sentence. He just got on his tinkertech motorcycle and rode away.

That was it.

Damn, with great power came great territories in this world.

I stood there thinking about the somewhat fortunate turn of events before I sighed in realization. Of course, I forgot that this world didn’t handle their problems properly. While Endbringers could be waived away as a problem currently unsolvable by most, Nilbog was not, and yet they kept him around because of his future possible usefulness.

Instead of being used by Cauldron against Scion, he got kidnapped by the Slaughterhouse Nine and became useless.

In essence, by showing off that I was Eidolon #2, I put myself in the same group of people that the not-so-almighty United States of America categorized as “too dangerous to provoke” and thus got special treatment.

… whatever. I did plan on defeating all of the Protectorate ENE so that I didn't have to do it multiple times and also fend off E88 and ABB at the same time, because they were certain to try their luck with a cape whose power level was unknown.

-VB-

BOOM

I pulled myself back up and saw fire in the Docks.

I blinked before I facepalmed myself. “It’s still the same day!” I groaned. No doubt, Taylor was fighting Lung right now.

… Well, I got the Protectorate on high alert today, so they were sure to reach the two in time unlike canon timeline. I didn’t need to do anything.

I let myself roll over and began to cycle through my powers for something that would make me mattresses, comforters, and fix the lack of doors and windows on this top floor living space.

There was a pause before I sat up as I realized something terrible.

I forgot up until just now that I took Noctis Cape.

I can’t sleep.

“Fuck…” I whined as my own stupidity caught up to me. I planned out how to kill Scion, take over the Warrior’s shard network, establish my dominance over the bay, and I didn’t plan on actually properly enjoying post-Scion victory?

How the fuck am I going to enjoy any victory when I can’t sleep?!