Zabuza's S.Adventures 7 (Patreon)

Zabuza’s S.Adventures

Chapter 7

-VB-

Zabuza stared at Kushina with a raised eyebrow.

“I am here fucking all sorts of women… and you are literally tossing more of them - all of whom are Haku’s age - at me. Plus a boy. All of them genin.”

Kushina grinned mischievously. “I’m not telling you to go and knock them up,” she teased. “How is Haku-chan, anyway?” 

“She’s happily preparing for the baby.”

The Hokage hummed. “Well, it’s a good thing that Mikoto and I have been using contraceptive measures. I doubt you’re interested in being father to three kids at once.”

His left eyebrow twitched. “Of course, I don’t,” she snarked. “One’s going to be hard enough as it is when I don’t know what to do with a baby.” A pause. “So what’s wrong with this team?”

“Hmm?” she asked while trying very hard to look innocent.

“There’s no way your jounin commander, your academy head, and whatever your village has for a council would have agreed to give a newcomer, nevermind a traitor to his home village, a  team of genin to train. Not unless there was a catch.”

Kushina sighed, though not out of resignation but something close to a fond agreement. “Isn’t there always a catch when you are dealing with people?” 

“Not interested in politics.”

“And this is exactly what this assignment is about.”

“Hmm?”

“You got here right after it ended, so you wouldn’t have heard about it much, but two clans got into a dispute.”

“Okay…?”

“And it almost broke out into an all-out war between the two of them.”

“So, stupid?”

“Very stupid, especially considering that the rest of the village was not happy with either of their antics leading up to the climax.”

“So what happened? I’m going to guess that you stepped in?”

“I fucking had to,” she grumbled. “Pulled both of the clan heads together, brought them into a room, and told them to make amends to die by my hands.”

“... Far better than Kiri, but go on.”

“And the two of them decided that the best possible way for them to amend was for the heirs of both clans to marry each other.”

Zabuza snorted.

“But no one wants to get involved in their troubles, so … you were chosen. Someone completely disconnected from the village politics yet tied down enough that you weren’t considered a flight risk.”

“I’m tied down?”

“An expecting wife and two lovers was enough for the council to agree that you were suitable.”

He laughed. “And what, they think-”

“-that tossing the two heirs at you plus one more will solve their problem? At the very least, the council wants to absolve themselves of any responsibility,” Kushina grumbled, making Zabuza shut up. “Since no one will take the two clans’ sides, your success will mean that you will gain the favors of two very minor clans, but should you fail, then you will be marked as someone who failed the heirs of two clans of Konohagakure as an outsider.”

Zabuza frowned. “So I stepped on shit. Kiri would have just cut the clans down to manageable sizes.”

Kushina snorted and spread her arms wide, mockingly. “Welcome to Konoha. We take our compromises very seriously.”

“...So when do I start?”

“Tomorrow, if you’re willing to meet them.”

“Wait, isn’t tomorrow the start of the Chunin Exam?”

“Yup.”

“So if I go meet my team, then I can’t take part in the bets?”

“But it’ll get you the favors of two very minor clans with ties to banks and the capital city of the Land of Fire.”

“Ugh.”

“Welcome to my life.”

-VB-

Zabuza saw the trio arrive in time together to the training ground, but knew right off of the bat that these three would be trouble. 

The first two who arrived very far from each other if at the same time were clan kids, which was easy to tell from the insignia of their clans on their clothes. The boy was tall, brown-haired, and fairly muscular. The girl was short, black-haired, lean, and looked like someone pissed on her front gate. 

The pale-skinned disinterested looking third member, wearing fur of all things in the middle of the Land of Fire, arrived behind them, and the three of them formed almost an equilateral triangle with how far apart they were. 

“Line up shoulder to shoulder,” he ordered, and they did, even if they looked like they were disgusted with each other. “From my left to right, introduce yourselves.” 

The tall heir spoke up. “My name is Toburi Keito. I am the current heir of the Toburi Clan. I have been classified by the Konoha Index as chunin in ninjutsu and genin in all other fields.”

The short heir spoke up nervously. “My name is Norimoto Tsuyo, heir to the Norimoto Clan. I am a proficient genin hoping to specialize in diplomacy."

Then the last one spoke up. “I am Eri. No last name. I have been a Konoha genin for the last two years. I hope to become better than I am now,” she said.

He looked at them all for a while, making them squirm nervously even in attention. Finally, he spoke up.

“I am Momoichi Zabuza, one of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist. I have recently sought asylum in your village and have been granted it. The Fifth Hokage has asked me to train you, so I shall train you in the only way I know,” he declared and brought his sword, Kubikiribocho, from his back sword holder. “And while I doubt that I can put you three through any of the Kirigakure’s methods for training its elites, no one will fault me for going a bit strong.”

They gulped and backed away. 

“Because as I see it, the lot of you are pathetic. Haku!” 

His wife emerged out of one of the water pools in the training ground. “Yes, husband?” she asked, her face completely covered in her fake hunter-nin mask.

“Take these three and show them how tough their senpai is.”

Haku tilted her head a little bit before straightening herself and nodding. “How tough do you wish for me to go?”

“As long as you don’t maim them permanently or kill them, everything is allowed.”

Then he was gone, having shunshined to a tree far from the center of the training ground.

Haku learned from the battle in the Land of Waves, and wasted no time handing the trio their asses to them.

Zabuza hummed as he noted how Haku was enjoying herself in stretching her combat skills. Though he would have classified her as a mid-chunin, the way she was ending the fight within the minute made him think that he may have been underestimating her.

At exactly one minute mark, the three genin laid on the ground, groaning in pain after having been transformed into ice porcupines.

Zabuza may have been lying when he said that he wouldn’t employ any of Kiri’s methods. After all, Kirigakure excelled in pushing its ninjas not for the sake of ideals or profit but merely survival.

And if these three won’t improve, then they certainly will not leave the training ground anything more than a pile of bruises and acupuncture needles.

-VB-

A/N: I think the pictures tell you which of the three will be joining Zabuza's bed soon.