Chaotic Clusterfuck 11 (Patreon)

Chaotic Clusterfuck

Chapter 11

-VB-

With the land acquired and city’s permission also acquired, I went and looked into who might be willing to part with their -. 

Who am I kidding? I already had a seller in mind.

I went and talked to the US Navy, the downsized and currently neglected branch of the US Military. 

Between the Dark Continents, their dangerous aquatic lifeforms, the parahuman dominance over the military, the orbital and aerial supremacy of the Batarian Hegemony anywhere close to North Africa, and the need to put more money into the hands of the US Coast Guards to fight off the pirate threats, the navy had been on a slow decline. So much so that of the eight carrier strike groups that Bet USA used to operate before the appearance of the Dark Continents, there were now only two left and more than half of the naval bases had been shut down. The United States Pacific Fleet was a shell of its former self, too.

And they had a lot of equipment that was rotting inside warehouses.

“Mister Marris, I understand that you intend to … install these,” Major Richard Carter asked me over the rim of his glasses. “And seeing as your home state is New Hampshire, there shouldn’t be any state level regulation preventing you from operating them, too. However, this is still a military hardware you are purchasing, and the United States Navy will conduct random inspection to see that you are operating them safely and correctly. Is that acceptable to you, sir?”

“It is,” I replied. “I’m just happy to have some protection against the sky. Those Batarians worry me, you know?”

The major sighed. “I understand what you mean. How they even got a foothold on Georgia, I’ll never know.”

He handed me a thick packet of documents with signatures and guidelines with warnings of felonies and legal responsibilities. In return, I handed over a money order of $148,000 USD made to the United States Navy.

Considering that, for me, it took only half an hour to make that money via alchemical transmutation, nine Bofors 40 mm guns were on the cheap end. And if the good major decided to transfer the thousand and some hundred dollars I’ve overpaid to his own account, then that wasn’t my business.

With that, I left Naval Base Norfolk and took a public train ride back home. 

-VB-

I frowned as the taxi got closer to my mansion at the southern edge of the city. There was a car in front of my house that I didn’t own. Or owned by Anne, Emma, and Zoe. I paid the man and got out of the taxi to see Zoe arguing with some man in front of her. 

“Zoe, who’s he?” I asked her as I walked up to them, and the man whirled around.

With bloodshot eyes, he glared at me. “You!” he shouted before stomping toward me.

“You son of a bitch, fucking -!” he shouted again as he took a swing at me. His right fist swung wide and completely out of coordination with the rest of his body. It had some strength to it, but any grown man with at least some experience fighting would have some strength behind their fists. 

I easily stepped back once as he swung and then guided his swing to keep up its momentum. Then as he lost his balance, I spun him around and away from me and Zoe. The man tripped and crashed to the ground. 

The idiot swung at me without even caring about the cameras around the mansion.

“And who the hell are you?” I asked with a bored drawl that was sure to draw even more ire out of someone who was in the deep throes of anger. 

“Fucking -!” he hissed. Brother, was that the only cuss word you knew? Right, he also knew bitch. “Adulterous so-!”

I was halfway there to kick him when he flinched. I aborted immediately and hung my feet in the air for a moment before bringing back down to the ground.

I crouched down to him.

“So you’re the cheating lawyer, huh?” I snapped. “And why are you here at my home?”

“I came to see what the whore was doing!” 

I stared at him.

“A-Alan-.”

“I know,” I said.

The man on the ground, now who I knew was Alan Barnes the Idiot, looked at me and then at Zoe.

“Oh, so you went for someone with my name since I had a fling with a girl who was a ginger? Is this revenge? Is that it?” Barnes hissed as he climbed back up to his feet. “Fine. This is how it is, huh? Just because I had a moment of weakness? Alright. Fuck you, two.” He turned around and left, limping.

Why was he limping? He only took a tumble, not a fall from a two story building or something. 

Scoffing, I turned back to Zoe. She looked … ashamed. 

“Alan-.”

“Zoe, I don’t care,” I told her with a smile. “Things happened in the past. You were married to an asshole. Besides, you and I both know how we met. Neither of us knew each other’s name when we were shacking it up at my old apartment.”

She bit her lips before nodding. 

“Now, if you want to talk about it, we can do it inside. Come on.”