The Wig (Patreon)

Barbette wore a blonde, 1920s/1930s-style finger wave wig.
A friend gave me a synthetic, blonde, pre-waved bobbed wig to rehearse with.  Roberto took one look at it during the first week of rehearsals and said, "NO. That wig is awful*. You look like a drag queen. And not in the way we want."

(*Roberto was not wrong. I have evidence of this, as modelled on Maui the Pocket Bully, pictured below)

(No, he's not my dog, sadly).

This wig was the bane of my existence for the last 10 days; a stress point that I didn't have a solution for and therefore kept putting off, repeatedly.

One problem with having had a shaved head for coming up on 8 years now (or something like that) is that the days that my apartment had hair styling implements and accessories are long gone. Another problem is that I have absolutely zero idea how to style a synthetic wig.

You're essentially working with ... plastic.

A short but not-shallow dive into YouTube quickly assaulted my tepid confidence that I could 'make this thing work' as 20 minute, 30 minute, 40 minute long styling videos surfaced. All of them involved garment steamers and hundreds of alligator clips and wig head forms and all manner of accoutrement I neither own nor wanted to begin sourcing.

Would a human-hair wig look better? Less shiny and fake?
I took one look at the $300+ price tags, gagged, and moved on from that idea.

I could cover most of it with a SUPER fancy Great Gatsby style headband, maybe.
My brain started mulling over all the little bits and bobs I'd need to dig up to hot glue together something that LOOKS good, and hides the majority of the wig. It's possible – I've just been juggling so many other details that I couldn't imagine sitting down for 4 hours to fumble my way through making something yet.

In the end, Marika saved the day. Or, rather, a couple of drag queens did.
She had just hired a new employee at her studio who happens to be a Toronto drag queen. Said drag queen put me in touch with their friend, Ty/Calypso Cosmic (they/them), a drag queen who specializes in vintage and retro hair styles and styles wigs for a lot of the queens who compete on Canada's Drag Race.

I reached out to them and gave them an elevator pitch for the act, describing what I needed from this half-styled synthetic wig currently in hand. Ty said they could get it done for me by the end of next week. I'm confident in their skills.

Wig solution: Found!

And on that note – here is some comic relief for you all. Maui looked better in this un-styled wig than I did, so ... allow your imaginations to fill. in the blanks.

* * * * *  [ to be continued ]