🌪️ September Update🌪️ (Patreon)

Greetings, dear patrons – 

Today's my first full day back on Canadian soil after my short contract in Germany. I'm going to take a couple days to recover in mind and body from the travel and the performing, and then I'll be right into the Writing the Circus Issue 2 drafting, editing, and interviewing.   

Is seeing the scraps of scribbling and early drafts of these essays something that interests you folks? 

I'd love to gauge how much of 'seeing how the sausage is made', so to speak, that we're interested in here (isn't that a delightfully graphic idiom?).

Do me a favour and leave me a comment with your preferences & thoughts – I've erred on the side of 'less is more' here, but I'm interested in evolving the project (and its creation) in line with what we as a community here want to see the most.

* * * * * 

But about that contract in Germany . . .
It was -
Honestly it was terrible, friends.

I really do try to keep things focused on the positive; but sometimes you just have to be honest and accept that there's really no good way to spin things. I'm glad that I am able to share these moments (the not-so-polished ones; the not-so-pretty ones) with you all.

While the NDA I signed restricts me from discussing anything specifically about it (honestly, I probably wasn't even supposed to tell you that I was *on* the show, whoops. Don't rat me out, okay?), I think I'm within the realm of allowable information to say - non-hyperbolically -  that it qualifies as one of the worst experiences of my professional performing career thus far.

Don't worry – I'm physically healthy, and my act itself actually went quite smoothly.
One of the best runs I've ever had of it. I couldn't have asked for more, in that department.
So what was the crappy part, you ask?

Other humans.
Other important humans.
I have never had such a hard time keeping a professional expression on my face while in front of a camera.  I impatiently await the next 6 weeks elapsing so that I can go ahead and talk about this sh!t properly once the show airs.

You know what they say – "there's no bad publicity."
And I believe that's pretty true.
But that's some marketing BS that has no bearing on how much your heart hurts after.
And my heart is burning.
Not in the passionate kind of way.
In the smouldering, "I want to light you on fire right back", bad sort of way.

I know this doesn't have much to do yet with the two projects you're all here for – 
but you can bet your fanciest pair of shoes that I will be writing scathingly about this in as over-intellectualized a manner I can manage once that NDA period is lifted.

Some of you signed up to my mailing list last week, (which is serving as the reincarnation of the work/travel-focused blog that this Patreon started out on). As I promised the masses, I'll be slowly reeling out the stories of those 4 unpleasant days in email form – 

If that's content that you miss having, you can find it again (sporadically) through signing up there (the page takes 5 to 10 seconds to load, be patient if you just see a white screen for a hot second).   

Fear not, kind patrons: to be crystal clear, my focus and priority is still the projects that this Patreon explicitly exists to support now – Writing the Circus, and the short-story collection which you'll be seeing early drafts from soon (yay).

However, the exercise of writing quickly and not over-thinking the work while abroad on contracts is something that has improved my craft in the past, & I think it continues to do so. It's also serving as a valuable tool for slowly building up a large audience of humans who do circus, are interested in circus, & the related writing – yay <3

Eagerly awaiting your thoughts – 
In the meantime, stay strange & wonderful.

XO

ess