In memory of my beautiful girl (Patreon)

Hello everyone.

My dog's health has declined rapidly. I thought that I could spend December lazily recording and spending time with my dog after being so busy, but her previously diagnosed kidney disease got worse almost overnight. On December 5, she started sleeping more. By December 7, she was diagnosed with stage 4 kidney failure. On December 11, she went to the emergency vet and they suggested we say goodbye.

I am not one to make rash decisions, and while I worked to round up my family to say goodbye later that week, she showed that she wanted to fight. She started walking again, drank water, opened her eyes and gave me kisses. It looked like I'd have more time with her.

In the end, I did. Almost 2 weeks since she was told she would die, she stayed with me a bit longer. I am so fucking grateful.

Nonetheless, she took a turn for the worst again. She has lost control of her back legs, became incontinent and spends all day in bed. I cannot selfishly prolong this any longer. I know if the roles were reversed, she'd want the best for me.

Today, December 23, my angel will be crossing the rainbow bridge.

I was 8 years old when she came into my life. I remember begging for a dog, so when she came into my life, it was heaven-sent. 16 and a half years later, she has shown me a love that I never thought would be possible. I never thought I could love and fight for someone or something as hard as I have with her. Every time I had something good or bad happen, I told her.

At 24 years old, I look back and see that she accompanied me through every graduation from middle school to college. She saw me get a full time job, travel the world, get my heart broken and put back together, make stupid decisions and more. She sat by my feet for every job interview and greeted me after every long day at work well into the last month of her vibrant, incredible life.

All of this to say, my heart is broken. After almost 17 years with her by my side, I now have to learn to exist without her. I genuinely can't imagine existing without her. She's all I've known and loved.

If you'd like to support the bills or me while I navigate this part of my life, you can donate directly to me via Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/auralcandy or continue to support this Patreon. I will try to upload something this month so it won't completely go to waste. otherwise, I can offer refunds. 

I will return eventually. I need space to grieve.

Hug your loved ones and have a good holiday if you celebrate. Think about my beautiful little angel before you go to bed. If you pray, send one for her. I love you all. Thank you.