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Scrapped (Patreon)

Published:
2024-05-02 15:36:07
Imported:

Content

Here are some of the pages I've made of the comic I've scrapped. Thought it would be a waste to just throw them all out because I feel not all of them were bad, so I decided to share them here. The dialogues were written but never added into the pages, doesn't matter now...

Let me know what you guys think of these unfinished pages, actually might give me some valuable insights that could help me later on. I'm particularly curious what you guys think of the coloring in this one. I followed an advice from a couple of moots and went with a much simpler shading than what I'm used to.

Files

Comments

Pogmancer

Whos the blue haired girl?

Violet Rose in The Dark

The colouring is decent. Every character has a scheme that's immediately distinct and recognisable.

auto

Dude the pages look amazing

Jables1337

Truthfully, I really like it! The expressions are very well done, the paneling looks well-executed. I think dialogue guides me through a lot, so I can’t make a too-educated guess without it, but the visuals are great as well, I love the posing! (Especially that middle panel in the 4th page, she looks GREAT in that one!)

Daemon Dilan

Because you say that you didn't like the result, it looks very good and interesting about how Max and her start their relationship. But anyway, for me I know well, and I could tell you that I could add on a page how they start their relationship (going to the park, to a fair, a getaway there).

Daemon Dilan

But i was curious about what the dialogues were, if you want, you could send them to me privately. I say if you want, if not, I respect your decision and response.

ftpoggers

Was it scrapped bcs of the story u were going for didn't fit the panels?

Morgan Jones

Hey man, scrapped or not, this is some really good stuff! Keep it up!

ColdTyrant

The pages look amazing, I really dont think you should scrap it altogether, it's a waste of some very hard work looks like

Queertzalcoatl

Even in the scraps I love their dynamic and how you convey her rapidly conflicting feelings

Alphazan

It is a very solid concept here; I'd say take what you learned and what you think works from this and apply it to something in the future. Personally, I think without the text, you managed to convey a story very well and the comic page flow is great

Emilio

Completely Honest Feedback: The first four pages are great. I think a big thing for comic storytelling, especially with a style as dynamic as this, is being able to say both a lot and a little with a panel regarding movement and expression. I know a lot of context is missing in this because there’s no dialogue, but with a style like yours, where characters have very dramatic expressions and movements, that it feels a little stiff compared to the first four. When Tatiana is pushing the girl out of the room, she looks angry so she should be shoving hard, and the middle panel shouldn’t cut off the view of the characters, it makes the last page feel very cramped, again though it’s reliant on story so I could just be spouting bullshit. I really hope you continue with this, because so far it’s great, please don’t quit just yet because this has great potential, and if you really feel like it needs to be reworked then you do you, but so far I love it.

SpiralVortex

This looks really well made

vkid (+18)

they look really well

rescopan

personally i like the coloring alot and i think the simple shading for a big project like this works, dont want to over work yourself on every little detail

Heath Grace
>>136868791

Mostly pacing issues. There was a long sequence of pages with overwhelming dialogues and little action. I realize the lengthy exchanges and exposition dump would bore a lot of people. I feel like it could be done a lot better and have the characters do more than just standing and talking.

Heath Grace
>>136873108

Thank you! I appreciate the feedback very much. Glad I was able to present some semblance of narrative even without dialogues ^^

Heath Grace
>>136875169

Thank you very much for the feedback! Very informative, I really appreciate it ^^ And yeah, I completely agree on the last page. It was then when I started to feel something was wrong. It feels rushed like it jumped too quick to the next sequence. I'm gonna have to improve on my transitions in the future.

Heath Grace
>>136867943

Oh yeah! Forgot to mention that bit of info. She's a new character I haven't shown before. Her name's Sofia, she's a music teacher :)

Chronos

I’ve read most of the comments here and I agree with a good bit of them. The emotions and visual storytelling are very good and you can get a good picture of the story just by looking at the illustrations, which is a very good thing. However as someone else mentioned, that last page does feel very claustrophobic and tense, which could possibly be what you were attempting to convey, and if so you did a pretty good job imo. The shading and coloring is still extremely well done and having it simpler can make it actually more enjoyable to read and take in as it’s not as taxing and intricate to the reader, especially in more dialogue oriented situations. As for the reason you scrapped, the pacing and overall flow of the comic: you’ve said that there were portions with little dialogue and mainly action shots, and then it would have portions of heavy heavy dialogue. It’s a very common problem to encounter, both in comics and creative writing (my personal hobby), and so what I recommend is to try and make sure that you maybe follow a certain pattern per say, in that each page has relatively the same amount of dialogue save of course scenes where people definitely aren’t paying attention to the dialogue iykwim. Lack of dialogue often times can be very effectively made up through environmental storytelling, which you’ve demonstrated that you’re very good at. All in all, I think that these panels are a really good opener for a comic and remember that everything I’ve said is to be taken with a grain of salt as I am absolutely no expert and you have your own style of doing things. Make sure that you look after yourself and don’t beat yourself up over this. I can’t even begin to tell you the amount of characters, stories, or even full arcs that I’ve scrapped because I didn’t think they were good enough.