Someone Really hurt me (Patreon)

Good afternoon my dears. My apologies that I may not be in the best place at this time. Though perhaps I will use the difficulty of the moment to be a set reminder of certain perspectives.

I feel sick at the moment. Stressed and exhausted both from work and from emotional turbulence. My dears, there are two things of many that contribute to terrible deeds. Impatience...and Apathy. Impatience drew out the inner fire of someone close to myself, and Apathy raised their words that little of what I said, they could care for. There is a vicious cycle to the young, and young at heart. This need for ultimatums and sudden deaths.

Their feet kick at the pavement, as they yell for things here and now, for difference, for change, and for the sudden. It makes monsters of ourselves, you see. Expectations for mountains to move in our lifetimes, for differences to be wars. I would beg you reconsider if now and again you find your hearts troubled with the difficult combination.

Some years ago I might have found a great burning inside my heart to hear the words, to be treated so poorly when there had been such a connection and trust with an individual. I keep on expecting my heart to race from the crack, to feel my arms twitch and my teeth grit. This sense of..betrayel? The further inside I look, the more I see that there is no anger here now. There is only disappointment and sadness. Beneath that is the light made from the damage. That is hope.

It's hope that whoever hurt me knows I forgive them. It's hope that I will not allow any one person to undermine my ability to love and to care for others. It is hope that I will endure for tomorrow, and those who endure alongside will see further.