Big ball of art block! (Patreon)

Well good evening my dears! I hope you all have been well this week!

I apologize that I have been somewhat disorganized and slowed down in my work. So much has been happening my head could spin, whether it's been the whirlwind of depression or the last four possible jobs being declined. My schedule has really sapped a lot of my time each day so that when I get home I am somewhat a husk of exhaustion and a blurred mess trying to look at homes, send out emails and phone calls to both jobs and apartments..and finding that little bit of time for myself too.

I have another possible place to look at for temporarily living, on Friday since it's my only day off this week. So my spirits have been a bit hampered and my head has been utterly killing me. I've been holding off on hissed connections as every time I touch the page, I can't even function to properly work on any of it.

So with that..I wanted to tell you a little story this evening. If it cannot be with pictures, then it can be with words. There is a girl who works at my store, and since the day I started, she would ignore me when I spoke to her. She would avoid eye contact and would not say a word when I would ask how she was doing. Through the months I would hear associates talk, and sometimes it was about her. How she was just this stuck up and rude person who had no business working in that store.

  I talked with her again one morning while on the sales floor. I asked how she was doing that day and she wouldn't answer, so I chuckled and said she could tell me, I don't talk that much with people either. We just kept stocking the shelves in silence until halfway through she said quietly " I'm not doing good at all. I've never felt that good. " so I asked what was wrong that made her feel that way.  She talked about a lot of things. How she couldn't trust anyone, that her boyfriend who'd been with her for so long broke that trust down further. That she couldn't feel safe with anyone because people are only pleasant when things are pleasant.

I listened, and we talked further. There were a lot of things we agreed on, and the topics would change from those bad times to other things. Her voice slowly stopped being whispers, and slowly grew louder. It was the first time I'd ever seen her smile, and she had a lot of things she hoped for. She wanted to succeed in college, she was battling her own depression, and trying to make things work out with someone she still cared about, even if he wasn't the same anymore.

We cannot ever look at one single person and sum them up from the moment. We cannot simplify their lives, their wants, their needs, or their hopes. Each and every one of ourselves does not deserve to be cast aside without even a chance of wonderment what is truly going on with us. The very core of our characters cannot so easily be judged. Even the actions that may be viewed as selfish or hostile, can be a form of self preservation to a hurt soul.

So the next time you find someone who goes out of their way to be so rude to you. Have a moment and wonder what is truly after them. Because a happy heart does not seek distress.