ONE PIECE: THE CHILD OF GOD - CHAPTER 2 (Patreon)

I followed the ugly woman that had yet to identify herself through the forest for an hour or so, where I started to mull over my choice of following her, after all, for all I knew, she was a murderer, or worse a car insurance saleswoman trying to contact me over my car extended warranty.

“So… what’s your name brat?” The woman asked, trying to make small talk.

“Adam,” I replied, looking around.

“Huh, ugly name,” Says the biological abomination.

“Coming from you, that’s funny,” I snorted, rolling my eyes.

“The hell was that supposed to mean huh?!” The woman growled, getting in all over my face.

“I don’t know, what do you think?” I smiled innocently.

The woman glared at me for a few moments, breathing all over my face like a bull ready to charge in blind rage, and yet, I felt nothing but mild indifference, which considering I barely reached her knees I should be bit more worried, and yet, I felt nothing, as if she was a kitten, an ugly kitten hissing at me.

“You are a brat you know that?!” The woman barked.

“Well, I am of age, so yes, I do know,” I replied, earning another glare from her before she resumed her walk to God knows where.

“How old are you anyway?” The woman asked, all signs of hostility gone, talk about mood swings.

“Ten,” I replied, not really sure if that was the right answer, it was simply an estimated guess seeing what I had seen so far.

“Do you have any parents?” That’s a good question, if I was indeed isekaided into a different world as a kid, would that imply I had parents here? No… that didn’t feel right, it felt impossible to be frank.

“No,” I replied, before I decided to make a question of my own, “What’s your name?”

“Huh?” The woman turned to face me, mild confusion all over her face, “I didn’t introduce myself? Oh well better late than never, my name is Curly Dadan brat! The head of the Dadan Family!” She exclaimed proudly.

Dadan… Garp, oh fuck me sideways, I’m in One Piece.

“I see,” I sighed, at least now I knew where I was.

It also explained why she was so ugly, it wasn’t her fault, or even a biological mistake, it was the God of One Piece being an ass.

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It took us about an hour and a half to reach Dadan’s house, which was located high in the mountain in the middle of a big forest.

Once inside, Dadan ordered her underlings to bring me some clothes that would fit and a plate of hot soup to fill my empty stomach, which was uncharacteristically nice of her, considering how much we bickered all the way up here.

“Ace, stop biting me!” I blinked in mild interest as Dadan screamed, turning around to see her struggling with a literal baby biting her hand like a piranha.

Wait, if Ace is a baby, that means Luffy still doesn’t exist, it also means I came to be a few years after Roger died.

Interesting, I suppose.

“Hey brat!” Dadan barked, looking at me.

“Yes?” I said, tilting my head to the right.

“Help me with the brat!” Dadan barked once again, and I shrugged, thinking why not, she was offering me a plate of food and clothes, both items I desperately needed.

“Sure,” I nodded, much to her surprise I think, because she froze without an answer for a bit, before she simply handed me the crying baby.

As soon as she did that, Ace stopped crying, like right away, it was odd really, I’ve never had a gift for children.

“Ace… stopped… crying?!” Dadan exclaimed in shock.

“I guess he has a 20-20 vision,” I chuckled under my breath, but instead of glaring at me, Dadan looked at me like I was Jesus himself.

“You… made him silent…” Dadan muttered in a disturbingly happy tone.

“Boss, what happened to Ace, did he die?!” a short man that reminded me of Stewie from Family Guy shouted, coming into the room, to find Dadan in what could only be described as an orgasmic face, smiling at me.

“He… made Ace… silent?” Stewie muttered in disbelief.

“What happened to Ace?!” An old man with a red Mohawk came rushing into the run.

“He made Ace silent!” Stewie muttered to the old man.

“I… can’t believe it! God is real!” Mohawk man muttered in utter happiness.

“This is getting weird…” I muttered, looking at baby Ace happily looking at me.

“So where’s my food? And clothes?” I asked.

“Get his holiness, his clothes! And they better be good ones!” Dadan roared, “And make him the best damn food we have ever made!”

“On it!” Both men nodded, rushing into the back.

“Don’t worry, you just hold Ace, and we’ll take care of the rest!” Dadan smiled, before rushing into the back herself.

Leaving me with baby Ace alone.

“So, any tips baby ace?” I asked Baby Ace.

“Abuuu baa!” Baby Ace babbled.

“Hmm, you don’t say,” I chuckled, wondering why he was acting so happy with me.

“Here you go, savior!” Stewie said, rushing towards me, clothes folded on his hands.

“Thanks,” I smiled, handing him Ace, who immediately started crying in full on wails.

I chuckled, putting my clothes on, grabbing Ace once again.

And like Magic, he stopped crying once again, looking at Stewie with a huff.

“You are a God!” Stewie exclaimed, bowing as he left the room.

While all I could wonder was, did Baby Ace really cry that much? That a few seconds of silence made me look like Jesus incarnated?

“Foods coming, Adam,” Dadan said, coming into the room with a smile.

“Thanks,” I nodded.

“So, have you thought about where you want to go from here on?” Dadan smiled and I knew where this was going, she was going to offer me a place to live, in exchange of keeping Baby Ace silent, God that sounds awfully without context.

“You want me to stay because of my seemingly overwhelming powers to calm babies, right?” I asked with a small knowing smirk.

“I’ll do anything…” Dadan nodded frantically, not even bothering to deny it.