At The End Of It All (Patreon)

I think it strange that in times like these humans mimic that of what they are inherently scared of. A multi-celled, intelligent and resourceful creature operates on the basis that of a virus. They clear out any and every avenue off what they need, or in our case what we think we need and then once it is depleted; we move onto the next that still has even a morsel of something we can take. Also in times of these nature there is a clear line drawn in the sand of selfish and selfless. Sadly to say, there are more occurrences of selfishness. On the other hand, the minute amount of selfless acts somehow outweigh the negative in humanity.

Since the recent out break nearly everyone has taken to social media in order to voice their opinions, concerns, frustrations and small successes; small successes being that of getting what they were in desperation of or finding out their work is closing but the company is kind enough to pay them through their hiatus of business. While I think it important to use your voice and your platform to influence others; preferably in a positive manner. I think it also important to not over-share and saturate the digital world with more of the same. As I browse social media I see endless posts of grocery shelves being bare, carts of others filled with more than one person or even one family could use, memes of people trying to 'lighten the mood' in regards to the current pandemic; the list goes on. I decided early on that I would do none of that. With the digital universe so heavily saturated in so many of this array of posts, I believe I do not need to add to it. Instead, I have used my platform and following to go about 'business as usual', so to speak. I believe that normal is so far gone right now that the vast majority could not even tell you what that word means to them anymore. I also believe that if someone looks onto my 'business as usual' portrayal it will hopefully lower their worries of this time.

Now I cannot say that my life has not changed a little from normal, because it has. The most notable thing is my hands. My skin is not used to being cleaned as often as it needs to be right now. In turn, my knuckles look as if I just finished an eight round fight with Mike Tyson in a M.M.A. fashion. They are cracked, red and sometimes bleeding despite applying moisturizer to them almost as often as I wash them. It seems like every couple washes there is a knew break in my skin, a new stinging feeling shooting up from my hands to my brain and a new minor inconvenience. Even as I write this to you, I can feel my hands throbbing in pain.

One thing that feels extremely normal to me is home life. Eating in, only going outside to walk Kylea or to run a quick errand and spending all of my time in front of a computer. Meals throughout the day that make no cuisinal sense and are just enough to render my stomach happy and menially full. It just feels like a continuation of my two month long unemployment. To some, this may be hard to adjust to, but I feel right at home in this regard.

During world changing events like this, there is mostly no rhyme or reason to anything that any one person does. I think the most important thing to do is to just keep going no matter. Today I told someone "Listen, it is Monday. Two months ago I woke up on Monday's and went about my day with not a care in the world. I took each day as it's own with a long term plan in the back of my mind. I am going to do the same today as well. It is meaningless to worry about this that you cannot control. If I get sick, so be it; I will do everything I can to get better. If I get into a car accident, so be it; my car will get fixed. If I run out of an essential, so be it; I will find a way around it." The perfect example of this; I was in the grocery store just yesterday. As I walked around and did a several laps of the store filled with more people than products on the shelves, I calmly picked up different items I thought would be helpful. I put them into my basket and with each lap around the store I found myself pulling something else off the shelf. With my basket half full, I decided that was enough and walked to the registers. $80 later I walked out and began my way back to my studio. As I was walking I thought to myself "$80? What did I even get? Well, that does not matter because I have something and that will more than suffice."

I think the strongest quality of any animal is the ability to adapt. We just forget we have the power to problem solve, adapt and keep living whether it be back to the old or into a new normal.

I am not going to tell you how to live your life or how much or how little of something you should buy or stock up on. All I will say is that I hope you live your life selflessly instead of selfishly. At the end of it all, we need more selfless acts each day than anything else.

- AW Media