Chapter 91 - Just Give Me The Third Trial Damnit! (Patreon)

Viers was not an outdoor person but he’d watched YouTube about how to survive after being stranded on a deserted island, or lost in a deep jungle, or adrift at sea. Also about how to survive world war 3, nuclear fallout, nuclear winter, alien invasion, robot alien invasion, virus zombie apocalypse, fungus zombie apocalypse, and so on and so forth.

Thanks to the sheer amount of fiction work he digested, he also equipped with a calm mindset should he found life as he knew it was ending. He knew what to do should he turned into a vampire after being bitten by one during his casual walk to the convenience store in the night. If godlike beings turning Earth into a place with game-like systems, if humanity was pressganged into survival show for alien entertainment, demons crawling out of hell and terraforming earth into fire and brimstone, transmigrated into another world with the whole class, awake in another world in a monster’s body such as a certain nai wa– spider, found himself twenty years younger for the heck of it, and so on and so forth.

In short, Viers was a cuckoo with his head so up there on the clouds.

Awoke and found himself in another’s body in a world of sword and magic was not too big of a deal for Viers. He adapted to it like a fish on water. Now that he was inside a magically created Sahara-like desert in a fantasy world, his almost useless ‘how to survive in the desert’ knowledge became more than an outdated memory buried in his brain dust.

Don’t rush it, pace yourself in a desert. Always walk and don’t run. It’s better to journey during dusk, night, and dawn while resting during the peak sun time. But there’s no night here so that idea is toast. Wear dark-colored clothes and cover your skin especially the head. Kala gave me a red outfit and nothing I can do about that but I can do something about my headwear.

Viers ripped his trousers and turned it into shorts. The lamia made a little fuss, but Viers didn’t mind her. Since he had no tools, he had to use his teeth. The efforts and the results weren’t pretty nor easy.

Using the ripped out parts, he fashioned a keffiyeh, the things that the Arabs wore on their head. Viers don’t know the name of course, he was an internet denizen but he certainly didn’t remember everything on the internet.

The Arabian head…scarf. Don’t know what to call it. Turban I know but I think this has a different name. 

The messy, makeshift keffiyeh wasn’t big so Viers prioritized the cover of his head and nape area.

“There, better than nothing I suppose,” Viers tried wearing his new headgear. Next order of business, he needed to go to the loo.

This is my first pee, should I drink it since my body is still relatively hydrated and the pee is clear? No container… and I would rather not drink my own piss if possible. They will give me water and food after I’m close to body breakdown so this isn’t really about survival.

After politely asked the pretty lamia ghost to temporarily go away, Viers let out his urine and painted a rock with it.

“All set, time to go again. Kala, do you need to pick flowers first?” Viers asked.

“I’m not going to grace that with an answer, I’m a lady!” Kala looked upset.

Viers put a hand on his chin. “How do lamias pee and poop? Do you people have an opening somewhere on that scaly lower bod?” His eyes visited her below the navel area.

“SILENCEEE!” The thousands-year-old young lady clearly didn’t want to answer and floated away first, leaving the mischievously smiling Viers.

“Okay okay, I apologize. Wait for me, beautiful lady that doesn’t pee and poop.” Viers chase after her at his own pace.

***

Viers continued his journey crossing the desert. He didn’t know which direction he should take but since this was a trial and Kala indicated the trial would be fair, he figured he would be in the very center of it so whichever direction he picked to go was not an issue. In an effort not to lose his way, Viers picked big rock in the distance as a landmark and made his journey straight.

Is it a big rock or a rocky mountain? That is so far away… I wonder how many kilos till the desert’s end.

“Kala, the other three before me, did they finish all the trials?”

“Yes, the second person barely pass,” Kala plainly answered.

“Did they get the Aspect creation thingy? You know, the super treasure you told me earlier. ”

“No, they didn’t get it. The Lamia Queen didn’t fully approve them.”

“…” Viers didn’t answer, he was busy inside his own head. He kept walking though as if his feet were on autopilot.

As I expected, the ultimate prize is waiting for the main character to take it! So cliché… but what does the queen seek? How to get her approval? Perhaps it’s not about the trial itself but something else…

The fat boy tried to disregard his sweating and tired body as much as he could and keep piling footprints after footprints behind him.

***

“Zeeh… zeeh… wheeze… how long… I have… been here?” Viers was panting like a thirsty dog.

“Sorry Viers, I can’t tell you. The unknown time is part of the trial,” Kala looked at him with concern. “Any time-device a challenger has will be confiscated for this trial.”

That is cruel. They hide the time we have spent slogging through a desert? That is a sinister attack on one’s sanity that is…

Viers grumbled but nothing he could do about it, he kept walking forward. His feet seemed heavier, Viers didn’t know it was fatigue or something else.

“Wait,” he had a sudden revelation. “How long this is gonna take? Days? Weeks? Months? I have things to do outside!” Viers worriedly asked Kala.

“…Sorry, I cannot tell you anything. If you want to stop, you can do so anytime.”

Tsk… shit, what should I do if this take a long time to finish? Yeah sure I can quit whenever I want but how often I’m gonna have a chance to accept a legacy from the Age of the Gods? School be dammed, cult work be dammed! I doubt this would take months or years though, so… I just have to stick to it.

A strong wind blew, carrying grains of sand that entered Viers’ mouth because he was in the middle of a desert marathon.

“Bleh, bleh, damn sand…” Viers spat out the sands on his mouth and keep walking.

***

Viers didn’t know how long he had been here. He kept on walking a straight as he could following a landmark in a distance, making a slight adjustment to available rest spots in rocks’ shade during his journey. He had a lot of rests already and still no sign of desert’s edge or the promised food and water.

He was so hungry that he could eat a horse and so thirsty that he could drink a river dry.

“Mmm…” Viers groggily opened his eyes.

“Morning, kind of. How’s your sleep?” Kala asked.

“Terrible, too hot and too bright. And the fact you won’t even tell me how long I’ve slept doesn’t help either.”

This was his third sleep in the desert. He didn’t know how long each sleep was so it couldn’t be taken as a measure of time. Every time he awoke, he was drenched in sweat. Although the sweat was visibly declining. Viers knew his body was almost squeezed dry of liquid. The last pee he had was amber-colored and looked horrifying.

“Sorry…” Kala sounded really meek. She felt guilty making things difficult for him.

“No, I’m not blaming you, just… No, it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry for making you feel bad.” Viers apologized after thinking about his earlier actions.

Kala didn’t answer. Viers sighed and got on his feet. His body felt so weak now since he had no sustenance. He’d tried casting water Arte in the hope he could drink some of the water but it was a wasted effort. His healing factor also didn’t seem to work. Tiredness, fatigue, muscle pain, lower stamina, it was as if his body had no healing factor to begin with.

During the first few steps, he wobbled before he could walk normally. The sweet whisper of release from his suffering was very tempting. He only needed to give up. The sloth devil’s enticement kept haunting every step he took.

***

Viers fell while walking.

“Viers!” Kala worriedly approaches but Viers didn’t show any sign of movement.

“Viers, come on! There’s a shade nearby, just about fifteen meters. You can rest there,” Kala tried to shake his shoulders but she couldn’t, her hand passes through him.

Viers moved weakly responding to Kala’s voice but he soon returned immobile. No water and food, insufficient rest, prolonged walking under severe sun, Viers’ body was in a dangerous condition.

In the middle of Kala’s anxious voice, the sky swiftly turned into night. From above him, a trickle of water hit Viers’ cheek. Feeling the much sought water, life returned to Viers’ eyes. Using the meager strength he had left, he turned his body so the water went inside his mouth.

Water… I’m saved. So… delicious.

Viers drank a lot, he used the water shower from the sky to water his face, hair, and body after he had drank enough. He like a thirsty animal, he joyously gobbled the gifted water from the heavens like a burned monkey. Kala didn’t mock him, she watched him with a glad feeling.

At a rock formation near him, a campfire already lit and warm food already served. Both were magically appeared out of nowhere without fanfare or signs. Viers didn’t care much and eaten the much-needed food gladly, there’s also a waterskin made of some animal’s skin that never ran out no matter how much he drank from it. The food was modest but very fulfilling, it almost tasted like the most delicious food he ever had. Almost, because some of the modern Earth’s food still tasted better. Viers didn’t complain of course, he was not an ungrateful idiot.

***

“Rest time, you say?”

After eating and drinking his fill, Viers conversed with his traveling companion. The desert was still in night time. The sun was gone and millions of stars were making a magnificent chandelier on top of his head. There were no moons and the temperature was not cold. Viers felt very comfortable.

“The first time is special. The next rest time will still appear after you have reached your limit but the treatment won’t be as good as this. Rest as much as you can, after seven more hours, the sun will return.” Kala explained the mechanics to him.

“I see, that makes sense. No luxury treatment every time, got it.” Viers was lying down on a cloth with a pillow made of hay on the back of his head. He was conversing with Kala while watching the –not-milky-way but no less magnificent– sky above him.

“…Kala, I can’t help but notice… is this the last trial?” Viers got this conclusion because of her reactions in the beginning.

“…Perhaps,” Kala spoke softly.

“If this is the last… what would happen to you after this?” His tone was solemn.

“I will pass on… I’m not alive you know, not really. I should be dead a long time ago.” Her voice wasn’t dipped with sadness, she seemed ready to face her death.

“That is… sad. Is there anything that can be done?” Viers was struggling to find the right words.

“I explained to you before that this place, the trail ground, is a Dead Biome. A Biome that loses its connection to the ‘other side’ and only connected to the material world. My long existence is due to the remaining special energy here. It’s almost dry and with it, my tether to this place. You don’t have to feel bad about it though, it’s not your fault.”

“…Do you want to leave this place?”

“…It doesn’t matter. I’ll be dead in minutes the moment I’m cut from this place.”

“…Will anything change if I pass the trials and get your mother’s full approval.” Viers looked at her straight in the eye.

“…Just concentrate on your trial Viers. I’ll be fine,” Kala glanced downwards for a split second before replying with the best smiling face she could make but to Viers, it looked like a sad smile.

“Tell you what, no matter the result of the trials, if I found a way to help you in the future, I will. If I can’t, I’ll make you a nice grave and kept you alive in my memory.” Viers bragged.

Kala was speechless. Before she could answer, Viers added more.

“Worst come to worst, in your tombstone, there will be written, ‘here lies the memory of my first lamia friend.’ I’ll even pick a nice spot for you. You can make requests now. Do you prefer a sea view or mountains? Tropical or snow?” Viers blathered cheerfully.

“…Friend?” Kala faintly asked, as if she was afraid she misheard it.

“Yup, we’re friends now. To make it official, we must do a ritual. Give me your pinky, like this.” Viers rose his upper body from a lying position and gave her a fisted hand except for the little finger.

“L-like this?” Kala mimicked while stuttering her words.

Viers twined their little fingers together. Viers couldn’t touch her but the ritual was complete.

“From where I come from, this is called the pinky promise. Powerful stuff. Now we’re friends and my promise to you is binding,” Viers grinned.

Kala was still looking at her pinky as if she was bewitched, friend, she muttered as soft as a swan’s feather.

Good, she looked happy. The princess has few or no friends trope works like a charm!

“I’ll also write she was an almost nine millennia-old girl, officially the oldest friend I’ve ever made! Gwuahaha!”

“Hey! No way, not that, I’m sixteen! Seventeen, if you’re splitting hairs. I mostly unconscious so it didn’t count! Don’t write it!”

Near a campfire in a magical desert, under an ocean of stars, laughter and a promise bloomed between a fat boy and a lamia princess.