Astrid vs Masha: Titboxing world champion rematch (Patreon)

One more awesome story by  Sandcastles Luffington 

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The crowd was intense before the matches even started. It was a night of big events in the professional titboxing circuit, and some big names were fighting that night. Konga the gorilla had barely scraped out a win against Nefertiti the crocodile, and Gina the bear had left Ela Sha the elephant leaking milk all over the ring. Things had been cleaned up as they made way for the final match of the night with the championship on the line.

As always, the show returned from commercial to sweep over the crowd before focusing on the announcers. Rick “Richter” the burly rhinoceros sat behind their table, the retired ring veteran dressed in a casual shirt and pants. His much smaller and more formal partner Mina the mouse was in her usual business-like attire with her large glasses and perky round boobs making her look even smaller in comparison.

Richter: “Welcome back, folks. We know you must have been dying waiting for this next match, cuz it’s gonna be a doozie.”

Mona: “Absolutely, Rick. There are some fans showing up tonight just to see this match alone. We have Astrid Johansen, current champion and super heavyweight whale, up against Masha Nikolaeva, the fans’ favorite Russian polar bear. What do you think of this fight, Rick?”

R: “Masha’s giving up some height to the newfound champ and Astrid’s got a real weight advantage. It’ll be another uphill battle for the bear for sure.”

M: “In fact, according to  their stats, the only size advantage Masha seems to show is being a single cup size bigger than her opponent.”

R: “Considering that Astrid’s on record as K cups, they’re still nothing to ignore. Masha better hope she learned some new tricks, because the old ones sure didn’t work last time.”

The camera shifted to show their previous match when Masha lost her title in the tournament. Astrid is shown eating several direct hits from Masha that would have leveled other fighters on the mats, only to strike back with a hard and heavy hit of her own. A particularly hard uppercut to the tits leaves Masha’s face bruised and slumping against Astrid just to stay standing as the wail proudly flexed her arms and chest.

M: “It was a massive loss for Masha to be sure. She’s been on and off with the heavyweight title for several years now, but that was one of her more devastating defeats. And for the belt no less.”

R: “Astrid’s been undefeated since she became the champ, so it’s hard to blame Masha for losing to the rookie. She was only in the tournament to begin with because she made such an impression on the higher ups that they wanted to see her in action against some real talent. All that said, I think if anyone in the league’s got a shot of dethroning the queen of whales, Masha’s one of them.”

M: “We could speculate all night about Astrid…”

R: “And her incredible record defeating the best the league has to offer. Konga, Gina, Meili, Sali…”

M: “BUT if you’d quiet down for a minute, Rick, they’re about to start up the match!”

R: “And here they come! It’s a wonderful night to be a fan of big boobs. Am I right, fellas?”

M: “And ladies.”

R: “Especially the ladies! Masha comes out topless besides her red robe. You can see she’s been preparing herself for this rematch for who knows how long.”

M: “She looks like she might have packed on some muscle to be sure, and she’s clearly focused on the fight ahead of her.”

R: “And by the jiggle in those jugs, she’s been sure to stock up on milk for the match. And I don’t mean the kind you get at the grocery store.”

M: “As we all know, the extra weight and protection that provides can make all the difference in titboxing. It's why making your opponent spring a leak can be a devastating blow to their pride and body alike.”

R: “The blue-nippled bear is ready to go as she loses her robe. Now here comes the champ!”

M: “Astrid does look confident, doesn’t she? She’s barely got her robe on her shoulders and she’s all smiles for the crowd as her belt shines in the spotlights.”

R: “The whale really did skyrocket her way to the top. She’s a natural titboxer through and through, and the fans love her sudden success story from a nobody to the champ. Plus, y’know...”

M: “Yes, Rick. Tits. I get it.”

R: “Damn right.”

M: “The champ passes off the belt to the official and even blows Masha a kiss. Looks like it failed to break the bear’s icy focus.”

R: “Don’t be too sure. Masha’s going into this with the psychological disadvantage. Whether she can use that or gets distracted is going to be the key to success in any match. Especially one against a powerhouse like Astrid. Like the time I got in the ring with “Cockfight” Roostario right after my honeymoon and I was still…”

M: “Enough of your old stories, Rick. Live in the present because two of the bustiest and toughest titboxers in the world just tapped gloves. They step back to their corners and we have the bell!”

R: “Masha clearly keeping on her toes here. Looks like she’s taking this a lot more seriously than Astrid.”

M: “We’ve seen that Astrid’s casual attitude can’t be mistaken for carelessness. Masha probably feels like she has a lot more at stake in this match.”

R: “Plus there’s the rumors of a backstage bet on this match…”

M: “There’s a what? OH! Masha sends a few jabs after the landwhale, but Astrid fends them off. Masha comes back even harder just to sneak a jab into Astrid’s abs!”

R: “A clean shot but not enough to slow that beast down. Masha plays it smart and pulls back in a hurry.”

M: “She’s making Astrid come to her. Astrid may be a whale but she’s showing she has plenty of footwork as she leaves Masha with nowhere to hide.”

R: “Both of the boxing beauties trade some blows, tagging each other’s chins and tits…”

M: “Oh! A clean shot to Masha’s right boob! Those big girls go bouncing away and almost drag Masha with them.”

R: “It’s why tits that big remain a sound target even in regular boxing. Hard to control and a big center of gravity for girls that size.”

M: “Masha’s losing her footing and her defense is crumbling fast! Astrid is beating her boobs left and right while she tried to tighten up her guard.”

R: “That’s a lot of flesh she needs to protect at once! Astrid seems one step ahead of her as she CREAMS MASHA! HOT DAMN!”

M: “Astrid just landed a double mammary jab! She’s crushed Masha’s boobs like a pair of furry pancakes before she’s sent staggering into the ropes! A messy start for the busty bear!”

R: “Masha’s known for her famous comebacks, but it’s not something you want to rely on. Especially against an expert boob buster like Astrid.”

M: “Masha eats a couple blows to the face before she plays it smart! She rushes past Astrid’s guard, clinching up with her as four of the biggest just in the league mash into each other.”

R: “May not be the best way to get out of a corner, but at least it’s working for now.”

M: “What do you mean by that? She’s keeping Astrid’s blows away from her face and chest while starting to back her out…”

R: “Uh oh! Here we go!”

M: “Oh my gosh! Astrid returned the clinch with a powerful bearhug on the polar bear! The muscular beauty looks absolutely devastated as she’s lifted completely off the mats!”

R: “I think it’s about to get worse than that. You don’t want a super heavyweight to get a grip on you like that, no matter what kind of match your in. I know I taught that to a lightweight hamster once or twice in my day.”

M: “You’re right about that, Rick (at least the heavyweight part)! Astrid has total control as she lifts and RAMS Masha back into that turnbuckle! The combined heavyweights shake the ring with that power slam!”

R: “Uh oh! Astrid’s got the ropes! She’s not letting Masha move an inch as she grinds her boobs into the cornered bear!”

M: “She’s crushing her tit to tit with that impressive bodyweight! She’s showing her opponent and the crowd that she’s in no way intimidated by Masha’s bigger breasts as she crushes them back into her body!”

R: “Masha’s really hitting those high notes as she screams and tries to escape. She frees an arm and sneaks in a few hits to Astrid’s snout, but looks like too little too late.”

M: “And there’s the bell for round one! Astrid pulls back and gives Masha another smile before she heads back into her ring. Not a promising start for Masha as Astrid takes command of the scoreboard right away.”

R: “Masha’s a little winded but she looks like her pride was hurt worse than her body. She’ll have to rethink her strategy if she’s going to beach this whale.”

M: “Is it just me or does she seem to be taking this beating a little better than usual?”

R: “How do you mean?”

M: “It feels like being crushed by Astrid’s tits would have gotten Masha lactating by now.”

R: “Ah! You mean why she doesn’t have her maids a’milking yet. Well that could be a number of things.”

M: “I’m ashamed to say you seem to be the breast expert here, Rick. Do go on.”

R: “That better not be a joke about the weight I’ve been putting on, Titmouse.”

M: “You know I hate that nickname… but seriously.”

R: “It’s not an exact science to begin with. Smart titboxers know where the mammary gland is and how to aim for it. Even then, you’re trying to both beat and arouse your opponent to get the most milk out of them asap. With their jugs jiggling around like that, it can make them a hard target, which is half the fun of the sport.”

M: “Do you think Masha’s toughened up her tits for this match? Maybe she’s playing defensively this early on.”

R: “Maybe. It’s that or…”

M: “Or?”

R: “Or Masha doesn’t want her leaking yet. She might be playing with her food.”

M: “Here comes round 2, so let’s find out for ourselves. Masha is definitely keeping her guard up to protect her targets.”

R: “Her corner team did their best but you can still catch a few bruises starting beneath her fur if you look close enough. And I’m always looking very close at Masha’s jugs.”

M: “You’re a real professional, Rick. Masha takes a few feints, enjoying the control she has over the match. She goes for a bigger swing to drive her back but Masha sneaks her way in!”

R: “Masha ducks under the high haymaker and she works Astrid’s ribs before working her way up to her tits! The polar puncher is focusing on Astrid’s left tit as she hits it from both sides!”

M: “Not a common strategy, but it’s got Astrid trying to retreat! I guess when she’s got that much pain tolerance, zeroing in may work in Masha’s favor here.”

R: “Masha keeps sticking and moving. She blocks and dodges around Astrid’s punches and stays on her left tit. She throws a hell of a hook and BOOM! There we go! Get out your cereal, boys! We got first milk!”

M: “A quick squirt comes out of Astrid’s nipple and you can see Masha’s smile light up! A spurt of milk is like blood in the water for a hungry titboxer.”

R: “Astrid shrugs it off but Masha keeps coming back for more! She’s hitting hard and fast around that sweet spot until Astrid brings up a glove to stop her offensive.”

M: “Masha’s still staying light on her feet. She feints to the left again just to come at it from the right…”

R: “Uh oh. Looks like Astrid saw that one coming! She gets her leg out in the way and Masha almost loses her footing. That’s bad news, bear.”

M: “Masha’s trying to recover and OHHH! Big uppercut from Astrid! Right under the jaw as the bear’s muzzle goes flying up towards the skylights!”

R: “That smacked the smile right off Masha’s face as Astrid sends some absolute wrecking ball punches into Masha’s tits. You must be able to hear the leather hitting flesh from the nosebleed seats.”

M: “Masha is spent spinning back and forth, too busy seeing stars to see Astrid’s punches coming! And down she goes! Masha’s facedown on the mats with her beaten boobs squished beneath her!”

R: “You do not give Astrid that kind of an opening. The girl knows exactly how to get her money’s worth out of them.”

M: “The officials have started the count but Masha’s not out yet. The Polar Doll has too much stamina for that.”

R: “Doesn’t mean this isn’t going to cost her. It’s a blow to the ego as much as the tits… well, mostly the tits. But you know what I mean.”

M: “Not to mention the more time she spends getting up is a longer breather for Astrid. Masha’s back up by four.”

R: “And we’re back to the good stuff! Astrid tries to move in while Masha’s still tender from the fall. The bear’s playing defensive but she can’t stop them all.”

M: “You can see the desperation in the Polar Doll’s eyes. She’s trying to wait for the bell to regroup, Astrid gets her against the ropes.”

R: “Nowhere left to run! Astrid buried a heavy glove into Masha’s guts and a crushing follow up to the tits. Masha’s spraying spit and milk all over her opponent’s arms as she’s driven into the ropes, giving the fans a good look at that ass.”

M: “Masha turtles up and gets her arms in front of her face and chest as best she can. Astrid keeps swinging away and beats on her arms and sideboob until the bell rings.”

R: “Must be music to Masha’s ears right now.”

M: “She’s definitely showing some real fatigue as she returns to her corner. She’s still leaking and her team is fighting to stop the milk from flowing.”

R: “Makes her hit on Astrid from before look like a drop in the bucket compared to her steady flow. Masha’s got a lot of catching up to do.”

M: “Astrid’s got a knockdown on her and a lot of damage done and it’s only round three. I can’t say this looks like it’s going how Masha had planned.”

R: “Astrid looks pretty pleased with herself. She’s joking with her crew and shaking her jugs for the crowd. No wonder she’s becoming a fast fan favorite.”

M: “Sure. Nothing to do with her title-holding titboxing skills.”

R: “I do love a woman who looks good in a gold belt.”

M: “That’s the start of round three! The women are up and ready to go.”

R: “Astrid looks a lot more ready if you ask me. She cups her breasts in her gloves and bounces them for the weary challenger.”

M: “Oh! Masha takes that invitation! She socks Astrid in the snout and goes right for her tits! Astrid just had to poke the bear!”

R: “Might not be the worst strategy, really.”

M: “Getting punched in the face is a good move?”

R: “Well not exactly. But an angry opponent is better than a clear head. Same as putting a little fear into a confident one.”

M: “Astrid does seem to be tanking those hits pretty well! Even as Masha draws some more milk from squashing her breasts with her gloves, Astrid is staying mobile and making her work for it.”

R: “Masha’s getting her hits in, but she’s working up a sweat. She’s desperate, and she’s not thinking of the long term right now. She’s gotta do something about that fast before she’s running on fumes.”

M: “Astrid dodges around a headshot and CREAMS Masha with a right hook! The Polar Doll is on her knees!”

R: “Bad position to be in, because she’s still fair game by titboxing rules! Astrid gets her gloves around Masha’s head and rams her in the goods with a couple knees!”

M: “Astrid’s hitting her pile a precise piston, working a big squirt of milk out of Masha with each hit! Masha’s just moaning and trying to push herself away but she can’t get loose from her grip!”

R: “Astrid even pulls her into a clinch, burying her face in Astrid’s tits. Even if they’re smaller than Masha’s, they’re plenty big for a nice sweaty smother. Masha’s got to be sore and humiliated while any fan would sell their house to be in her place.”

M: “Masha’s starting to fight back, wailing away on Astrid’s belly and sides with some harsh blows. Astrid finally forced to let go and back off…”

R: “Just to hit her with a tail smash! Astrid goes into a perfect spin and crushes both of Masha’s jugs with her tail! Now that’s thinking on your feet!

M: “That’s the same blow that finished off Konga, Masha’s longtime rival in one of Astrid’s debut fights.”

R: “Well it works pretty damn well, because Masha is flat on her back and leaking all over herself out of both tits. The count’s started on Masha all over again.”

M: “Masha knew this would be an uphill battle, but she wasn’t expecting a full fledged mountain.”

R: “Masha gets her own mountains off the mats as Astrid steps back. It takes her longer than she might have hoped as she’s up by 6.”

M: “Masha tried to get her guard up but Astrid is already on top of her! The poor bear can’t even protect her boobs from those devastating hooks.”

R: “Masha’s sporting a lot of bruising around her jugs! The more they bounce, the more they’re gonna hurt with every jiggle as this match goes on.”

M: “Masha can barely throw a punch straight! Astrid really has her number as she bobs around Masha’s punches and defenses.”

R: “Oof! And a double overhead smash to Masha’s tits! She’s hit the mats yet again just as the bell sounds!”

M: “Masha’s on all fours looking devastated. She’s drooling and milking on the mats as Astrid walks confidently back into her corner.”

R: “Masha’s doing her best out there, but you just can’t give a powerhouse like Astrid that much room to work with.”

M: “I guess a stick and move method would have worked best for her?”

R: “To be fair, the doll tried that. Astrid still cut her off with some fancy footwork and let her have it. Astrid’s eying up Masha like a piece of meat now. Almost like…”

M: “Like she’s one of her pervy fans like you?”

R: “Like she’s got something planned for Masha. Her team’s touching up her sweat and milk, but she’s really zeroed in on the Polar Doll. I don’t know if Masha can handle anything more Astrid has to offer.”

M: “Too late to find out. Masha’s just focusing on the pain in her breasts when the bell rings for round four.”

R: “Masha’s definitely looking sluggish coming out of the corner. She’s staying understandably cautious at the top of the round.”

M: “Ooh! Not that it does her much good! Astrid comes right out and starts bullying her around the ring with some guard-crushing punches.”

R: “Masha starts to get desperate! She sends some stinging jabs at Astrid’s chest to try and fend her off but the landwhale tanks those hits!”

M: “She digs in a couple hooks to Masha’s ribs, eating up more of what precious little mobility she has left. Masha goes for a big haymaker but she whiffs!!”

R: “OHO! Holy crap! I could feel that one from here! Astrid gets Masha right in the areola with one of the heaviest punches I’ve seen in titboxing!”

M: “Masha’s looking lightheaded! Her breast is already squirting and showing no signs of stopping and the round’s barely started!” 

R: “There’s times in the ring when two minutes feel like two days. Seriously devastating blow, though. Coulda punched Masha’s nipple right off with that. Giving me flashbacks to the time I got that lucky shot on Meatballs McGill during my debut match.”

M: “Masha’s getting her milkers creamed out there! Astrid is beating her boobs all over the ring! She’s barely letting them stop from jiggling all around Masha’s tender chest, and then just to punch them flat.”

R: “Even with all that fur, Masha’s boobs are looking more black and blue than white. Poor things weren’t built to take a beating like that from a woman like that.”

M: “Astrid switched gears as she starts to dish out slower and bigger hits. Masha can barely even stand up on her own power, Rick!”

R: “The woman doesn’t know when to quit. Sometimes it’s in her favor, but sometimes it just prolongs her beating.”

M: “Masha’s hugging her poor boobs as they’re starting to swell even bigger than normal! Those bruised beauties are overflowing her gloves.”

R: “HOLY shit! Astrid with a hook out of nowhere right into Masha’s face!”

M: “The Polar Beauty goes down hard! Her poor boobs are leaking a puddle underneath her. She’s not moving as the ref hits the three count!” 

R: “This might mean an early bedtime for Masha. Five, six, seven…”

M: “No, wait. Masha’s starting to stir again. She gets a glove on the mats and now a knee… she’s back up just before 9!”

R: “Close call, but there’s still some fire in that polar bear.”

M: “She thumps her gloves and assures the ref she’s good to continue. She sends a few flimsy punches towards Astrid but the whale is just toying with her. She backs away, letting her clumsy swings whiff through the air”

R: “And there’s the bell. Masha is leaking sweat and milk like a busted faucet as she slumps back into her corner.”

M: “Astrid barely got touched that round. Masha’s losing more and more distance as Astrid racks up her score. She’s got more than fifty points on Masha by now.”

R: “Masha needs to double her score fast or score a knockout, and the odds of that keep getting worse and worse as time goes on.”

M: “Considering that nobody has knocked out Astrid and she’s gone whole matches without being knocked down? Let’s just say it takes a real loyal fan to think Masha will pull this off.”

R: “Even her ring girls look concerned, but she’s set on seeing this fight to the finish. Another bell and round five is go.”

M: “Oof, look at that, Rick?”

R: “Nah, I see it. Masha’s odds aren’t going to be any better with her eye swelling up like that. That last head shot from Astrid really left a mark.”

M: “Astrid’s as quick and confident as ever. While Masha’s slowing down, the unconquerable landwhale just seems more decisive than ever. She’s working Masha’s upper body with ease.”

R: “And there’s that leaky nipple again! Masha’s leaving trails of white all over now.” 

M: “Astrid drills her back into the ropes. Masha leans into them and any seasoned old fighter will tell you that’s a bad move.”

R: “That’s a bad move.”

M: “See? Thanks for that, Rick.”

R: “Easy setup. Astrid is doubling down on Masha now!”

M: “She’s boxing Masha’s midsection while swinging her own tits into Masha’s! The bear can’t figure out where to block as her poor boobs are crushed by the champ’s firmer pair!”

R: “Astrid’s grinding on her more like a lover than a rival now. She’s really sending a message to the Polar Doll that you don’t come half-titted to a match with her!”

M: “Masha’s moaning and screaming against the ropes! She can’t budge the super heavyweight as she crushes her from head to toe!”

R: “OH! Emphasis on the head part! One massive cross from Astrid busts Masha’s muzzle! Surprised she doesn’t lose a fang to that!”

M: “Wow! What a mess! Astrid backs off and Masha’s sprung a whole new leak! She’s bleeding like crazy!”

R: “Shit, look at that splash zone! Her nose is leaking so bad it’s sprayed out all over her tits! I haven’t seen Masha look this bad in years!”

M: “This is the kind of power that has every woman in titboxing gunning for Astrid but the woman refuses to budge. She seems ready to take on the whole league as she backs off and beats her fists on her breasts in a show of force for the crowd.”

R: “Meanwhile Masha’s only still standing thanks to those ropes. Those huge bruised up tits and leaking blue nips look like they’ve been through a freakin’ war.”

M: “Astrid finishes her flexing and showing off as she shoves Masha off the ropes. She goes down like a ragdoll.”

R: “Masha’s barely got her elbows under her. She might be donezo.”

M: “With twenty seconds on the clock, that’s just enough… oh! Oh wow!”

R: Damn, Masha. What did you do to get on this whale’s shit list? Astrid has picked her up by the hair. Interference means the ten count has stopped”

M: “This is what we were talking about. Astrid is actively prolonging the fight just to inflict some more damage to her opponent.”

R: “She’s not usually the sadistic type though. More of a fun-lovin’ gal, even if she’s a force of nature in the ring.”

M: “Then there’s the bell. Astrid all but throws Masha into her corner before going back to hers, smiling all the way.”

R: “Seriously wonder what’s up with that. Hot as hell, cuz who doesn’t love a girl who’ll toss you around a little. I mean, I dated Rabid Rodriguez for a good six months, and that buff beauty could…”

M: “Just a sec, Rick! I’m getting some news from backstage…”

R: “Don’t know what you need that for. Look at the ring, missy. Astrid looks like a bruised up champ while Masha looked like the last bear standing at the end of a horror movie. Her crew is doing everything they can just to clean the blood out of her fur and they can’t seem to get it all. She’s got some real rainbow tits going on...”

M: “Oh! This might explain some of it.”

R: “Some of what now?”

M: “The news. Some of the fighters near the locker room reported to the backstage staff that they heard Masha arguing with Astrid before tonight’s show.”

R: “Oh yea? What about?”

M: “We don’t have all the details, but the team is saying they heard something about a bet. A punishment for whoever loses that Astrid accepted.”

R: “I’m sure the whale didn’t take too kindly to that… or maybe she did. Hard to tell with those happy bruisers like that.”

M: “I’ll say. Round six just started and the big whale comes back out with a smile on her face. Masha’s practically drooling as her team helps her back to her shakey feet.”

R: “This’ gonna get ugly, Mina. And by ugly, I mean hot as hell.”

M: “Astrid lands a few punches to Masha’s face, blasting the spit from her mouthguard. Masha can’t move nearly fast enough to stop her from just having her way with her.”

R: “OOF! Right in the lower lip!”

M: “Masha chokes out a scream as Astrid winds up and gets her with a devastating pussy punch! Not a big scorer in a titboxing match.”

R: “But it sends a hell of a message! Those shorts seem to be sticking to Masha’s pussy too.”

M: “Look, rough or not, if your girls get that much attention, sometimes the rest of your body can get a little confused, Rick.”

R: “Speaking from experience?”

M: “You’re not getting me in that ring anytime soon, if that’s what you mean. But I’ve had to get into a couple scraps with other girls before…”

R: “Oh we are talking ALL about this later. But meanwhile Masha’s looking like a bruised up blowup doll in that ring! Legs cross, mouth and eyes wide open… except for the one that’s still black and bruised shut.”

M: “Astrid has to hold Masha up for a second as she shoves her into a neutral corner. The bear’s arms go up around the ropes! She’s totally defenseless!”

R: “And Astrid goes to fuckin’ town! The whale goes wild dishing out tit buster after tit buster! Masha’s got flecks of milk and sweat flying everywhere! Astrid’s a freakin’ machine out there!”

M: “This has got to be devastating for Masha, and for her fans to watch.”

R: “Depends on the fan. I personally think nothing’s hotter than a woman fresh out of the ring with a few marks to show you she’s worked up and feelin’ active.”

M: “Masha’s definitely not looking ‘in the mood’ right now! Astrid’s going to town on Masha’s baby feeders as her own milk is splashed into her face.”

R: “Astrid is racking up those points fast as she brings Masha to screaming tears and… WOW! Hot damn, that’s impressive!”

M: “Astrid is full on using Masha’s funbags like speedbags! She’s juggling them up and down so fast they’re never fully settling down.”

R: “You don’t often get to see a move like this! It takes some real speed and control. The type you wouldn’t expect from a big girl like Astrid, but that’s why she’s the champ. Full of surprises.”

M: “Astrid’s really starting to sweat now but that’s the least of her worries! Masha can barely move let alone throw a punch.”

R: “And the champ is breaking down in tears! Hard to blame the girl at this point, but you know it’s rough when a move gets a former titboxing champ to cry.”

M: “Masha’s hanging limp on the ropes. She should have hit the mats long ago but Astrid’s kept her propped up by punches at this point.”

R: “And she trades speed for power as she grinds her gloves right into her nipples! Those heavyweight gloves are practically drilling for milk as she molds Masha’s busted boobs around her mitts. It looks like Masha’s getting a boobjob from a butcher.”

M: “Not that she needs any. And I’m sure she’d agree with that sentiment right now.”

R: “Looks like Astrid’s telling her something too.”

M: “She just said ‘Remember the bet.’ Some of the ring mics just picked it up.”

R: “Ah. So the rumors are true then. Nice work, Lenny. Best part of having a fruit bat as a sound guy.”

M: “And Astrid gives on more hook to Masha’s bad eye! She’s down and it’s swollen up worse than ever while her jugs are just bleeding milk all over the mats.”

R: “When you’re puddling, that’s a real bad sign for any titboxer. Masha’s saved by the bell, even if she might not want to be right now.”

M: “Round six was just devastating for Masha. She spent most of it as Astrid’s punching bag rather than mounting a comeback. She can barely even crawl to her corner before her aides help her onto her stool and do what they can.”

R: “She’s still leaking bad. I don’t think even Masha’s legendary stamina can stack up against Astrid’s absolute titboxing machine.”

M: “Some say fighting her is like boxing a brick wall.”

R: “A brick wall with awesome tits and a couple of swinging wrecking balls attached.”

M: “Masha is a mess as she gets back up. Boobs bruised, muscles veiny and weak from effort, face swollen and bloody.”

R: “I’m a little surprised Masha’s team didn’t throw in the towel, but frankly, a lot of fighters can be the stubborn sort. Normally that works to their advantage, but hard to say that’s the case tonight.”

M: “Masha staggers like a drunk out to meet her opponent, but Astrid comes at her just as hard as ever.”

R: “Gotta give her that. She’s giving Masha what you might call a warrior’s death. A couple hard socks to the tits and Masha’s barely able to stay standing. Oh! Impressive!”

M: “Masha lands a surprise shot to the champ’s snout! Don’t let anyone say the Polar Doll goes down that easily!”

R: “It’s a drop in the bucket by now, but gotta give her credit for that. Astrid even looks a little impressed.”

M: “Rrrright before she pays back Masha in kind. A quick combo gets past that exhausted guard and Masha’s back to bleeding, drooling and leaving most of her fluids on the mats.”

R: “The ref counts it down but that’s more out of tradition than anything. Masha was dead on her feet by round 6 at best. Now she’s just a groaning mess covered in milk and bruises.”

M: “The bell rings and Astrid is our winner and still the undefeated champion!”

R: “And at a score of 92 to 198! Astrid did a real number on her there. At more than double her challenger’s score, this was no contest for Astrid.”

M: “The champ goes to get her belt. Wonder what that bet thing was all about…”

R: “Looks like you won’t have to wait! Astrid’s getting something from underneath the ring… oooKAY! Things just real fun! The lucky fans are getting a little extra show tonight!”

M: “For those listening at home, Astrid has just pulled some kind of machine from under the ring apron. Masha barely wakes up in time to see it and she doesn’t look thrilled to see it…”

R: “Oh she’s terrified. I don’t suppose you’ve been around long enough to see a milking machine in the ring. A bonafide Milk-o-matic. Same as they used in the famous Farmhouse Frenzy back in ‘88 between Black Betty Bovine and Heidi ‘Hottie’ Highland. That’s the heavy duty stuff right there.”

M: “Astrid is propping Masha up in the corner. She’s shaking her head, pleading for mercy now but Astrid switches it on. That thing roars like a car engine!”

R: “Told you it’s heavy duty. Look at how hard that plastic bit sticks to Masha’s big blue nips.”

M: “And how hard Masha’s screaming! She’s stuck on the ropes thrashing and howling as we see the first jets of milk!”

R: “Those things’ll milk ya dry. Trust me. I once had a rough encounter with its cousin the cock-o-matic in a post-match just like this. Course when you turn that thing against a male boxer with some pecs...”

M: “Thanks for that mental image, Rick, but look at the rate that thing’s working! Astrid just steps back and watches as Masha screams herself hoarse. The milking must be uncomfortable to begin with, but her boobs are beaten to hell and back so every little jiggle burns like crazy.”

R: “Oh she can’t even keep up the screams. Masha’s just mewling and panting as she’s almost filling the machine’s bucket!” 

M: “It almost looks like she’s starting to like it.” 

R: “At least if she ever quits titboxing, there’s always openings at the dairy farm.”

M: “Harsh, Rick.”

R: “But fair. No offense to our hard-working ladies at the dairy farms. Buy local, fans.”

M: “Astrid leaves the ring without even unhooking Masha from the suction tubes. Her nipples are stretched out and aching as Masha passes out on the ropes. Could be from the pain or exhaustion or even dehydration after losing all those fluids.”

R: “And from her the way she was acting in the later parts of that milking, she may have just added cum to those fluids. Astrid leaves after dominating the match, flexing and shaking her goods for her beloved fans.”

M: “It looks like Masha’s not going to catch up to her white whale any time soon.”

R: “I’d say Astrid’s more of a gray color than white...”

M: “It’s a literary reference, Rick.”

R: “Oh. I knew that…”

M: “So the real question is can anyone stop the reigning champ?”

R: “Lot of big names have tried. There’s talk of Fumiko and Olga climbing the ranks. Konga has been talking about a dethroning her for a long time but her fight record against the the whale says otherwise.”

M: “Because she wailed on her?”

R: “Ha! You’re catchin’ on, kid. You’ll be slingin’ dad jokes like the best of them in no time.”

M: “Well there’s no telling what will happen in any night of titboxing, but for now it looks like Astrid is keeping her title and not letting anyone else get their tits on it.”

R: “Hail to the queen, baby.”

M: “So while the officials drag Masha out of the ring and try to get those suckers off her nips, get ready to join us next time when the lucha lizard Iguanita takes on the heavyweight Tina ‘The Wrecker’ Rex.”

R: “I’m always surprised how much ass Tina can kick with that short reach of hers. Also we get to see Nefertiti versus Donna waist-deep in mud for a pigsty pit fight to see who’s the mudslinging queen.” 

M: “So until next time, tit fans: stay hard.”